lichen-II Ennfs answers

Mark Fisher asks comedian and mammal Emo Philips the questions

that matter.

What do you hate about old people?

I don‘t hate anything about old people. l‘ve always said. you‘re only as old as you have a problem going to the bathroom in the morning. And l‘ve never shown any prejudice for those who are bom. let's just say. at a more comfortable position from the Apocalypse. I like older women. actually. I mean, much older. so they don’t remember you the next day. What’s your least favourite childhood memory?

Other than falling in the alligator pit? This bully came up to me once. the first day at school and he said. you give me your lunch or l'll beat you up. And i said. you‘ll have to catch me. you big ape! And I started running and he runs after me and he tackles me and pins me to the floor. ()f the bus.

Do you have any summer fashion tips? l like to buy clothes at used clothing stores because you don‘t hurt the environment by making new clothing. Did you you know that a single fur coat takes fourteen treesjust for the protest signs? ljust bought a beautifuljacket for ten dollars from the re-sale shop run by the Kidney Disease Foundation. I

don‘t know if l‘d buy a pair of pants from them.

What’s your preferred method of transport?

I don’t like buses. to tell the truth. i was running after the bus in Toronto the guy wouldn‘t stop unless it was at the designated stop and I‘m banging on the door and hejust keeps going for two blocks! Thank God I have some slack in my scarf.

What kind of music do you like?

i like Philip Glass. ljust find his music hypnotising and enchanting. i bought a Philip Glass record and i listened to it non-stop for four hours. Until i realised it had a scratch.

Do you have any advice on putting up shelves?

Don't do it during an interview. I tried it once during an interview and you can‘t concentrate and you talk a lot about nails and other people don't care about them. Do I have any advice for the shelf? if you‘re going to store bowling balls on the top shelf make sure they're in a bag. Don‘t leave loose bowling balls on the top shelf. If my sister was alive today she would tell

you why.

Where are you and where would you rather be?

I’m in London in a beautiful flat and if i wasn't here. I guess my favourite place would be by the right hand of God. That failing. lnvemess is nice. Do you like shopping?

i don't mind it too much. but you know what 1 hate that spoils the shopping experience? lt‘s stupid people behind the counter. For instance. i went up to one gentlemen and I said. i have a bum problem. and he said. well. you spread this sticky stuff all over and the bugs land in it and they die. which is great. but now I can‘t get my shorts off. What are best: dogs or cats?

It’s hard to say ‘cos I‘ve loved both animals throughout my life. It depends what you need them for. i had a cat who was a watch-cat and you really can‘t expect a cat to bark or scare anyone. so the most you can do is dress the cat in panties and a bra and just hope that he distracts the burglars who have just got out of the slammer.

Are you proud to be an American? You‘re making that up. cos that wasn‘t one of your questions! Just because i mentioned America. I‘ve got to talk about prison rape. We have the highest incarceration rate in the world. did you know that?

Have you ever been inside, yourself? Have I ever been inside myself? ()nce during a yoga class.

I Comedian and Mammal (Fringe) Emo Philips. Assembly Rooms (Venue 3) 226 2428. l3—22 Aug. 6pm. £7.50/£8.50 (£6.50/£7.50); 29 Aug. 9pm. £8.50 (£7.50); Queen's Hall (Venue 72) 668 20l9. 30—31 Aug. 7.30pm. £8.50 (£7.50).

ilflflfllll Rubbersoul

The title of The Beatles 1966 masterpiece, Revolver, contains a typically Lennonesque pun. Not only is a revolver a gun, it’s also a circle of spinning vinyl. Twenty-three years on, Revolver is a play by Emily Woof who, in the various instalments of her Sex trilogy, has proved that she’s not such a bad little revolver herself.

You can see her circus skills to best advantage in the revived Sex III, a freefonn tale of a girl who becomes a boy in a ‘trapeze love story’, at the Assembly Rooms towards the end of the Fringe. In the meantime her new show is a flashback to the 1960s and the days of Taxman, Eleanor Rigby and Good Day Sunshine. ‘The Beatles album is the basic theme,’ she explains, admitting to making use of a revolving chair to satiate my desire for a running theme, ‘beyond that, it’s

Emily Woof: star turn

about a woman researching a treatment for a TV programme which is going to be a series of videos based on the songs on Revolver. She’s a 90s woman who’s very ambitious, but as her research goes on she becomes

obsessed with the darker side of the 605.’

Dark deeds such as the shooting of Andy Warhol and the SCUM (Society for Cutting Up Men) manifesto take over in a spiral of grizzly obsession. ‘The show’s about being a fan and wanting to be a celebrity and wanting to kill celebrities,’ explains Woof, who will be using dance where in previous shows she might have used trapeze work, and who is going for more formal plot and character development than her earlier, more associative, collage style. For all that, the physical self-devised nature of her work means that she’s itching to get in front of an audience. ‘The urge to present it is always there,’ says Woof, who has worked with several directors on the one-woman show and will soon be finding out if happiness is indeed a warm gun. (Mark Fisher)

Revolver (Fringe) Emily Woof, Assembly Rooms (Venue 3) 226 2428, 13 Aug-4 Sept, 6pm, £6.50/£7.50 (2550/2650).


Mark Fisher picks out five sure-fire l early-evening shows.

I Sod Any man capable of the sublime brilliance of last year‘s .‘ll’I/llll' Smit/z sings Andy ll'i/liams can do no wrong. Fans of An Evening it'll/I Gary Lineker will agree. It‘s about a man who has buried himself in the back garden. but I'm sure that‘s not the point.

501/ (l’ringe) Ari/tar .S'ma/I. l’leasanee (l’enae .in’) 556 6550. 1.? Aug-4 Sept. 6.50pm. {6.50/[7 ([6/[6.5()).

3 ‘2 I New Love Song Waltzes Return visit of the Mark Morris Dance Group from America with the first of two witty and ravishing shows. this one choreographed to the music of Brahms (sung and played live). New Lure Sung Hit/[Hit (Festival) Mark Morris Danee (imap, Play/louse 'l'liezare. 225 5756. 17 J9 Aug. 7.30pm. [5—178 50. I Jim Rose’s American Circus Sideshow i haven't the stomach to be there myself. but this one‘s' a must for the evil love-children of the lost Archaos generation. Jim Rose is Ameriean ( 'ireus .S'ii/es/mw (l’ringe) xii'm/n‘lis an Gillan Hill (Venue 26) 55,7 696‘). I6 Aug-4 Sept. 7.30pm. {8. I The Persians The 25(Xl-ycar-old

drama directed by Peter Sellars has lost

none of its bite according to critics at the Sal/burg Festival. Sec Feature.

The Persians (Festival) The .S‘a/zinag l-‘es/ival/MC' ()3 Brr/ri'g/i_\'. Rava/ l._veeam Theatre. 235 5756. /6—2/ .riag. 7.30pm. £6 [/5.

I Funk 0" Green l,.i/. Ranken and Alan Scott—Moncrieff's eclectic blend of sexual send-up. ()T’l‘ costume. scratch— mixing and live violin is one of several physical theatre highlights brought together by Continental Shifts at St Brides.

l’ank (if/'(Ireen (fringe) .S'I Bra/ex. SI Brit/ex (’enlre rlé'ni'ie 6.?) 5’46 /4()5. [6- .‘b’ .‘iag (no! 33/, 7..i’()/nn. {7&4}.

The list l3 I” August I‘M} 39