second Opinion and the cancer got treated. '

I Get Back (BBCI) 8.30—9pm. Martin’s sold so many Doggie Chunks he can now pay back his brother Albert. but a dramatic reversal is on its way during a celebratory dinner.

I Only Fools And Horses (BBC2) 9.IO—lOpm. Re-run of the classic 1989 Yuppy Love episode. in which Del begins to model himself on Gordon Gecko whilst Rodney cops with the lovely Cassandra. Part of the After Margaret season.

I Cutting Edge: Bich Pickings (Channel 4) 9—10pm. Picking and packing the fresh produce destined for supermarket shelves means back-breaking work for long hours and little pay. And as this documentary reveals. that‘s just the better aspects of an increasingly corrupt industry.


I Check But 93 (Channel 4) 8.30—9pm. Carole Peters checks out just which M P’s get paid what and by whom for being ‘parliamentry advisers’.

I Between The lines (BBC I) 9.30—l0.20pm. MP Nicholas Shaw (Paul Freeman) wants to tighten control on police activity. but before you can say ‘Allan Green' his protection officers have tipped off the press about his mistress. Or is it all as simple as that?

I Armistead Maupin’s Tales iii The City (Channel 4) 10—1 lpm. It‘s Christmas Eve. and Mary Ann confronts Norman about the child pornography he’s been peddling as they’re walking along the cliffs. Guess what ha pens next.

I Cmni us: Houdini (BBCl)

lO.20—l 1.10pm. Sixty years after his death and his friends are still holding a seance to contact the greatest escape artist. Will Harry pull off The Big One? Anna Benson Gyies’ documentary mixes archive footage with reconstructions to give a portrait of a remarkable performer who remains shrouded in myth.

I Pirates 8. Emperors - Who Is The Terrorist? (Channel 4) I [pm—midnight. Noam Chomsky and Gerry Adams are among those asking if terrorism is anything more than a propaganda phrase, and dealing with responses from Northern Ireland. the Middle East and Central America.

I The late Show: The Booker Prize (BBC 2) l 1.15—1 1.55pm. Sarah Dunant presents a special edition from London’s Guildhall as the l993 Booker prize is announced. if they can get away with slow motion replays of moves in the Short/Kasparov match then anything's possible.


I Star not: (BBC2) 6—6.50pm. Ignore those ill-informed comments in Wayne's World: there is but one God and his name is Shatner. This time he's up against it when a beautiful Romulan Commander entices Spock to turn against his friends. Never trust a Vulcan. Jim.

I Rough Guide To The Americas (BBC2) 6.50—7.30pm. Magenta and Rajan dodge the flying graphics to visit Guatemala. where 5,000 street kids sleep rough each night. A couple of frenzied editing sequences later and the cool couple appear in San Marcos and Belize.

I Stalag luit (Scottish) 8—10pm. Stephen Fry is ‘Big F'. leader of an incompetent and mismatched group of World War II POW’s imprisoned in the heart of Germany. He's made 23 escapes attempts and suffered 23 recaptures. but now he's working on the greatest escape of all time. I Seinfeld (BBC2) 9—9.25pm. It looks like George might be getting vengeance several years after that date which went horribly wrong: when Leslie doused him with chocolate during an arts performance then left with another man.

I Screenplay: Boswell and Johnson’s Tour or The Western isles (BBCl) 9.25—10.35pm. John “Tutti Frutti’ Byme directs Robbie Coltrane and John Sessions

in an adaptation of Johnson’s journals from I773. See preview.

I The Almost Complete History or The Motieth Century (Channel 4) 9.45-l0pm. This time the almost serious documentary deals with the vast amounts of aid spent re-arming the German economy after the war. whilst we Brits still suffered the indignity of queueing up for half a pound of lard. And despite massive shortages in manpower they still ended up with a better football team.


I Top Gear (BBC 2) 8.30—9pm. If cars weren‘t the status symbol of the 20th century then these boys would be fully qualified members of the dirty mac brigade: ‘I had a picture of a Ferrari Daytona on my bedroom wall when I was eight.‘ grins Jeremy Clarkson. ‘and l really believe it's one of the best looking cars ever made.’ When are we going to get a prime time TV slot for trainspotters? I Critical Eye: The Dirty War (Channel 4) 9—10pm. Another one of those revisionist documentaries which sets out to besmirch our great military victory in the Gulf. This time the left wingers at Channel Four are claiming that troops were inoculated against biological weapons with drugs that hadn‘t been tested properly. and that

using over 300 tons of depleted uranium

ammunition is bad for your health. Stuff and nonsense.

I The Dog’s Tale: One of The Family (BBC2) 9.30-10. 10pm. At the Animal Medical Centre in New York they know

i the death of a dog causes a family crisis.

so they offer a Grief Group therapy session for the owners. In Korea it’s a different vat of entrails altogether.

I Close My Eyes (Channel 4)

lOpm—midnight. Clive Owen and Saskia Reeves star as the estranged brother and sister who meet up in the steamy London summer of 1990 and soon get down to a bit of taboo breaking. Alan Rickman gives

. a wonderful performance as Alan


I Small Objects of Desire (Channel 4) 10.10—10.30pm. ‘Give ’em ajolt with a Colt' was the catchy slogan of one Samuel Colt. inventor of the revolver. His legacy is under investigation in the last of this documentary series. which reveals that there’s a firearm for every man. woman and child in the United States.


I Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons (BBC2) 6—6.25pm. BBC2 dredge up more race memories with a re-run of the Geny Anderson puppet alien caper. Those pesky Mysterons are threatening to kill the supreme commander of Earth forces within 24 hours.

I The living Soap (BBC2) 7. l5-7.45pm. The first instalment of the fly-on-the-wall documentary looking at the lives of six Manchester students. Simon is involved in an anti-BNP demo, while Emma is trying to get some work as a DJ.

I Beniob (Scottish) 9-lOpm. Griff Rhys- Jones. Martin Clunes and Amanda Redman star in the post-war tale of an aspiring showbiz double-act. Deasey and Dobson find themselves starting at the bottom when they are booked to support Morton Stanley the King Of Variety (played by the late Les Dawson).

I Cheers (Channel 4) 9.30—10pm. Carla‘s ex-husband returns promising to be her love-slave. and convincing everybody except Carla.

I Alter Margaret The Bay She Went (BBC2)9.30—10pm. November 22 1990 was the glorious day Margaret Thatcher resigned. People around the country. from daughter Carol to the local florist. recall what they were doing when the news was announced.

I lo Way But (BBCI) 9.30—1 1.20pm. Kevin Costner. Gene Hackman and Sean Young star in a tense political thriller from

1987. Young plays the mistress of the US Defence Secretary Hackman. When she is murdered. he orders aide Costner to investigate. but Costner already knows more than he is letting on.

I have i Bot News For You: The Downing Street Years (BBC2) lO—lO.30pm. A new series of the topical news quiz opens with a special to mark Thatcher week. Ian Hislop and Paul Merton are the captains. Angus Deayton the MC.

I Nurses (Channel 4) lO—l0.30pm. Gina spends money left in her care. and discovers that crime doesn’t pay.

I Clive Anderson Talks Back (Channel 4) l0.30—l I. lOpm. The naked-bonced sultan of smug encounters mid-Atlantic Glaswegian chanteuse Sheena Easton.

I Br Terror’s vault or Horror: The Bate/I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (BBC 1)

l 1.20pm—2am. Another horror double bill opens with a black comedy about a couple of kids who discover a gateway to hell in their back garden. followed by a I958 B- movie about an English scientist who assembles a creature with the head (and attitudes) of a teenager.


I Made In The USA: Just Another Girl 0n »

The INT (Channel 4) ll.45pm-l.25am.

Recently shown on the arthouse circuit, Leslie Harris’s debut feature follows the coming-of-age of feisty seventeen-year— old Brooklyn girl Ariyan Johnson. The constant asides to camera can irritate but it's a brash and sassy hour and a half.


I Casualty (BBCI) 8—8.50pm. More blood. guts and personal traumas are spilled in Holby General’s Accident and Emergency Department.

I Came Edna’s Neighbourhood Watch (Scottish) 8.35—9.05pm. Dame Edna continues her gleefully offensive voyeuristic peek into other people’s homes.

I The War Room (BBC2) 9-lO.35pm. The first of an evening’s programmes marking the anniversary of the election of Bill Clinton to the American Presidency is. this revealing documentary looking at the backstage machinations during his campaign.

I Canny Bdrer After All (BBC I)

I I.25—l2.05am. The cockney chirpster struggles through another mélange of chat. music and gaggery.

I Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars (BBCI) l2.05—l.35am. Rock film specialist DA Pennebaker made this documentary record of David Bowie's final stage appearance in his (frankly laughable) Ziggy persona. filmed at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1973.


I Heartbeat (Scottish) 7.30—8.30pm. Nick Berry stars in the soft-centred Yorkshire co series set in the 60s.

I Made In USA: Mystery Train (Channel 4) lOpm-12.05am. Jim

J armusch's trilogy of cool Beat-obsessed tales is set in and around a seedy Memphis hotel. Directionless, hip and amusing. the stories (Japanese teenagers on a pilgrimage to Elvis's grave. an Italian escorting her husband’s coffin back to Rome. and a down-on-his-luck English rocker hanging around town) are

secondary to the style. with Joe Strummer perfectly cast as the rockin' casualty.

I The South Bank Show (Scottish) 1045—! 1.45pm. A profile of Sylvia Guillem.


I Cracker (Scottish) 9—l0pm. The first episode of a new two-part story staning Robbie Coltrane as temperamental psychologist Fitz. The series has been a triumph so far. skilfully juggling the gritty storylines with the black comedy of Fitz‘s home-life. Coltrane‘s best TV work since Tutti F rutti.

I iiewman And Baddiel In Pieces (BBC2) 10—10.30pm. The Mary White/muse Experience duo continue in their efforts to make every last person in the country detest their smug. unfunny. repetitive skits.


I The Smell Di Reeves And Mortimer (BBC2) 9—9.30pm. Vic and Bob continue to sing paeans to their favourite aromas and look for the bloke under the ice. Uncle Peter carries on stealing the show. I Between The lines (BBCl) 9.25—IO.25pm. Neil Pearson stars as Det Supt Tony Clark in the acclaimed drama about the Police Complaints Investigation Bureau. Tough. witty and imaginative. it's several cuts above most police series.

I Tales lit The City (Channel 4)

10—] lpm. The Armistead Maupin 70s San Francisco saga continues.

I Omnibus: Who Killed Tchaikovsky? (BBCI) 1030—! 1.30pm. Not me guv. I was visiting my sister in Cricklewood at the time. and I’ve got witnesses.

I The Fog (Channel 4)

10.35pm—l2. 15am. A John Carpenter horror nm'r classic from 1979. A sinister fog bank rolls off the Pacific to engulf a small Californian town. More brooding menace than full-scale gore, and all the more effective for the restraint shown by the director.

I Football Italia (Channel 4)

12. 15-] .30am. For calcio aficionados not getting enough on Sunday afternoons. those lovely people at Channel 4 bring us midweek action from Serie A. kicking off with extended highlights from Inter v Parma. and a round-up of the weekend games.


I Hanover Street (Scottish) 8—10pm. Nothing to do with Edinburgh‘s New Town. this feeble wartime Brief Encounter variant starring Harrison Ford and Lesley Ann-Down in the Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson roles. He‘s an American pilot with a yellow streak. she’s a fickle English rose. and the dialogue is as banal and cliched as the plot.

I The Buddha Bi Suburbia (BBC 2) 9—9.30pm. Sex and similar 70$ sauciness are the key ingredients in this four-part adaptation of Haniff Kureishi's novel. set in Bromley. See preview.


I Focal Point (BBCl ) 8.30—9pm. A topical investigative report from the award-winning BBC Scotland team.

I NC (Scottish) 7—7.30pm. Arts and entertainments in bite-sized chunks from the dynamic duo.

I All In The Same (Scottish) 9—lOpm. The third episode of the six-part series written by Stan Hey from an original idea by Gary Lineker. It follows the exploits of an English footballer who is transferred to Barcelona. ' I Film Co Four: Paper Mask (Channel 4) 10—] 1.55pm. Paul McGann stars in a black comedy as a London hospital porter who decides to impersonate a casualty doctor. unwittingly aided by nurse Amanda Donohoe.


The List 22 October—4 November I993 79