I Caprlccio (BBC2) 7.15—9.40pm. More Kiri Te Kanawa. playing the Countess in Richard Strauss’s dramatisation of the struggle between words and music in opera. represented by rival suitors for her hand.

I FILM: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (BBC 1) 8-9.50pm. Michael Caine in passable film that’s not Zulu shocker! He and Steve Martin play a couple of rival conmen plying their trade among the rich widows of the French Riviera, and challenging each other for the right to stay and claim the itch.

I F LM: Joe Versus The Volcano (Scottish) 8.30—10.25pm. A more than usually ludicrous tale of a dull young man (Tom Hanks) who believes he only has a limited amount of time to live. He accepts an eccentric billionaire’s offer to finance a luxurious lifestyle for a week on condition he jumps into a volcano at the end of it.

'1. :1 t

I FILM: Wittgenstein (Channel 4) 9—10.20pm. Derek Jarman‘s typically idiosyncratic telling of the life and thoughts of the troubled philosopher manages to be stylish, humorous and pretentious in roughly equal measures. I FILM: Born On The Fourth DI July (BBC2) 9.50pm-12. 10am. Tom Cruise got an Oscar nomination for his role as paralysed Vietnam veteran Ron Kovic in Oliver Stone's characteristically emotive film. Kovic returns from Vietnam disenchanted with the war and with his country.

I Brace Yourself Sydney (Channel 4) 11.30pm—12. 15am. Julian Clary polishes up his double entendres down under as he hangs out (oo-er) in New South Wales.


I FILM: Carry On Cleo (Scottish) 3.30—5.10pm. The greatest Carry On (it even inspired a Smiths song) with Amanda Barrie (aka Alma Baldwin), Sid James and Kenneth Williams in a rollicking tale of Ancient Rome. The gags are as cute as the history is inaccurate. Infamy. etc . . . I FILM: Breakfast At Tiffany’s (BBC2) 3.50—5.40pm. Audrey Hepburn stars in the film version of Truman Capote's novel. as gold-digger Holly Golightly who is determined to marry the ninth richest man in America (as long as he's under 50). I FILM: Chest Dad (BBCl) 6.35-8pm. Cloying stuff starring Bill Cosby in one of those mix-up-in-Heaven tales of a loving dad allowed to spend some time on Earth before facing Eternity. I FILM: Havana (BBC2) 94 1.20pm. Sidney Pollack’s dull tale of romance in revolutionary Cuba would like to be Casablanca but Robert Redford doesn’t cut it as the Bogart figure. and Lena Olin is an unconvincing wife of a rebel leader. I FILM: Suspect (Scottish) 9—10.15pm. 10.35-11.35pm. Cher is at her least impressive as a public defender. but Liam Neeson is fine as her toughest client. a Vietnam vet who is implicated in the death of a judge. As she investigates the case a high-level conspiracy begins to emerge.

I Spender: The French Collection (BBCl) 9.30—1 1.05pm. A feature-length special starring Jimmy Nail as the Geordie 'tec heading to Marseilles to pick up a fleeing villain. See preview.

I Sean’s Show (Channel 4) 10—10.30pm. Dublin‘s favourite miserablist concludes his series with some grim realities. not least the arrival of tubby old Goth bore Robert Smith.

I Xmas In New York: Hookers, Hustlers, Pimps And Their Johns (Channel 4) lO.30pm—12.05am. Beeban Kidron’s comic. tragic. frank and revealing documentary looks at prostitution in New York. the specialists. the customers and the victims.

I FILM: A Fistful Di Dollars (Scottish) ll.35pm—l.20am. The original spaghetti Western. with our Clint as the Man With No Name (useful for tax purposes) getting caught up in the feud between two rival families.


I Health And Efficiency (BBCl)

i 8.30—9pm. A new comedy series set in a a deregulated health-care organisation.

; presided over by Dr Rex Regis (Roger

? Lloyd Pack). Expect black satire rather

than warm family fun. ; I Screen Two: The Railway Station Man

(BBC2) 9—10.40pm. Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland co-star in Shelagh Delaney’s romance about two emotionally-damaged people meeting in an isolated Donegal town. but finding they cannot entirely escape the world.

I FILM: Crazy People (BBC l)

930—] lpm. A rickety vehicle for Dudley

Moore about an advertising copywriter

: who begins telling the truth and is

naturally sent to a mental institution. Then, ho-hum. his campaigns begin

9 selling. . .

I An Evening With Lee Evans (Channel 4) 10.10—10.40pm. Southend’s second best clown and Perrier Award-winner runs through his repertoire of physical comedy. with help from a certain Bruce Forsyth.

I Jo Brand Through The Cakehole (Channel 4) 1040-1 1. 15pm. She of the deadpan delivery and a lot of gags about obesity delivers a mix of stand-up and sketches.


Lqu sings the blues for Hogmanay

I FILM: An American Tail (BBC 1) 4.15-5.35pm. Steven Spielberg‘s animated story of an emigre Russian mouse finding himself washed ashore in New York. and looking for his family. Gratingly cute.

I Opening Shot: Suede (Channel 4) 7.05-7.35pm. A repeated profile of the

foppish popsters who’ve grabbed the kids‘

hearts this year. More of an Auteurs man meself.

I FILM: Star Trek V (BBC 1) 6.30—8.15pm. The Final Frontier for Kirk and chums as the Enterprise encounters the Great Bam'er. What lies beyond (apart from Star Trek W)?

I The Steamie (Scottish) 8.45—10. 15pm. Tony Roper‘s warm (I‘d say sentimental. but the last time 1 did that i got a deal of abuse from the writer) comedy drama about a group of Glasgow women in the early 50s gathering in the communal

‘steamie‘ to finish their washing before the celebrations begin.

I Lulu’s Big Show (BBC l) 8.50—9.45pm. The Bellshill bellower gets back to her roots in a Hogmanay special. singing blues and rock and roll in the company of Booker T and the MGs and James Brown. the Godfather of something or other.

I Hew Year’s Eve Triple Whammy (Channel 4)9.50pin—12.15am. Three Hogmanays for the price of one on Channel 4 with some judicious time-zone hopping allowing you to bring in the New Year in Cape Town. Prague and Dublin. Cameras will be in all three cities collaring revellers on the streets.

I Aye That’s Her Again (Scottish) 10.15—11.30pm. Dorothy Paul delivers the second instalment of her well-received life-story. recorded at Glasgow Pavilion. I Only An Excuse Hogmanay Special (BBC 1) 10.35—1 l . 10pm. Tony Roper and Jonathan Watson bring their collection of wicked parodies of Scottish soccer personalities to the small screen. Hazel Irvine makes the controversial offside decisions.

I ’Tis The Season To Be Jolly (BBCl) ll. 10—] 1.50pm. Rikki Fulton serves up his traditional Hogmanay dish. with a 40- rninute special devoted to the mournful minister Rev I.M. Jolly.

I A Bold New Year! (Scottish)

1 1.30pm—12.30am. A traditional Hogmanay hoolie (or should that be heulidh'?) from those cheery Grarnpian people. See preview.

I Hogmanay Live (BBCl) l 1.50pm—lam. Music of mixed provenance to take you through the bells. with Wet Wet Wet. Bonnie Raitt. Paul Brady and Midge Ure heading the bill. See preview.

I FILM: lIIchoIas And Alexandra (Scottish) 1.20—4.40pm. The epic tale of the last of the Romanovs and their demise in 1917. Look out for mad monk Rasputin for he was a cat that really was gone.

I Heroes at Comedy (Channel 4) 7.30—10pm. A lengthy tribute to the great British tradition of stand-up comedy. featuring every laugh merchant from Hancock to Merton.

I Casualty (BBCl) 8.20—9. lOpm. More traumas in Holby with the department facing the threat of closure. Meanwhile a friendly cricket match turns nasty. IOPauI Calt's Video Diary (BBC2) 9—9.35pm. Steve Coogan’s slobbish alter ego takes us on a trip into his world of beer. porn videos. his best mate Fat Bob and his outrageous sister Pauline.

I Taggart (Scottish) 9.10—1 1.10pm. Glasgow’s unluckiest detective returns to cheer you up after your festive excesses. investigating the goings-on at a fertility clinic.

I FILM: Trading Places (BBC l)

930—] 1.20pm. Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy co-star in the old life-swap schtick about two men of contrasting backgrounds whose fortunes are

New Year’s Dali

Dulrky romance in Homuald And Juliette manipulated by a pair of feuding millionaires.

I FILM: Homuald And Juliette (BBC2) 9.35—1 1.25pm. A romantic comedy about the manager of a dairy products company who has no idea that his employees are plotting against him and his wife is having an affair with his protege. The black cleaner Juliette is rather more clued in.

I Bory Bremner's Christmas (Channel 4) 10—1 l.05pm. The impressionist offers a satirical slice of festive comedy.

I Broadway Stories: Dancing Dan’s Christmas (Channel 4) 11.05-1 1.40pm. Mike McShane begins a series of Damon Runyon stories with the tale of festive mysteries down at Good-Time Charlie's bar. See preview.

I Simply Bed (Channel 4) ll.40pm-12.40am. An hour in the company of Mick Hucknall's croonsome combo. featuring all the hits and the inevitable more.

I FILM: Hustle (BBC 1) lZ.3()—2.25am. Robert Aldrich‘sfilm noir stars Burt Reynolds and Catherine Deneuve as a detective and call-girl involved in a sleazy world of murder and conspiracy.

88 The List I? December 1993—13 January 1994