According to Duncan Cunningham of Paravox. the company that set up the service, offering a voice rather than a written ad generates a better response. ‘On average,’ he says. ‘people get between 10 and 30 calls with women and gay men doing the best ofall. However. one thing that has emerged is the number of habitual liars when it

W w “5 ‘5 Time comes to telling the truth about your “(mg H83 one Datmg age. The real frbbers are the ones in y ‘3 .... Tetep“ . Mort to their 40s and 50s who regularly lop off Talking “cans, “me 0“, ten years!’ Perhaps Colin doesn‘t sound

The 'Lip-smacking, thirst-quenching, 50 bad after 3“-

ace-tasting motivating male of 33‘ as he generously described himself in the Talking Hearts section, actually transpired to be 26-year-old Essex-boy called Colin who listens to ‘the Floyd when I'm feeling sombre' and likes nothing better than ‘little cuddles and t kisses in front of the telly'. v Talking Hearts is an up-dated version i

of the 80s invention tele-dating. but

now incorporates a written and spoken 9, Auto-Dates

personal ad package. For £30 the

advertiser composes a 25-word description such as. ‘l‘ve gone all l hedonistic in 1994' or ‘Gay pilot with i ‘Hi this is Auto-Dates, the newest and great smile’ intended to tempt - hottest dateline service in South prospective dates. Interested parties : Florida . . .' The assured full-throttle then ring the personalised number at volume voice of Cliff Dvorkin is assails the end of each ad and listen to a four 1 my eardrums down the line from minute pre-recorded message telling 1 Miami. The erstwhile Crime Capital them in husky/cheery/downright also doubles as the hub of the driver- depressive tones about the advertiser in dating industry. Set up nearly a year more detail. The caller can then choose ; ago Cliff has already wooed 800

to make a swift anonymous exit or i members each prepared to pay $19 to leave their own message and number. ; find their true love on the highways and

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interstates of the Sunshine state. The smooth-talking Cliff explains his brainwave. ‘The way it works is you're driving along in your convertible okay?‘ With you so far Cliff. ‘You see this babe in front of you in the traffic. right'?’ he continues. ‘She’s got a personalised code number attached to her bumper with our phone number right? So all you got to do is phone us and quote her number. Then it's up to her to get back in touch with you. right?‘ Right Cliff. And with that low-down Cliff despatches me with a robust. ‘Have a great day' and goes off to deal with a prospective Auto-Dater in a yellow Mustang.

Two experienced female Auto-Daters have just published a book entitled Love On A Two-Way Street. packed full of handy hints for go-getting singles keen to stop Prince or Princes Charming in their tracks. Here’s a sample which could be the answer to every Lada-owner‘s prayer:

‘1. Honk give this signal if you are horny and want some attention. 2. Flash cards get a stack of large index cards and write down brief messages such as ‘You‘re Cute’ or ‘Follow Me’. and of course one card with your phone number. 3. When all else fails try

fender bending.’ a.





it to it. The Terrace never

stops. Have a tasty Z-ruurse bullet ler unly £9.75. Pep in fur a slap-up high lea 0r just a rullee. Tuesday is Lite Night. Thursday is Pasta Night. Sunday is Brunehday. Meet

friends at Iz‘dinburgh's




l llS'l‘ltv'll. SUl-iilll.


awn continental cale.

l’uu'll seen buzz back again.

AV/fli éTfiIfiACE

at the Sheraton Grand Hotel

Tlll. lll31l2299l3l

74 The List 1 1—24 February 1994