A selection of television highlights, listed by day, in chronological order. Television listings compiled by Eddie

I Fat Man In France (BBC 1) 7.30-8pm. Tom Vernon takes his beard and his bike on a jaunt to Burgundy for a spot of snail slurping. fruit liqueur qtiaffing and oddly. given the gastronomic remit of the show -— water jousting.

I Soundbites (BBC‘Z) 8.3()~9pm. For those in search ofcnltnre rather than trash of a Friday evening. livelyn Glennie gets together with the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra to present a programme recorded at the Usher Hall in Edinburgh. Accordion maestro James Cabb gets to grips with Torbjorn l.unquist’s Due/l while Glennie and the orchestra beat those skins for Grnher’s percussion bash Slimtree/mm Rang/i Music.


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I Meat (oocn 9.05-10.35pm. Writt


en by Daniel Boyle, who wrote five Inspector

a Morse films, this gritty drama takes a harrowing look at the lives of Charlie (Jonny

! Lee Miller), recently released from a young offender’s institute, Myra (Sarah-Jane

Potts), his teenage prostitute girlfriend, and her pimp Frank (Peter Wright). When

i Myra falls pregnant to Charlie all hell breaks loose and sets a terrible revenge in motion. Set among london’s low-life, this is a tale of adolescent passion and

i brutality which will round off your weekend on a sombre note.

i that it's safe to watch comedy without any

i danger of bursting the stitches in our sides. This evening‘s sacrificial lambs to the altar of Light Entertainment are Harry Hill. Bobby Slayton. Anthony Clark. Donna McPhail. Steady Iiddy and for the

' anally obsessed. Mr Methane. who through years ofcarel'ul sphincter control can play tunes on his unique wind instrument.

I Shlock Horror! Blood Beast Terror

; (Channel 4) |2.lO—l.4()am. Continuing

i the comedy theme on Channel 4 comes

' one from the crypt about a Victorian

copper hunting down the monstrosity

I responsible for a series of ketchup-

; splattered murders. Predictably enough.

| Peter Cushing stars and Roy l-ludd plays

j the straight man.

I Clive Anderson Talks Back (Channel 4) ll)..‘~()—l l.l()pm. Television's least hirsute lawyer crosses tongues with Billy ‘.\1r Saturday Night' Crystal and suave trash merchant Antoine dc Cannes. The sartorially exquisite dc Cannes can actually speak perfect linglish with an impeccable accent but then that woulle be half as much fun. It (\I-(‘t' pus. III\‘ lt't‘flt' Bryan's/t ('llmus'.’

I Just For Laughs Unleashed (Channel 4) l l.lOpiit—12.l()am. After a break of a couple of weeks to recover from mirth

overdoses at the Festival. we can assume


E I TOTP2 (BBCZ) 5.15—6pm. That's 'liip

uf’l’ln' Pups to you. youngster. Ahh. l

remember the days when 'I‘()'l'l’ was

! obligatory viewing if you wanted to keep tip any pretence of street cred in the playground on a Friday morning. Admitting to watching it now is like being caught with a tank top collection under your bed. This show mixes the modern with the antique. featuring highlights of 'I‘hursday's show contrasted with hits from the heady days of '83 when lloward Jones. Hot Chocolate. The Alarm and Culture Club were on the lips of the nation‘s youth. Watch out for the lank Bryan Ferry losing his 'I‘()'l'l’ cherry from 1972.

I Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (BBC 1 ) 9. 10— 10.50pm. The third in the series of post-holocaust actioners sees Max coming off the road and losing his wheels but finding solace in the gory joy ofbattle. thus proving that nothing ever

I changes in his desolate world. This is the weakest of the three movies but it is saved by the sheer silliness of the plot and the setting Bartertown. a place governed by

Tina Turner. powered by pig shit and

populated by people rejoicing in such

names as Master Blaster.

( I Lost and Found: Caged Heat (BBCZ) l|.-1()pm— l .()5am. Jonathan Denime's

2 prison movie will make Prisoner ('el/

i Block H look like a holiday camp as lirase

Gavin. Juanita Brown and Roberta Collins

l battle it out against the sadistic. crippled

j governess Dr Randolph. and experimental brain surgery posing as a short. sharp

I shock.

I Carry On Nurse (Scottish) 2.45—4. 15am. A powerful and disturbing look at the systematic dismantling of the NHS and the strain which this puts on the staff who hold it all together. Kenneth Williams and team peddle the usual bedpanjokes and double entendres from the era before PC was invented. Note the clever scheduling which means that this will go outjust as those who have taken advantage of Scotland‘s liberal licensing hours return home in a suitable state of mind to appreciate the finer points of the subtle humour.


I LINK: Steady Eddy (Scottish)

l(). lS—l().30am. Focus on whether the Antipodean comedian with cerebral palsy has helped or harmed the cause of people with disabilities through his Quantum

; Limp tour of Britain. For many. he has brought the subject ofdisability into the

open and and tackled people’s prejudices

. head on. For others he has merely

reinforced the stereotyping which has plagued disabled people since time began. I The Car’s The Star (BBCZ) 7.40—78pm. This new series. presented by Quentin Wilson. takes a look at the cars from the era which many regard as the Golden Age of automobile design the 50s. 60s and

70s. This first programme focuses on

Britain‘s TV star car. the Ford Zephyr. eponymous hero (almost) of 7. Cars.

I Meat (BBCI) ‘).()5—l().35pm. Written by Daniel Boyle. this gritty drama takes a harrowing look at the lives of Charlie recently released from a young offender's institute. Myra his teenage prostitute girlfriend. and her pimp Frank. Set among

London’s low-life. this is a tale of adolescent passion and brutal revenge which will round off your weekend on a sombre note.

I The Commitments (Channel 4) lOpm—l2. lOam. For those who want to end their evening on a lighter vibe. Roddy

‘Doyle's story of a group of young

Dubliners who find self-respect through forming a soul band should fit the bill. Alan Parker's film. with its cast of unknowns. was a surprise hit on its release and spawned buckets of wannabe soul bands the length and breadth of the British Isles.

I Everyman: Secrets of the Sea (BBC 1) l0.35—l 1.25pm. Filling the Sunday night God slot with a difference. Everyman takes a look at the Dead Sea Scrolls and the controversy which they have provoked. For years they were hidden from public and scholars alike amid rumours that they undermined the entire foundations of Judaism and Christianity and thus threatened the very fabric of Western society.

I Paris Trout (BBCI) ll. l0pm—l2.50am. Network premier of Stephen Gyllenhaal's chilling protrayal of racial hatred and stomach-churning misogyny. Dennis Hopper gives a horrendously realistic performance as Paris Trout. one of the most loathsome individuals ever to have debased a screen. Barbara Hershey is equally polished as Trout’s abused wife.


I Bab C. Nesbitt (BBC2) 9—9.30pm. The second in the new series finds our hero drunk and homeless. What‘s new? you ask. Well. nothing except that Rab‘s Ma has kicked the bucket and pricked her prodigal son’s conscience.

I Gremlins II: The flew Batch (Scottish) 9—1 1.40pm including News (1! 72m. They may be the new batch but they still look like the bastard sons of Yoda. This time around they take over a media mogul‘s network and try to run the country. See above for a clue as to where the plot may have come from.

I Panorama (BBCl) 9.30-10.10pm. Have you ever felt distinctly disgruntled when you received your miserable excuse for a wage cheque. then found out that the top exec at your company has just got a gargantuan golden handshake for making a complete dog‘s dinner of the company's finances? Nisha Pillai takes a look at the practice of rewarding failure at the top while screwing those at the bottom. Come the revolution. etc.

I Nice Day At The Office (BBCl)

IO. l()-lO.40pm. An ideal antidote for those who have just spent their first day back at work after the all-too-short freedom of the weekend. this new sitcom pitches an ill-assorted bunch ofcharacters together and waits for the fireworks. Much like reality. According to the accompanying press pack more people suffer heart attacks between 8am and 9am on Mondays than Ill arty other 60-minute period. Have a nice day. wage slaves.

The List 23 September—6 ()ctober l094 71