I ‘Cheer up, love - it may never happen!’ This is the kind of conversational gambit that’s unlikely to endear you to stand-up comic Donna McPhail. Hear her answer back at the Gilded Balloon; see Theatre listings lor details.

WORD

0F MOUTH

‘We are getting another of these third- rate acts which mock working class Scots. and to add insult, The Tiller Girls will be on the same bill . . . we’ll see a show more appropriate to a back green concert in Craigmillar.‘

Lot/tian regional councillor Paul Nolan gives a (.‘()()l critical appraisal oft/1e Festival Theatre 's Christmas special.

I They ain’t heavy, or even brand new for that matter, but this bunch of smooth London jazzers still have a few grooves left in them. Lighten up to the Brand New Heavies sound at Barrowland. See Rock listings for details.

I Lash out at Rose jeaturing Franeie and .losie. English, the performance artist who’s flogging ‘At first he seemed very wary that l

[WM the country With 3 might be coming out of an over- Irve horse. Sounds crazy and it probably is, but

ou’ll have t the . . {:esmal “egg: to find when he discovered that l was Irish!

out mom. see theatre Then he talked of his Italian origins listings for details, so I think there was some sort of mad Celtic bonding thing that went on.’ Kenneth Branagh on his concern that Robert de Niro would think he was an old luvvie on the set of ‘Marv Shelley 's Frankenstein '.

intellectualising English theatrical tradition. But I think he was relieved

‘I don’t know a woman who is attracted to a new man. I’ve seen attempts at new man and they’re vomit-inducing.’ The unret'(m.strza.'ted Keith Allen shows no sign oft'liangi'ng his laddish ways.

‘You’re out to prove that I’m not Britain‘s wittiest person? You lot up I there will be saying I’m not half so

i. 1" ,r / funny as fucking Kelman.’

Former l’uneh editor and funny bone \ I, ll(‘l\'l(’l' Alan Coren on being voted

s" 1" , Radio 4 listeners '_/avourite wit.

‘We can go on busting people with a hope and a prayer. I really enjoy it. but it has sod—all effect on the drugs problem.’

Metropolitan [)()/l('(’ (hie/I Cmnmander John Grieve. gives an honest assessment of the ejfeetiveness of existing drug laws while addressing senior Seottish police (rhiejs.

,1, 1144/ h

The List 4—17 November 1994 3