I Who’s the comedian? Phll Kay is there to collect an award for best British stand-up; Paddy Ashdown is on hand, presumably tor the benefit of caption writers. Well done, Phil.



‘When I‘m getting serious about a girl, I show her Rio Bravo and she better fucking like it.‘

Golden boy Quentin Tarantino reveals one of Hollywood is more bizarre courtship rituals.

‘Our paper is perfect for the middle— aged and narrow-minded wee couple who have bought their nice council house in Knightswood but who always feel their neighbour is getting on better than they are.’

Unidentified reporter on the newly relaunched Scottish Daily Express identifies the target reader.

I ll this is the guy you see in the shaving mirror every morning you could have a problem. Drinkline has published this entertaining booklet with a serious Christmas message: ‘By all means drink and have a good time, but be aware oi the lacts.’ You know it makes sense. There’s a confidential helpline on 0345 320202 (calls charged at local rates).

‘There is this breast hypnotherapist in Hollywood who hypnotises the breasts of girls who want to get bigger tits but don't want surgery and I found myself drawn in. It didn't work though I'm still a 328.‘

Jilly Hafenrichtet: producer of ITV’s Hollywood Kids documentary on LA brats, found herself going native.

‘l'm not Michael Douglas, 1 don‘t function well on the bottom. I like to move and I like the view. I don’t want the basement apartment. okay?’ Missionary (position) man Sylvester Stallone on why he won 't allow girls on


‘The NME and all those magazines come to expect the right to an interview. Hopefully it will establish a trend and make all those comfy, complacent music journalists work a bit harder. After all. they're just a bunch of sixth formers who've spent too long pogoing around their bedrooms with tennis rackets.‘

Mani of The Stone Roses on why the band decided to do one interview with The Big Issue to promote the new album.

53 a"


r I

I The time: May 1992. The place: Southport Beach. The line: ‘Come ahead Terry - make my day.’ Sergio Leone himself couldn’t have done it better in this moment of pure Scally western from Brookside. Channel 4’s cult soap now boasts its own spin- oii magazine in a newsagent near you. Top one, Barry.



The List 16 December 1994-12 January 1995 3