A selection of television highlights, listed by day, in chronological order.

Television listings compiled by Eddie Gibb.

I Time Alter Time (Scottish) Mti—(ipni. Return of the sitcom abotlt a reformed car thief who tries to seduce his probation

o ffic e t‘.

I Ellen (Channel 4) 9 9.30pm. lillen is trying to break up with her boy friend but she'sjust too darn nice to tell him it‘s

I 999 (BBCI ) 9. it) 10.20pm. .Michael Buerk returns for another series of the programme that re-enacts real-life

I Rising Damp (Channel 4) 0.30 - l()pln. Alan gets spooked when Rigsby' starts telling ghost stories.

I Jo Brand Through the Christmas Cakehole (Channel 4) l()--l().5()pm. We‘re moving into spring and Jo's foaming her nuts by the fire ~ there‘s comedy timing for you. ()ut-of-seasoll festive comedy from the rerun series.

I The Jack Dee Show (Channel 4 l l().5()—~l l.3()pm. fast in the repeated series by stand-up Jack with Mica Paris as guesL

I Fantasy Football League (BBCZ) ll.l5--l 1.45pm. David Baddiel. l‘rank Skinner and their gtlest celebrity managers enjoy another evening of armchair football fun.

I Baadasss TV (Channel 4)

ll.2ll—l 1.50pm. lce-T and Andrea ()livei serve tlp another gumbo of Afro- Altlerican and black British pop culture. including a look at a hip hop cable show that shows the explicit videos that don't make it onto primetime.

I Beavis and Butt-head (Channel .4) ll.5()pm—l2.25am. The animated short- trouser boys yell at the television and dream about girls.

I Vivian Stanshall: Diamond Geezer (BBCZ) |3.15—--l.35am. As a tribute to the eccentric former leader of the Bonn) Dog l)oo-l)ah Band who died last month. BBC: is reshowing his autobiographical work ('m/ik, which combines songs and monologue.

I Scanners (Channel 4) IZQS 2.20am. David ("ronenberg's seminal sci-ii shocker about people with the power to blow other minds. .


I Playing for Power (BBC2) 7.20—b'plti. Profile of Walter Marshall who was regarded by Margaret Thatcher as the man responsible for keeping the lights on during the miners' strike.

I Bugs (BBCl) s.()S--s.55pm. Nett- cheesey-by-design series about a trio of young intelligence agents in the mould of The Avengers. All three are played by former soap stars; Craig McLachlan from i‘y’eiglrlmurs. 'I'llt' Bill's Jaye Griffiths and Jesse Birdsall. who played the evil Marcus Tandy iii the defunct lilt/m-tu/o. Tonight our heroes hunt a royal assassin. I AM Wiedersehen, Pet (Channel 4) ‘)—l()pm. Bomber hears that his daughter has run away from home. btlt what cart he do about it stuck in Germany? The lads. as ever. rally round.

I The Turnaround (Scottish)

‘).()5—l().35pm. Feature—length pilot based on crime writer Mark Timlin‘s private eye Nick Sharman. Clive Owen is Sltarman. a man of tnany vices. who is driven by a dogged dermination to solve cases he takes on. In tonight's story Sharman becomes embroiled in a murder and kidnap plot which encroaches on his

personal life.

I The king of the comb-over returns to our screens with his own series. Gregor


wwr _ 3? :

Fisher’s Baldy Man started lite, along with Rab C. llesbitt, as a character on Naked Video. His adventures at covering an unleasibly large bald patch have now been extended to a halt hour’s worth of tolically-challenged humour.

The Baldy Man is on Wednesday 12 April at 8.30pm on Scottish.

I Chicago Hope (BBCl ) t). l S-itipni. American tnedical drama following ltot on the heels of Channel ls l;'./\’.. l)r (ieiger faces dismissal after indulging in an unauthorised medical experiment with a cadaver

I The White Room (Channel .1)

l(l-- l 1.05pm. Mark Radcliffe introduces bands including Porlishead and Pulp.

I The Lenny Henry Show (BBCI) lO—lt).4(lpm. More sketch-based comedy from Lenny. who plays characters including Hollywood writer Bud ('hukow ski and supercool sleuth Nathan (junn. Mica Paris appears as herself.

I Cracker The Movie (Scottish)

l().35pm—- l .(lSam. litlited down version of

. the [in/mic ti/it/ ('lvt/e story about a young.

fatally-attracted couple on a murder spree. Fortunately l-ltx's psychological profile is bang on

I The Red Light Zone (Channel 4)

l 1.05pm—5am. Turn the lights down low

' and snuggle tip for another evening of

sex-themed programmes. Holiday Snaps

1 ( 11.05pm) Documentary following a

group of amateur glamour photographers

who head to the Algarve for a week of

photographing unclothed women. Small

DiCk Fleshy ASS Thang! ( l l.J(lpnl) Short

comedy about inter-racial love. Caught looking ( l l.5()pm) \"irtual sex is explored

with this simulated gameshow about . homoerotic fantasies. Pigalle (_ l2..‘~5am)

Bizarre mix of fact and fiction exploring

7 the seedy lives of the inhabitants of

Paris's red light district. Pigalle. Fetish (2.25am) Piercings ahoy. for this look at the crossover between fetish and fashion. My Hustler (3.2511111) Andy Warhol's Fire Island film about a dial-a-hustler service. The Match That Started My Lite (4.35—5am) Short American comedy about women‘s sexuality.

I Later With Jools Holland (BBCZ) 1.05—2. 10am. .lools‘s live guests include Elastica and ex-l.ed Zeppers Jimmy Page and Robert Plant who are back together accompanied by a twelve-piece Egyptian orchestra.

I A-Z or Wagner (Chanrtel 4) 8—9pm. Beginning a week of Wagner-themed programmes. ll’ugncmmniu. this documentary provides an introduction to the composer's life and work. See preview.

I Hamish Macbeth (BBC l ) 8—8.50pm. More local difficulties ill l.ochdubh as

Robert Carlyle foils an insurance claim scatn. while the villagers fittd themselves compelled to buy television licences for the first time in years. Wry, warm and funny just about covers this gentle comedy drama.

I Band of Gold (Scottish) ‘)—l()pm. ' Tracy‘s back on the streets with a taste for

the high life. while Rose heads for l.ondon. in this compelling drama about Bradford prostitutes.

I Satellite Wars (Channel 4) ‘)~‘).45pm. Last in the absorbing series of programmes about the growth of satellite broadcasting. Tonight William Shawcross looks at the way governments try to impose ideological restrictions on the content of satellite broadcasts.

I Mastermind (BBC 1) Ill—10.30pm. Magnus Magnusson's black leather chair returns for another series of brain-teasing questions and contestants with over- developed frontal lobes.

I Tarrant‘s 10 Years on TV (Scottish) l()—l().3()pm. If you're challenged by :lluxlernri/itl. here's some guaranteed pulp viewing. as Chris Tarrant does a down- market Clive James routine. liels iii the underpants on a Japanese gameshow"? They got ‘em.

I Making Mr Right (Channel 4)

l()—l 1.55pm. Susan Seidelman's sci-ti sex comedy based on the Frankenstein legend. with John M alkovich playing both the creator and creation.

I The South Bank Show (Scottish) ll.5()pm—12.5()am. Profile of South African protest singer Miriam Makeba who recently returned home after 30 years ilt exile.


I World in Action (Scottish) 8—8.30pm. Investigation into racism in the police force. Bernard Manning is filmed doing racially abusive material at a police charity event. Should the comedian have been arrested or applauded?

I Deadline (Channel 4) 9—9.30pm. More behind-the-scenes drama at Yorkshire TV‘s Calendar news show, which in this programme has been hit by a technicians‘ strike.

I She’s Out (Scottish) 9—10pm. Final episode in Lynda La Plante's fascinating sequel to lVft/Ull’a‘. Will Dolly‘s robbery plan succeed?

I The Homecoming (BBCI)

9.30—1 1.05pm. When writer Alexander Solzhenitsyn retumed to Russia in 1994

after twenty years in exile. the BBC was given exclusive access to film the homecoming. The camera followed Solzhenitsyn and his family as they travelled by train along the Trans-Siberian Railway to Moscow.

I Undercover Britain (Channel .1:

9.30— lllpm. l’ndercover footage made by a Midlands man who infiltrated a local drugs gang in a brave attempt to clean up the streets. The gallg is now in jail.

I Bottom (BBCl) ‘)-—‘).3()pm. Richie and [Eddie go back to nature for a camping holiday.

I Game On (BBC) (no lupin. liinal episode of Andrew Day ies‘s puertle htlt rather entertaining sitcom about three fiatmates who. finally. end tip in bed together.

I NYPD Blue (Channel 41 to ~11) 55pm. Simone and Sipow l-_'/ investigate the brutal murder of a young woman.

I Sound on Film (BBCZ) ll.lS~.-i 1.45pm. To mark the centenary ofcinema. a series of four short lilrns explores the relationship between sound and the movies. The first film l’uxmtv'r is an emotive flamenco drama with guitarist Paco Pena.


I Africa Express (Channel 4) 8—8.3(lptll. New series of the African current affairs programme. which tonight looks at rail privatisation and Sottth Africa's mobile phone revolution.

I Wagner V Wagner (Channel 4) ‘)41()pm. lnterview with the composer's great- grandson who has spent his life reconciling the relationship between Fascism and his family's heritage. Followed by a humorous half-hour version of The Ring. See preview.

I Fist of Fun (BBCZ) 9—-‘).3()pttt. New series for Stuart Lee and Richard Herring. whose radio comedy show transfers to television. See preview.

I Peak Practice (Scottish) 9—lopm. A new trainee doctor arrives at The Beeches in this gentle medical drama starring Kevin Whately.

I OED (BBC 1) 9.30—10pm Bird's-eye view of the pigeons that populate Trafalgar Square and ntost other cities. with voice-over by Alexei Sayle.

I Bookmark (BBCZ)9.30-1030pm. Profile of Polish-American author Jerzy Kosinski who once said: ‘The only way to live your life is to define it as if it was a novel.‘ Kosinski committed suicide in I901; his widow opens tip her archive for the first time and talks candidly about her husband.

I High Hopes (Channel 4) lOpm-l2.05am. Mike Leigh‘s class satire (aren't they all?) about three couples in late-80s Britain. which goes well over the top with the caricatures but is still entertaining.

I Blackadder The Thlrd (BBC 1) 10—10.30pm. A trip to the theatre brings anarchic rumblings perilodsly close to the prince and his butler. played perfectly by Rowan Atkinson.

I Omnibus (BBCl) 10.30—1 l.30pm. Second halfof the Jean Renoir profile which looks at the filmmaker‘s experience in Hollywood during the 40s. Includes interviews with Burgess Meredith. Louis Malle and Peter Bogdanovich. plus rare archive footage of the director talking.

le l ict 7.10m