A selection or television highlights, listed by day, in chronological order. Television listings compiled by Eddie Gibb.


I Celebrity Squares (Scottish)

5. l()—5.-l()pm. And in this week's stellar line-up . . . Sandra ‘Squeaky' Dickinson. ‘comedy' duo Cannon and Ball and piece t/e I'(’.\’f.\'l(lll('(‘. Three Degrees chantoozie Sheila Ferguson. How can you resist‘.’

I The Big Country (BBC! ) 7 7.30pm. Dougie Vipond and Jenni l‘alconer go in at the deep end to bring you. the viewer. ) information on a plethora ()f dare-devil pursuits in Scotland. ' I Shine On Harvey Moon (Scottish)

8.30- ()pm. ‘Disappointment for Harvey. a blow for Maggie and an upset for Nan'. The usual hi-jinks then for the Moon family in the post-war comedy.

I Rab C. Nesbitt (BBCZ) ‘)--<().3()pm. The Nesbitt family get religion. while their neighbours get their own back for years of anti-social Nesbitt behaviour by forming a satanic coven. I The Dirty Dozen (BBC!)

l().5()pm -l.lSam. The usual tough guy suspects Marvin. firnest Borgnine. (.leorge Kennedy and Telly Savalas -- star in this wartime actioner about a group of prisoners who escape death row by volunteering for a suicidal mission in Na/i-occupied l-iance.

I Trouble In Mind (Channel 4)

11.05pm -l.|()am. Alan Rudolph assembles a motley cast- country singer Kris Kristofferson. former Kid From l’ame l.ori Singer and drag queen extraordinaire Divine to tell this noir tale of a former policeman messing with the gangster fraternity.

I A Tribute To Rory Gallagher ( BBCZ) ll.5()pni 12.40am. footage of the late blues rock guitarist from The ()lt/ (irev Whistle 'Iest circa l‘)7(). presented inevitably by hirsute Bob Harris.

I The Discreet Charm Of The Bourgeoisie (BBCB) !2.4()—2.25am. After Buriuel's surreal arty satire. meal times will never be the same again.

I Trial By Night (Scottish) 12.45-2. l()arn. ’l'rittl By Night. insomniac‘s delight. Susan Maxwell and Bernard Ponsonhy arbitrate in the country's most surreal courtroom.


I Frankenstein The College Years (BBCl) l().55:t!!!—|2.27pm. Good title. probably. terrible TV filtn.

I The Nun’s Story (BBCZ) 3.30-opnt. Audrey Hepburn radiates angelically as the dedicated nun with a mind of her own. overworking herself in the employment of the atheist Doctor l-‘ortunati (Peter Finch). I Brookside Omnibus (Channel 4) 5.05—6.3(lpm. Wall-to-wall misery and treachery you love it.

I Biddle Me This: Why Is Batman Forever? (Scottish) 5. l()——5.4()pm. A behind-the-scenes look at the making of the latest. and quite possibly the best. in the Batman series. in which Val Kilmer plays the man with the pointy mask for the first time and Jim Carrey takes over proceedings as The Riddler. a role made for him.

I Pets Win Prizes (BBC!) 5.50—6.3(lpm. Absolutely essentially viewing as pushy owners try in vain to demonstrate the intelligence of their gormless pets through a series ()f ridiculous games such as chinchilla maze-racing and duck-billed platypus [.0 tests. Now hosted by happy camper Dale Winton with resident animal expert Terry ‘Squirrel' Nutkins.

I . S «8.30pm. Part of Channel 4's celebration

I African Summer: Live Aid 10th Anniversary (BBCZ) 6—8.30pm.

‘).3()pm— l .35am. A marathon celebration of the greatest rock concert ever. showing

i footage of the show not seen since the day

it was first broadcast. and recollections of the event from the stars. punters and

backstage staff. Bob (ieldof returns to

lithiopia to see where the money went and a nation remembers what it was doing on

' that day. Personally. I was travelling back frotn a family holiday in Bournemouth

and missed most of it . . .

I Steve Wright’s People Show (BBC! )

' 7.20 Spm. A potentially hopeful line-up

of guests this week -- Kylie and Datmii Minogue seen in the satire room together for the first time ever (pantll. P.J. And Duncan (faintl). Kermit The l’rog (yo!) and [sat Xsa (labor (why?)


Man About The House (Channel 4)

of vintage Thames Television series. This

was the first ever episode of the flat- sharing comedy starring Richard ()‘Sullivan. Sally 'l‘homsett and Paula

Wilcox which spawned the dreadful spin- off (ieorge Ant! .llilt/retl. The girls wore a

3 nice line in quilted dressing gowns. ()f l immeasurable period interest. I Conan The Barbarian (Scottish)

9.45» 1 1.55pm. The fantasy adventure

: which helped catapult Arnold

Schwarzenegger to movie stardom in which he gets to ripple his biceps and wear a silly helmet. Loads better than Ret/ Sonya too.

I The Wedding Banquet (Channel 4) l().15pm—12.15am.Anglee‘s charming tale of a gay Taiwanese professional living in New York who undertakes a marriage ofconvenience to please his parents —- who then travel from Taiwan so as not to miss out on the celebrations. Cue lots of pretending his lover is his flatmate. etc.

I I Don’t Want To Be Born (BBC!) ||.25pm~ l2.55am. Never mind the quality of this horror B-movie on the same lines as It’ttsentttrv‘s Btthv just get a load of the cast. including Joan Collins. Donald Pleasance and king of horror kitsch Ralph Bates.

I Jean Michel Jarre’s Concert For Tolerance (Channel 4) l2.lS—2.25am. A recording of the electronic whizz's Bastille Day concert in Paris to celebrate the UN Year For Tolerance.

I All Junglists! A London Somet’ing Dis (Channel 4) 2.25-—2.55am. Brttsh up on your dance music parlance with this history of jungle music. starting with the tom-toms from King Kong.

I The Young Ones (BBC! ) 2.55--~1.-l()pm. Cliff Richard connoisseurs are divided on this one now that it has inescapable anarchic comedy connotations. It‘s a Brit variation on the old Mickey Rooney 'hey kids. let's do the show right here!‘ formula with some passable songs. but should in no way be considered in the same breath as the godlike Summer Unfit/(Iv.

I The Great Commanders (Channel 4 ) 7.15—8pm. More impeccable historical education from Channel 4. looking this week at the military and political skills ()f Julius Caesar.

I Walden On Attlee (BBCZ)

(HO—7. l()pm. Brian Walden offers an appraisal ()f Britain's post-war Prime Minister. painting a revisionist picture of a man who was ruthless and capable.

I Fawlty Towers (BBC!) 8—8.35ptn. It‘s the episode we've all been waiting for. The Kipper Am/ The C nrpxe. in which Basil and Manuel try to hide a dead guest until the undertakers arrive. Oh. joy.

I Mystery Of The Senses (Channel 4) 8-9pm. New series looking at the five senses. starting with smell. the scent most connected to our memory. and comparing our sense of smell with that of other animals.

I The New Map Of Africa (BBCZ)

S.5()-~ | ()pm. Continuing BBCZ‘s Africa/t Summer season with a unique televised Conference bringing together heads of state and top decision makers to discuss problems which divide Africa. such as tribal conflict and land ownership.

I Preston Front (BBC!) 9.05-9.55pm. The return of the Territorial Army-based comedy drama. Now starring the guy who does John Major's voice on Spitting Imuge.

I TV Atrilta (BBC2) l()«lOfillplll. Dipping into the televisual output of the Dark Continent where resources are limited and television stations occasionally get destroyed during civil

I Heart Of The Matter (BBC! )

l().4()—l l.l5pm. Joan Bakewell touches a raw nerve or two discussing the delicate subject of rape.

I The Jacksons: An American Dream (Scottish) 1 lpm—lZ.35am. The final part of the mini-series telling the story of America‘s first showbusiness family. which reCounts Michael’s traumatic hair- on-fire incident while filming a Pepsi commercial. That's what corporate sponsorship does for you. Mike.

I California Suite (BBC!) ll.15pm—12.55am. Classic Neil Simon comedy (but aren’t they all) following the fortunes of various sets of people who check into a Beverley Hills hotel. including an estranged husband and wife played by Alan Alda and Jane Fonda. a holidaying foursome including Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor and an linglish actress Diana Barrie who is in town as an Oscar nominee (and is played by Maggie Smith who (lid win an ()scar for her performance).


I NB (Scottish) 7—«7.30pm. Sally Gray presents a whirlwind look at arts and leisure pursuits happening all over Scotland this week.

I Secret Service (BBC!) 7.30—sptn. l-‘ly- on-the-wall consumer show goes undercover this week to trip up cowboy repairmen.

I Travels With My Camera (Channel 4) 9—10pm. fix-pat Hungarian Richard

Gollner returns to his native land to exorcise demons. visit his mother's grave and offer opinions on the new democracy. I The Colour Of Money (Scottish) 9-10pm/10.40pm—midnight. A fair attempt at recreating the gritty noir atmosphere of the world of pool sharks. despite Tom Cruise‘s presence. Hardly The Hustler but Paul Newman got the Oscar he deserved for the earlier picture. I Shopping: lifestyle (BBC2) 9.45—l0.30pm. Documentary charting the development of ‘lifestyle' shops like Habitat and The Body Shop.

I‘vfi ‘- {

I life On The line (Channel

4)] l—l 1.45pm. Two opponents of the regime in Burma uncover a catalogue of human rights abuses. ()ne of the opponents is called True Love. apparently. I Oarydd (BBCZ) ll.lS--l l.55pm. Welsh play about a young gay man‘s traumas as a rent boy in Amsterdam.


I Samurai Pi Cats (Scottish)

l().55»-l 1.25am. Whatever happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'.‘

I The Oprah Winfrey Show (Channel 4) 5-‘5.5()pm. Oprah meets clinical depressives and turns to the professionals for adviCe.

I Big Science (BBCZ) 7.30—8pm. A new series of the science show which tries to debunk the ‘boffin‘ image of science by exploring its relationship with contemporary society.

I Witness (Channel 4) 9— l()pm. Profile of Col Gadaffi’s elite Jamahiryan Guard. who are all women and represent Gadaffi‘s ideal for Libyan womanhtxxl. I Bamardo‘s Children (BBC!) ().3()—l().2()pm. Concluding the series telling the story of Doctor Barnardo‘s children's charity and the change in its ideals and objectives through the years. I Paperhouse (Channel 4 )lO—l l.40pm. Stylish British chiller about a girl who draws a house which comes to life.

I Ruby‘s llealth Guest (BBC!) l0.2()-lO.50pm. Ruby Wax meets happy carnivores and disciplined vegans as she turns her attention to food.

I Gregory’s Girl (Scottish) l().45pm—12.30am. Bill Forsyth has never bettered this brilliantly-evoked parable about the agonies of adolescent lust in Curnbernauld as class geek Gregory tries to attract the girl of his dreams. The best lines go to his philosophical friends and to Dave Anderson as Gregory’s dad.

I United States or Television (Channel 4) l l.40pm—l2.30am. Channel-hopping through America‘s 500 television stations. I The Naked And The Dead (BBC!)

l 1.40pm -l.50am. Adaptation of the Norman Mailer novel about attitudes to military authority in World War II Japan. Raymond Massey stars as the big bad general and Aldo Ray and Cliff Robertson

are the enlightened subordinates.

The List l4-27 Jul I995 77