I The Art Marathon (BBC2) 11.20—11.50pm. See Sun 19. The group travel to Edinburgh and Glasgow. visiting the Scottish Gallery of Modern Art. the Royal Scottish Academy and Tramway.


I Purcell 300 (BBC 2) 7—9pm. The Beeb’s Purcell season draws to close with a bang. A symphony orchestra. a period instrument orchestra. a contemporary music ensemble. four renowned British singers. a symphony chorus. a cathedral choir and two celebrated conductors are just part of the deal to celebrate the tercentenary of the composer's death.

I Without Walls: Unpeeled: The Roman Orgy (Channel 4) 9—9.30pm. The first in three programmes examines mythical meals that have inspired artists. Apparently the Roman orgy was not the Bacchanalian debauch of popular imagination after all. As we all know. the tradition of excess at the table was started by office Christmas parties in the 70s.

I Without Walls: My Generation: The Yardblrds (Channel 4) 9.30—10pm. if they reformed now. The Yardbirds would undoubtedly be the world’s greatest. not to mention the most wealthy. supergroup. Eyes peeled for pre-wrinkle varieties of Clapton. Page and Beck.

' ’3.

I Naked (Channel 4) lOpm—l2.30am. David Thewlis stars as one of the most rotten and disaffected bastards to make it onto the screen in recent years. This is the TV premiere of Mike Leigh's gritty tragi- comedy. Set in London in the early 90s. Naked is. at times. very uncomfortable to watch yet it is consistently compelling thanks to a gripping performance from Thewlis.


I Chart Bite (Scottish) 6.55—7.20pm. Mari Steven and Ewan MacLeod present the star interviews and tracks from the Scottish charts.

I Champions league live (Scottish) 7.20—9.30pm. Rangers play Steaua Bucharest at lbrox. They need to win this. their fifth match in the UEFA Champions League. to be in with a chance of qualifying for the quarter-final stages.

I Modern Times: Man Seeks Woman (BBC 2) 9—9.50pm. This programme follows the mad. the sad and the formerly bad as three blokes apply to lonely hearts ads and join dating agencies in the quest for the perfect woman. While the three real-life characters sound like sit-corn stereotypes (the stud. the man with the arrested emotional development and the new man with the dodgy past) the overall impression is one of rather desperate loneliness and vulnerability.

I My Secret lite: A Priest’s Tale (BBC 2) 9.50—10pm. Stephen has been a Catholic priest for fifteen years and has also been an active gay man for most of that time. In this short and candid documentary he tries to reconcile his sexuality with the satisfaction and the guilt he feels in doing his job.


I Sophie’s Meat Course (Channel 4) 8.30-9pm. In the second of this series of six. Sophie Grigson and master butcher Graham Portwine take a long. hard look at poultry. They start with the basics such as E boning your bird before moving on to the j more complex fowl recipes such as breast i ofduck in plum sauces. Fortunately. the programme is broadcast sufficiently soon after dinner to avoid the induction of major hunger pangs.

I The Young Ones: Flood (BBC 2) 9.30—10pm. Thirteen years on itjust doesn’t seem as funny as first time around but we'd better include it for the students (steady. anti-patronisation. lid).

I Doctors in the Dock: Kidneys for Sale (BBC 2)|0-l().30pm. Doctors hold a position oftrust in society so it comes as a bit of a shock to the ethics immune systemj when they start flogging the organs of poor people to rich people. Two doctors who were implicated in such a scam now have the chance to give their side of the argument. As ever. the moral issues are not as cut and dried as they first appear. I Redcaps: Blood, Beer and Tears (BBC 1) 10.20—10.50pm. The public's fascination with the grimrner side of the services continues. This episode of the documentary finds the wannabe military police being horrifically glassed in a bar. allegedly by a gang ofcivvies. Corporal Home has to make it to the medical centre 5 while literally holding his face on. Voyeur TV at its best. or worst. depending on your viewpoint. t

FRIDAY 24 ~ .

I Children in lleed (BBC 1) 7pm—2am. A night of appalling viewing is guaranteed with a large number of sit—com and chat show stars swanning about the screen thus i providing a moving target to throw , peanuts at. Still. it‘s all in a good cause i and it will fall into the ‘so bad that it‘s good' category.

I Dressing For Breakfast (Channel 4) 9—9.30pm. New series that extends C4's comedy slot to practically all of Friday 1 night. See preview. 5 I Rising Damp: The Good Samaritans (Channel 4) 9.30—10pm. The inimitable Leonard Rossiter mopes across our screens again as the perpetually miserable Rigsby. There are few things more funny than a character with a face like Eeyore deprived of thistles.

I Coogan’s Run: Dearth ot a Salesman (BBC 2) 9.30-10pm. Coogan returns with another cringe-inducing character: Gareth Cheeseman. an impossibly ambitious and incompetent salesman.

I Eurotrash - The World Tour (Channel

' 4) 11.30pm—midnight. The tacky twosome

trawl Japan to find a restaurant that specialises in serving animal genitals as an aphrodisiac and a weather girl who gives the forecast wearing a metal bikini and bunny ears. And you thought that your neighbours were weird.


I Banana Boat (Channel 4) 4.05—5.05pm. Broadcaster and author Nigel Farrell sets off on an 8000 mile round-trip from South Wales to the Caribbean in the company of eleven other passengers and a cargo of fiteen million bananas. This comes under the heading of “travel' rather than “hohdaysK

I Tx.: The Final Kick (BBC 2) 8.05—8.55pm. On July 17. 1994. two billion people watched the World Cup final between Brazil and ltaly. Producer Andreas Rogenhagen had the bright idea of packing off 40 directors with camera crews to 40 different countries to record viewers’ reactions. Thus we are treated to the view from a harem in Cameroon. a prison in Minsk. a reindeer farm in Lapland. thejubilation of the Brazilians

I The Last Europeans: Crossing

three-part series Hugo Young examines

. McAnally head tip the cast ofdirector

' and slavery in 18th century South

into the financial affairs of the world's most successful pop group.

and the somewhat less ecstatic. though equally demonstrative. reactions of the Italian viewers.

I Personal Services (Scottish) lO.30pm—-l2.25am. Julie Walters plays the role of the madame in this comedy based loosely on the life of Cynthia Payne.

I The Big Snog (Channel 4)

10.45pm—l2. l5am. World AIDS Week kicks off to a sticky start with a concert-

3 cum-comedy charity bash from London's

Astoria Theatre featuring Suggs. Jenny

; Eclair. Eddie lzzard. Mariella Frostrup : and countless others. Viewers can also

thrill to the world premiere of a new safe sex quiz entitled “A Question of Spurt'. You have been warned.

A SUNDAY 26 ' ,

I Rawhide: A Gentleman’s Gentleman

(Channel 4) ll.lSam—12.15pm. Apparently. an English valet whose master has been killed by buffalo hunters

joins the trail drive and insists that he

becomes Gil's servant. in an improbable

'_ and thoroughly Americanised view of the

English class system. I A Rose Through Nature (BBC 1)

: 4.50-5.20pm. Vic and Bob take a scratch - 'n' sniff tour through nature's more

whiffy aspects.

. I The Beatles Anthology (Scottish)

8-9pm. Six part documentary on the moptops. See feature.


Channels (Channel 4) 9—10pm. In this

the 50-year history of Britain‘s antipathy towards European integration. Amazing how. when faced with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. our little group of islands still believed that we were a major world player and exhibited the sheer arrogance to disregard the continent until it was too late.

I The Mission (BBC 2) lOpm-midnight. Bob De Niro. Jeremy “No emotions please. we're English' irons and Ray

Roland Joffe's tale of evangelical fervour America. Some superb set pieces backed

up with linnio Mon‘icone's score make this a stuning filtn.

I Horizon: A Code In the Bose (BBC 2) 8—8.5()pm. We still don't know how our sense of smell really works nor what determines the scent of something. British bio-physicist Luca Turin has made a significant breakthrough in the field and the results could be revolutionary.

I All You Need is Cash (Channel 4) ill—11.05pm. This year The Beatles are expected to make over $100 million. A tidy top-up to anyone's pension fund. While they were never short of a bob or two. they didn‘t make all the loot they could have when they were in their heyday. This documentary takes a look

f I Secret Lives: Marie Stopes (Channel 4)

I In Your Face: Irvine Welsh - Condemn More, Understand less (BBC 2)

ll. l5-l 1.55pm. Edinburgh’s most infamous son and his works are profiled through dramatic imagery from his books and documentary images from the schemes. drug culture. Casual violence and raves.


I Grand Designs: The Limit: Trickiest Tunnel (BBC 2) 8--8.3()pm. Hugh Dolterty has spent a lot of time underground. building tunnels under both the Clyde and Hong Kong. He now has the unenviable task of engineering the jubilee Line Extension under sotne of the most expensive property in the world. Problems abound.

I Without Walls: The Turner Prize (Channel 4) ‘)—i()pm. Britain‘s most

: prestigious visual art award is announced after a profile of each of the four short-

listed artists.


i I The Real Holiday Show (Channel .1) 8.30—9pm. Gaby Roslin presents more real life holiday videos shot by the holidaymakers. The usual mixture of the

i touching. the mundane and the crass is

; guaranteed.

I Paul Daniels’ Secrets (BBC 1) 8—8.5()pm. Daniels introduces more guests with unusual talents such as the man in his 70s who fires a crossbow bolt at his wife‘s head. shooting over his shoulder while blindfolded. Obviously hasn't heard of

William Burroughs.

I Slice of Life: Aspic and Aspirations (BBC 2) 10—10.3()pm. With the end of rationing. Britain‘s cooks threw caution to the convector oven and -- shock! horror! started using herbs. Fascinating for the underlying

social commentary on a time when a woman‘s place was in the kitchen.


I Scottish Books Awards (Scottish) 9—10pm. Janice Forsyth announces the winners of the Saltire Literary Awards and The McVitie Writer of the Year from Glasgow City Chambers

9—l()pm. I)r Slopes has a reputation as a pioneer in the field ofcontraception in Britain. Her book .lfurrit't/ /.()l‘(' was hailed as revolutionary when it was

_ published in l‘)l8. The first sex manual to ' be openly available in Britain. it shed light

on an area of human behaviour which was previously swept under the carpet.

Curiously. when she wrote the book. at

the age of 37. Slopes was still a virgin despite being married. This programme questions her motives. which seem not to be as altruistic as history has portrayed.

I Bedcaps: One Of Our Tables Is Missing

(BBC 1) 1030—1 1pm. The Ml’s are somewhat disgruntled to discover that

someone has nicked whole barracks of

furniture. items from an army hospital and half a fire station.