I The Real Holiday Show (Channel 4) 8.30—9pm. The warts 'n' all documentary follows a couple backpacking around lndia's toilets after a case of botulism; a lesbian couple from Glasgow who spend a week in a caravan outside the toilet block of their campsite in the south of France and a couple of natural healing therapists who go to a Country and Westem week in Prestatyn. North Wales. Three very good reasons to spend your hols at home in front of the box.
I Modern Times: lido (BBC 2) 9—9.50pm. inner city London is sweltering in the oppressive summer heat. The options are stay in bed. stay inside or head to the Brockwell Park Lido. strip off. catch some rays and swim a few lengths of the outdoor pool. No contest. Senior civil servants rub shoulders with single mums. languid young men and every other urban species imaginable. Red letter day for people watchers.
I Queen Live At Wembley (Channel 4) 10.55pm—12.30am. Recorded in 1986. this film shows Queen at their enormodome peak. All the old faves get an airing.
I Vanessa: I’m A Vampire (Scottish) 12.40-1. lOam. ‘Vanessa Feltz and her studio audience tackle more real-life issues'. it says here. Like ‘l'm A Vampire"? A likely story.
I Secret Lives: Baden-Powell (Channel 4) 9—lOpm. Thanks to the efforts of Baden-Powell there are now over 25 million scouts in the world. No other youth organisation comes near it in terms of size. Only the Bible. the Koran and The Thoughts of Chairman Mao can boast higher sales. The movement‘s founder liked to portray himself as a fun-loving ex-soldier. a contradiction in terms ifever there was one. This programme examines the man's fears and obsessions. his confused sexuality and the latent sadism revealed in his diaries and letters. Dib dib dob. indeed.
I Unlawful Entry (Scottish) 9-l l.40pm. Ray Liotta stars as an LA cop who becomes obsessed with a couple and proceeds to terrorise them. Liotta‘s performance is genuinely chilling and there are enough sudden surprises to keep those of a nervous disposition behind the sofa.
I Hedcaps: Indecent Assault (BBC 1) 10.20—10.50pm. In 1992 women were integrated into men’s units in the army. Last year the number of rapes. attempted ropes and indecent assaults that were reported in the military. totalled 183. The Redcaps. the Royal Military Police. have the unpleasant task of keeping discipline within the ranks.
I Apache Goes Indian (Channel 4) 12.05—12.35am. Ragga man Apache Indian continues his exploration of Bombay with a grim look at the miserable lives of the 70,000 sex workers in the city’s red light zone.
I A Taste of Africa (Channel 4) 8—8.30pm. Dorinda Hafner visits her home country of Ghana in the final episode of her gastronomic. social and political tour of Africa. Okra stew. palm wine. gin and speciality mushrooms all make an appearance as does Kumasi. the centre of the Ashanti culture. The Ashantis are a matriarchal society and the women now control the marketplace.
I Wildlife (in One: Tiger at the Highlands (BBC 1) 8-8.30pm. Scotland boasts its very own Beast of Bodmin Moor but ours is real. in the Highlands of Scotland there are some big cats roaming about. not escaped pumas or domestic animals gone wild but native Scottish Wildcats. This is unique footage of the animals in their natural setting — footage so rare that for behavioural scientists it is their only chance to study the elusive beasts. David Attenborough narrates.
I Fighting Justice (Scottish) 10.35—12.35am. Crime thriller starring James Woods. Robert Downey Jr and Margaret Colin. A New York lawyer. whose reputation is somewhat tarnished. to say the least. has the chance to redeem himself. As you might suspect all is not what it seems and complications. inevitably. ensue.
I Red, Hot and Country Grammy award- winner Kathy Mattea brings together top artists to explore the roots of country music in a concert in Nashville which highlights the talents of Nanci Griffiths. The Mavericks. Waylon Jennings. Billy Ray Cyrus, Duane Eddy and Stuart Duncan.
I Sherlock Holmes in the House of Fear (Channel 4) 2.20—3.35am. Basil Rathbone plays Holmes and Nigel Bruce takes on the role of Watson. it's on late and the actual plot is irrelevant — the glorious sight of Rathbone's huge conk makes it all worth while.
I Jack Dee’s Saturday Hight (Scottish) 9—9.45pm. Britain‘s leading cynical. deadpan comedian doing a relatively early Saturday night slot on Scottish? What the hell is going on? See feature.
I REM: Rough Out (Channel 4) ll.l5—l2.35am. This year REM undertook a gruelling world tour. Anyone who bought a ticket for any of their UK shows knowsjust how touch and go the entire operation was. This camera crew followed them as they prepared to play the globe's enormodomes. The band explain why they had to go out and buy an
REM songbook. how they maintain 7 family life when on the road for months at
a time and the programme also includes exclusive live footage of the band in action.
I Raging Bull (BBC 2) ll.45pm—i.55am. The inimitable Robert De Niro has his talents directed by the eagle-eyed Martin Scorsese. if you haven‘t seen it yet then now is the chance to see one of the best movies about boxing. ambition and failure.
I Late licence: Beat Specials (Channel 4) 2.30—3.30am. One for the hip-hop heads with sounds from Michael Frente's Spearhead and the extremely downbeat Tricky.
I Human Rights, Human Wrongs (BBC 2) 3.15—4.25pm. Today is international Human Rights Day and the Beeb is marking the event with a week-long series of ten-minute programmes which reﬂect on various aspects of human rights throughout the world.
I Equinox: Designing Dream Machines (Channel 4) 7—8pm. Clever design can induce the desire to purchase an object for which the consumer has no possible use. Equinox filmed top British design company Seymour and Powell as they develop revolutionary new ideas and share a few tricks of the trade.
I An Evening With Sir Peter Ustlnov: SOIO (BBC 1) 10. lS—l lpm. The man with fingers in more pics than most of us have ever contemplated eating shares his early life with an audience at the Royal Alexandra Theatre in Toronto. Expect wit. warmth and swag bags full of sparkling anecdotes.
I The Strike (Channel 4) 10—1 1.15pm. Classic Comic Strip episode in which a struggling script writer persuades a Hollywood mogul played by Robbie Coltrane to create a movie based around the 80s miners‘ strike starring Al Pacino as Arthur Scargill and Meryl Streep as Mrs Scargill. The usual Comic Strip team shine as the boys from the black stuff meet the glitter of Hollywood.
I Without Walls: Ghost Stories (Channel 4) 9.30—10pm. Ever read an autobiography by someone who has led a fascinating life but barely seems able to mumble a sentence. never mind produce sparkling prose? Chances are that they‘ve been written with a ghost-writer. This programme examines the lives of ghost- writers and their experiences with their bosses-cum-subjects.
I My Crazy Lite/Mi Vida Loca (Channel 4) IO—i 1.45pm. The director of the award-winning film Gus F and Lodging explores the brutal world of girl gangs in Los Angeles. Their men are often dead or incarcerated by the time they reach twenty leaving the women to form a tough identity for themselves within their gangs.
I Modern Times: The Partners (BBC 2) 9-9.50pm. The cameras go behind the scenes at John Lewis Partnership. Some see the company as a model of fair working practices. others are less enthusiastic. Fascinating for the minutiae such as each shop's Dog Log which records the number. amount and consistency of each dog turd dropped
lied, Hot and Coontry: John Hiatt raises AIDS most: with III: geetar
around the shop in the course of the working day. 1 kid you not.
I 85581 (Scottish) 9.10pm—l2.iOam. Star vehicle for Warren Beatty as Bugsy Siegal. The view of the gangster is somewhat romanticised but Beatty manages to look as menacing as need be when called upon.
I The Betrayed (Channel 4) llpm-l2.35am. This prize-winning True Stories documentary follows a group of Russian mothers hunting for their disappeared soldier sons in Chechnia. The authorities want nothing to do with them and they must make their own way in a war-tom land. A sad and moving piece of film.
I Public Eye: The Poster Plague (BBC 2) 8-8.30pm. Flyposting. Eye-catching or eyesore? Eye investigates.
I Paclilc Height: (Scottish) 9-—l 1.35pm. Michael Keaton stars as a psychotic lodger who makes Melanie Griffiths and Matthew Modine’s life a living hell. Some genuinely creepy moments make this a mid-week spine-tingler to watch.
I Secret Lives: w W (Channel 4) 9-lOpm. The American tycoon, aviation pioneer and Hollywood film producer had some rather interesting obsessions. habits and pecadilloes. He was a millionaire yet died isolated and in unbelievable self-imposed squalor. This programme attempts to get under the grimy skin of a man who tried to bribe presidents.
I Apache Goes Indian (Channel 4)
i 1.45pm-l2. 15am. Ragga star Apache lndian continues his tour of Bombay and meets some self-ﬂagellating yogi. snake charmers. jugglers and sword swallowers. Now, if one performer could do all that at once then it really would be impressive.