A selection or television highlights, listed by day, in chronological order. Television listings compiled by Jonathan rm


I The New Avengers (BBC 2) 6.25—7.15pm. The classic spy spoof rumbles on. Steed returns home to find his treasured possessions smashed and his Bentley blown up. Naturally he is somewhat annoyed and sets out to avenge his motor.

I Sounds or The Eighties (BBC 2 ) 7.30—8pm. American funk sounds and black American soul singers demonstrate why they make such an impact on the British charts. Acts include Whitney Houston. Sade. K00] and the Gang. the Pointer Sisters. Grace Jones anti Bobby Womack.

I Paul Merton In oalton Anti Simpson’s Tvrelve Angry Men (Scottish) 8.30—9pm. Merton puts his own spin on the role made famous by the similarly dry-wilted Tony Hancock.

I Bah c. lieshitt: Pie (BBC 2) 9—9.30pm. At long last. cultural icon and professional semmit wearer Rab gets around to tackling that landmark iii the Scottish culinary tradition: the mince pie. Rab reckons he has found his vocation as a pie seller until he tries flogging his wares on the local heavies‘ turf. lnevitably. the gutters proceed to run with mince.

I Bising Damp (Channel 4) 9.30—10pm. A young couple foolishly rent from Rigsby who. despite his best intentions. proceeds to make their stay intolerable in his own sweet manner.

I 999 Special: The lonely Walk (BBC 1 ) 9.30-10.25ptli. An hour-long special on the brave boys of the Bomb Disposal Team. this episode follows the men with the steadiest hands in Britain as they defuse a 1000|b bomb in a gas holder in London. The bomb is a throwback to the war and has the power to wipe out most life in its vicinity.

I Alive (BBC 1) l().25pm—12.25am. Ethan Hawke and Vincent Spano lead the cast in this Frank Marshall-directed true story. In 1972 a plane crashed ill the Andes while carrying a rugby team. With the rescue search abandoned and supplies on the short side the survivors are faced with a dilemma: eat your dead pals or die. A genuinely gripping movie although you might like to think twice before biting your nails.

I Jo Brand Through The Cakehole (Channel 4) 10.30—11.05pm. More musing on fat and fags.

I The Girlie Show (Channel 4)

1105—] 1.55pm. First in a ten-part series which looks as though it may attempt to redress the flood of ladtiish culture with a dam of babes with brains. Slots include an award for the ‘Wanker ()f The Week‘. ‘Toilet Talk‘ and ‘Readers‘ Husbands‘. The stiletto is on the other foot. it would

I Beavis And Butthead (Channel 4 )

l 1.55pm—12.25am. The antithesis of good taste and sophisticated wit stalks our screens once tnore. Thankfully.


I Divine Magic: Magic or The Mummies (Channel 4) 8—9pm. This intriguing series which looks at belief systems throughout the world and throughout history turns its attention to the Ancient Egyptians. Top Egyptologist Bob Brier shows how magic permeated every aspect of life and then goes on to give a demonstration of the mummification of human cadavers.

I The Trial (BBC 2) 8.05-9pm. George More. the Edinburgh defence solicitor they call the last hope of generations of Edinburgh criminals. is featured in this groundbreaking programme which created a precedent by showing real trials on TV. I Knowing Me, Knowing You (BBC 2) 9—9.30pm. Alan Partritlge's unique style ofchat gets a repeat run.

I Peter York’s Eighties: Plutocrats (BBC 2) 9.30—10pm. The self-appointed style guru looks back over the decade when business people acquired celebrity status. I Something Wild (BBC 2) 10—1 1.55pm. Melanie Griffith stars as Lulu Hankel. a somewhat unconventional woman who picks up straight-laced New York stock market dealer Charlie Driggs. played by Jeff Daniels. Poor Driggs isn't quite prepared for the life of the bohemian especially when it involves running into Hankel's ex-con husband played by Ray Liotta.

I Eurotrash (Channel 4) 1035—1 1.10pm. Jean-Paul Gaultier and Antoine de Cannes continue to poke their fingers into Europe's underbelly. This week they examine the dubious delights of cyber-sex via an interactive sex-suit. And they do that for work. Makes you wonder what they get up to in their spare time.

I The White Room (Channel 4) ll.l()pm—12. 10am. Mark Radcliffe gives us the delights of The Smashing Pumpkins. The Pretenders and the newly revitalised Lush.

I The lieadpool (Scottish) ll.25pm—l.05am. Clint Eastwood anti Liam Neeson star in this tense cop movie. Someone is bumping off the cast of a movie. Fortunately for the survivors. Clint is called in to lend a helping Magnum.

I llotel Babylon (Scottish) 1.05—1.45am. More youth-orientated chat. music and celebrity guests from a programme that has recently been attracting a lot of attention for the tnost unsavoury reasons. I Baadass TV (Channel 4) 2.20—2.50am. Ice-T and Andrea Oliver introduce the bizarrely named Juicy Lucy and her improbable Ragaerobics learn. agony uncle Barry White and American shock jock. Ken Hamblin.

I Big Girls Blouse (Channel 4)

2.50—3. 15am. Australia’s top three women comedians. Magda Szubanski. Jane Turner and Gina Riley. crack the gags on the oft worn subjects of drinking and smoking and the less well-used subject of shoeshops.


I The Big Trip (BBC 2) 6.45—7.30pm. Our intrepid travellers continue their journeys getting to the River Kwai. a cowboy ranch in Guyana and a mountain range in Spain.

I Timewatch: Drake’s Last Voyage (BBC 2) 7.30—8.20pm. The popular history programme re-evaluates the status of one of England's most enduring icons. Apparently. at the time. he wasn‘t thought of as a national hero at all. More of a bounder. A certain Sir Martin Frobisher even went so far as to say that he would personally murder him.

I Wired World (Channel 4) 8—8.30pm. Self-confessed media junkie Peter Curran gets his fix by looking at the role the police play ii‘ creating TV police dramas and examining the effect that racy TV soap operas are having on the place of women in Indian society.

I A Mug’s Game (BBC 1 ) 9.05—10pm. A four-part story starring Ken Stott set on a fish farm on the West Coast. See feature. I Ruby Wait Meets . . . lmelda Marcos (BBC l) 10— 10.30pm. The shameless wax meets the tmblushing Marcos ill the first programme of this series which confronts the rich. the famous and the infamous with Wax‘s blunt questioning.

I Everyman: The Miracle Channel (BBC 1) i030 11.20pm. The thinking man‘s God slot examines the spread of fundamentalist. evangelical satellite

channels in liurope. Church leaders and

religions broadcasters say that the channels reflect a very partial view of Christianity. preaching hell-fire for sinners anti material prosperity for believers.

I Pyjama Party (Scottish) 12.45~2.2()am. The irrepressible Katie Puckrick hosts more chat and girlie gossip.


I Screaming Reels (Channel 4) 3—8.3(lptll. .»'\pparentl_v it's possible to earn buckets of dosh in angling competitions. This programme reveals the tricks. rttses and cheating techniques which less than scrupulous competitors will use to land a big prize.

I The Paranormal World Of Paul McKenna (Scottish) 8.3()-~‘)pm. More strange and amazing feats of incredible endurance. sleight-of-hantl. psychic weirdness and mind-blowing strangeness.

I Cutting Edge: Whistleblowers (Channel .) ‘)-- 10pm. The public~spirited people vho tell the wider world about ualpractices within their workplaces often iiitl that their superiors are less than tleasetl with their efforts. Retribution cart tut the whistleblowers' jobs. health and ven lives at risk.

I Our Friends In The North (BBC 2) 9—10. 10pm. The Geordie saga of family life. loves and bitter disappointments spanning four decades continues.

I Panorama (BBC l)\).3o-l(). 10pm. As the Government continues to systematically tear apart the Welfare

State. Panorama investigates whether or not the alternative. private insurance. is at all viable. Their findings make grim viewing for all bttt the wealthiest.

I House Of Cards (Channel 4)

ltipm— l 2.05am. Kathleen Turner stars as the mother of a child who is diagnosed as autistic by Tommy Lee Jones playing the role of a child specialist. As the child‘s remarkable skills develop. a battle develops between the mother and the doctor.


I The Montei Williams Show (Channel 4) 5—5.50pm. Yet another TV confessional/audience participation show. Today's show looks at people who use the old ‘we live so far apart' excuse to have two lovers. Montel helpfully introduces two unsuspecting love rivals to one another.

I Consenting Adults (Scottish)

‘)—l l.35pm. Hooray! Scum-sucking New York yuppies get their deserved come- uppance after a bout of wife-swapping atitl greed.

I Men Behaving Badly (BBC l) ().3()—l()ptii. Tony anti Gary continue to give lessons in how to be a New Lad.

I The House (BBC 2) ‘).3()—l().2()pm. The behind-the-scenes look at the shenanigans at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden stamps its way frotn tantrum to pique and back again via crisis. One hour before the curtain is due to go upon the'l'lit' .vi/Iarriagt' ()j'l’igam the Count has lost his voice. A shit/fart interface is looking probable.

I The X-FilestBBC l) l()—l().4()pm. tiBl Special Agents Fox Mulder anti Dana Scully get bound tip in more spooky goings-on. This titne there is evidence to suggest that a poltergeist is luring young children to grisly deaths.

I Charthite (Scottish) 5. l()--5.4()pm. More movers and shakers in the Scottish music charts as presented by two of the least pretentious bods on the box.

I Video Nation: State or Play (BBC 2) 7—7.50pm. The Beeb's mass observation project looks at how Britons like to spend their leisure time. As always it‘s a man's world with very few women seeming to have enough time to take up a hobby or sport. Of course anyone watching this will already be indulging in the nation's favourite sport ofchannel surfing.

I Hollywood Men (Scottish) 9— 10pm. Further tales of the vain and the over paid. I Under The Sun: Painted Babies (BBC 2) 9.30—1().20pm. ()nce more the good ()I' US of A. triumphs in the obscenity stakes. Beauty pageants for kids with prizes of up to 825.000 attract hundreds of competitors whose parents spend thousands of dollars buying their kids makeup. hair extensions and vastly expensive dresses. ()ne supposes that the therapy sessions later on in life to get over the trauma must cost considerably more. I er (Channel 4) l()—l().55pm. More blood. guts and gore iii the fast moving hospital drama series. This week an insurance scam goes wrong when the surgeons manage to re-attach a limb. Most people would just pretend to have had their camera stolen or something. Hacking off a limb to pull one over on the man from the Pru seems a little extreme.

I Moviewatch (Channel 4)

l i.30pm—l2.05am. The films covered include The Father Off/w Brit/t’ I]. Luv illisérahlt's anti Spike Lee's (flue/terns: Meanwhile. Johnny Vaughan has been gadding off to Madrid to look behind the scenes of the weirdest horror film ever.

I The Best or Aycltroyd, Belushi And Chase (Channel 4) l2.05—l.lOam. More selected sketches from America's top- rated Saturday Night [.1 l'(‘ show. This show focuses on the tall. ganeg one: Dan Ayckroyd.

74 The List 26 Jan-8 Feb I996