A selection of television highlights, listed by day, in chronological order. Television listings compiled by Jonathan Trevv.


I Sounds Of The Eighties (BBC 2) 7.3()--8pm. Post-punk otttfits rear their weary heads in the form of REM. licho And The Bunny Men. The Cure and The Smiths.

I Paul Merton In Galton And Simpson’s. . . The Missing Page (Scottish) s..‘~()— ‘lpm. Merton reads a whodtmnit novel and finds that sortie catl has ripped out the final page. He dons his deerstalker and starts slettthing around the library.

I Rising Damp (Chalmel 4) 9.30 —I()pni. A sceptical bttt scared Rigsby finds himself drawn ilito the world of the occult when his new tenant claims to be a mystic. I Red Dwarf (BBC 2) ‘).3()--l()pm. Repeat run for the ctilt space crew.

I Coming To America (BBC l I

‘).3(l-<l [l()pm. Eddie Murphy stars as the heir to a wealthy African state sent to America by his lather to sow his wild oats before settling down to an arranged marriage. It will come as no surprise that true love intervenes.

I Fist Of Fun (BBC 2) l() (0.30pm. More off-killer and occasionally laddish humour from and herring.

I The Mark Thomas Comedy Product (Channel -I) |().3()--l l.()5pm. ()nce described as an ‘iconoclastic I)t)()ll)t)y". the stand-up comedian gets his own TV show. To ensure topicality all the shows ill the series are recorded in a pub the night before they are screened. The starting point for tonight is the subject of media manipulation which means trying to sell an exclusive to a Sun editor that relies on the fact that peanuts are potentially more dangerous than Ecstasy.

I The Fourth Protocol (Scottish) l().3()pn)-l2.40am. Michael (‘aine and Pierce Brosnan square tip to one another in this Frederick Forsyth spy caper which has lost much of its bite ill the aftermath of the Cold War.

I The Smell 0t Reeves And Mortimer (BBC 2) ll.I5 -l l.-ISpm. \"ic and Bob discover a magic carpet it) this repeat programme which also features Slade. God bless 'em.

I Later Presents Paul Weller In Concert (BBC 2) I l.5()pm-—l2.5()am. The man who has made the most successful and possibly credible come-back to date gives a special concert of material from Stun/e)“ Road. past solo albums atld :lassic tracks from his early career.


I Hidden Kingdoms: The Painter And The Fighter (Channel 4) 8—9pm. In the first of this series of twelve documentaries. the Anglia Television natural history ttnit turns its attentions on the Surma tribe living in south west Ethiopia. The tribe‘s way of life is almost completely unaffected by the 20th century and this film could well be the last testament of their pastoral existence before everything changes beyond recognition.

I Opera At The Kirov: Buslan And lyudmila (BBC 2) 8.05 ‘l l.35pm. Glinka's opera ts given an airing at the Mariinsky Theatre in St Petersburg.

I An Evening With Spike Milligan (SCottish) 9— l()pm. The comic genius and former Goon entertains a star-studded audience. taking questions froin Sir Harry Secombe. Peter O‘Toole. Roy Iludd and Denis Nortlen among others. Spike sings his own songs. reads his own poetry arid recalls his own part in I-litler's downfall.

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Pauline uulrke steps up a size or elght tor The Sculptress on Sat 24

I lied Heat (Scottish) l()—l l.55pm. Schwar/enegger and James Belushi rub each other up the wrong way in this spy/buddy movie.

I The Sculptress (BBC I) 9. l 5—|().()5pm. First of a four-part series about a double murderess given a life sentence after pleading guilty to killing and dismembering her mother and sister. The murderess is played by Pauline Quirke. perhaps best known for her role as Sharon in Bin/x ()f/l I-‘t'ulllt'r.

I Total And Utter Relief: Ten Years Of Comic Relief (BBC l) l0.05—l().35pm. The usual host of stars line up to celebrate ten years of raising money for charity in this. the first programme of a series looking back at a decade of Comic Relief.

I The White Room (Channel 4) ll.I()pm—12. l()am. This is a line-up made in heaven if ever there was one: Iggy Pop. Nick Cave and PJ Harvey fortn the ultimate wild bunch.

I Mairi MhortBBC 2) ll.35pm—IZ.35am. Written by JoIm McGrath. directed by Douglas Eadie and shot mainly on Skye. this film details the story of Mary h'lcl’herson. the great l()th century songwriter who was wrongly imprisoned for theft in l820.

I The Trouble With Men (BBC 2)

9‘ 9.40am. This programme. asking why men die younger than women. kicks off a series looking at men's health or the lack thereof.

I Board Stupid (Channel 4) l.l5~l.45pm. The speed stars of snowboarding come to l.eysin for the biggest slalom competition of the year so far.

I The Big Trip (BBC 2) 6.45—7.30pm. More intrepid travellers investigate the world's largest cave system in the Malaysian state of Sarawak. stay with a tribe of former headhunters and buy love potions in Senegal.

I Beverley Hills Cop II (Scottish) 6.50—8.45pm. Axel Foley. played by the exuberant Eddie Murphy. swings into action again.

I The Shark Shocker (Channel 4) 7-8pm. For the last two decades. Ron and Valerie Taylor have lived on the frontier of underwater exploration. filming shark frenzies and befriending hammerhead sharks. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water . . .

I Ballykissangel (BBC l) 7.30—8.20pm. More witty shenanigans and dilemmas to be solved for the priest just arrived in the Irish countryside.

I My Generation: The Kinks (Chatmel 4) 8.30—9pm. The R 'n' B based sounds of Ray Davies and cohorts set the country swinging at the time and have since influenced generations of songwriters from The Jam to Blur. This programme looks at the rise and fall and rise again of one of Britain's most influential songmeisters.

I Peter’s Friends (Channel 4) ‘)—l().55pm. A sensitive re-make of T/lt’ Big Chill or a chance for a bunch of luvvies step forward Branagh. Thompson. Fry. Laurie e! (l/ -— to indulge themselves in a limp attempt at a Merchant Ivory feel? The jury is still out. I The Sculptress (BBC 1) 9.05—9.55pm. The plot thickens in the second part of this two part drama. See Sat 24.

I The Trouble With Men (BBC 2) 9.40—9.50pm. As part of the ‘Trouble With Men' series. this is the first ofsix ten-minute programmes looking at different aspects of male health. How to detect testicular cancer is tonight‘s subject.

I Iluby Wax Meets . . . Goldie Hawn (BBC 1) 9.55—l().25pm. Goldie takes Ruby to the gym. much to Ruby‘s horror. I Cracker: To Be Somebody (Scottish ) IO—I lpm. Repeat showing for the flawed criminal psychologist.

I Wanted: Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid (Channel 4) 10.55pm—1230am. The outlawed duo sped off to Bolivia where they died in a hail of bullets. Didn’t they? Dr Clyde Snow. a man who earns a living from tracking missing people from their bones. attempts to uncover a different reality.

I Pyjama Party (Scottish) Midnight—lam. Katie Puckrick blethers to footballer and hunk. Phil Babb.


I Classic Ships (Channel 4) 8.30—9pm. Harking back to the romantic era of the great trading ships which used to service

the Empire. this programme includes some archive footage from 1929 which follows the crew of the Grace llarwar as it traverses Cape Horn.

I Kavanagh (1C (Scottish) BSD—l()pm. A new series about James Kavanagh QC. husband. father and one of Britain's leading advocates. Ill this episode. he is told conflicting stories by a man and his girlfriend about the murder of a neo- fascist.

I Island Dt Dreams (Channel 4) ‘)—l()pm. The concluding programme of the series examining the lives of three real life Shirley Valentines looks to the future.

I Our Friends In The North (BBC 2) 9—H). l()pm. More troubles in Newcastle and London as the miners' strike raises temperatures.

I Ex-S (BBC I) It). l()»- l().4()pm. In a programme entitled ‘Crack From The Pavement'. the Scottish arts show examines what the future holds for Big Issue vendors as the number of homeless people increases.

I Scottish Women (Scottish)

l0.30-l l.3()pm. Kaye Adams and her all- female audience discuss some dilemmas. Should you countenance cosmetic surgery as a weapon against the signs of ageing? Should you stay with your loved one if you find him wearing your underwear?


I Esther: Meet The Baddies (BBC 2) 5—5.30pm. Rantzen gives a hostile audience the chance to get their claws into the Daily Mail '5‘ theatre critic. Jack Tinker. a traffic warden and outspoken Labour MP Tony Banks.

I Public Eye: Pay Now, Die Later (BBC 2) 8—8.30pm. Art American funeral service giant has been buying up British funeral firms and deploying an array of modern marketing tactics which could up the spend on funerals.

I Food And Drink (BBC 2) 8.30—9pm. The programme heads to the West Country to look at cider-brandy making. wild boar rearing and a special cloth- bountl cheddar cheese before breaking for the border and munching Selkirk bannocks washed down with Traquair House Ale from the oldest inhabited house in Scotland.

I The X-Files (BBC 1 ) 9.30—10. 15pm. Mulder and Scully stumble across US Defence disks confirming the existence of extra-terrestrials. Needless to say the army boys are somewhat miffed and trouble


I Ricki lake (Channel 4) 5—5.45pm. The subject for tonight‘s in-depth analysis is ‘Why am I attracted to bad boys'?‘ Illustrating the topic is Darlene's best friend David who is. it seems. too pleasant to be her man, David gets lessons from assorted bad boys on how to act lean and mean in leather to impress the chicks. I kid you not.

I Chart Bite (Scottish) 5.10-5.40pm. Mari Steven and Ewan MacLeod give the lowdown on the best Scottish charts action.

I Wild Harvest (BBC 2) 8—8.30pm. Nick Nairn continues to demonstrate the slash and flambe method ofcooking with the freshest Scottish produce possible.

I How Do They Do That? (BBC l) 8—8.50pm. The highlight of this programme has to be a parachutist who leaps from a helicopter into a deep cave but doesn't open his parachute until he is underground.

I Travelog (Channel 4) 8.30-9pm. Broadcaster and journalist Robert Elms heads to Ethiopia where he is surprised to find areas of lush flora and fauna.

I Under The Sun: The Pilgrim‘s Gift (BBC 2) 9.3()—l().20pm. Haji Ahmed and Hajo Titi. a married couple in their 708. make an annual pilgrimage to the shrine of Sheikh Hussein. a part-Muslim. part-

The List 23 Feb-7 Mar I996 85