A selection of television highlights, listed by day, in chronological order. Television Listings compiled by Jonathan Trew.


I The Great British Song Contest - The Final (BBC I) 8—9pm. The garr'ulous Terry Wogan hosts the final stage of Britain's search for a song to represent the country in that trnifying symbol of the liuropean union. the litn'ovisiou Song Contest. ‘Britain: nul points' from the French again.

I Father Ted (Channel 4) 0.30 mini). The award-winning comedy about three priests returns for a new series. Tonight the hon trinity are offon their holidays in the Kilkelly Caravan Park.

I The Mark Thomas Comedy Product (Channel 4) l().3()4—l l()Spm. .\lark decides to annoy the establishment by testing how easy it is to export military equipment to Iraq. Thus he converts a tank into an ice cream van and trys to get an export license for it. The services and invaluable advice of William \\'aldcgrave of the Department of Trade and Industry and Customs and lixcise are called on.

I Extreme Prejudice (Scottish) l().30pm—lZ.3()am. Nick Nolte. Powers Boothe and Michael lronside star in this action movie. When dedicated Texas Ranger Jack Benteen sets out to end the grip of drug barons on his home town. his crusade is complicated because the main drug dealer. Bailey. was once his boyhood friend. Cue much in the way of broken jaws.

I The Smell 0f Reeves And Mortimer (BBC 2) ll.l5-—l I.-15pm. More surreal capers from the comic duo.

I The All New Alexei Sayle Show (BBC 2) ll.45pm—IZ. ISam. The l.iverpudlian loudmouth and philosopher reveals that not only is he a woman trapped inside a man’s body but that he is. in fact. Iidith Piaf.

I Carnal Knowledge (Scottish) l2.45—l.45anr Late night sex quiz which is basically an adult version of the 70s Saturday night favourite. .ilr Am! Mrs.


I Morecambe And Wise (BBC 1 ) 8.05—8.35pm. Repeat showing of some of the classic comedy duo's sketches.

I Liters - The Rise And Rise Of The literary Biographer (BBC 2) 8.05—9pm. The biography business is booming and everyone is happy apart from the biographers' subjects. This programme asks whether biography is a legitimate attempt at finding out more about famous writers or a crude exploitation.

I Trip Trap (BBC l)‘)—l().3()pm. Kevin Whater and Stella Gonei star in this chilling drama about domestic violence. See preview.

I Ever felt a fancy to grow gooseberries as big as hens’ eggs? 0r apples like footballs? No? This man has. Cricket commentator and fruit fanatic David Lloyd ups stumps and combs Britain for soft fruit from the pineapple pits of Cornwall to the Cox orchards of Somerset. Fruity Stories starts on Friday 8 Mar on Channel 4 at 8pm.

programme takes a brief look at men who have discovered a sudden penchant for leather and chrome at a late age.

I Our Friends In The North (BBC 2)

9— l(). lipm. The final episode of Peter Hattnery's nine-part epic finds the different characters in vastly different situations from when they started their lives. As in real life. there isn't a happy ending for everybody.

I Guncrazy (Channel 4) Iii—11.50pm. Fast-moving romantic thriller starring Drew Barrymore as a sixteen-year-old high school student who murders her sexually abusive guardian. marries her convict penfriean when he comes out of jail. and then goes on the run from the law with him after they commit further murders.

I Ex-S (BBC l) l().l()-l().40pm. Ina programme entitled ‘\\’eathering The Storm'. the Scottish arts and entertainment programme profiles painter lune Redfern as she returns to SCotland for a major exhibition.


I Holiday (BBC 1) 7—7.30pm. Jill Dando takes a trip back in time as she explores the Highlands of Scotland on a steam train; meanwhile Kirst Young is in the South of l‘rance and Paul Gogartv travels to Memphis. Tennessee. birthplace of the King.

I Motor Mania (Channel 4) 8—8.30pm. The series which celebrates 100 years of

I Court TV (BBC 3 l ‘).-15~ l().35pm.

.\lany American court cases are broadcast on TV: now we can watch them too. The first of this series looks at the recent Joan Collins \ersus her publishers trial.

I The World Of Lee Evans (Channel .1) l()- I(l..‘\5pm. Iivans and his girlfriend let the train take the strain as they head to Scotland for a romantic weekend.

I Subway Cops And The Mole King (Channel .I) HHS-l 1.05pm. Channel ~l kicks off another themed season. this time under the umbrella title of 'The Blue light 7.0m". The first programme in the series follows Captain Bryan Henry. a cop who patrols the sewers beneath New York. tracking down cracklieads. vagrants. the mentally ill and others who have ruade the tunnels their homes.

I The Sweeney (Channel 4)

ll.()5pm-— l 2.05am. Carter and Regan kick seycral different shades of crap otit of assorted buddies in the cop show that was filmed before cormnunity policing was invented.

I Soweto Flying Squad (Channel 4) I2.2()-~ I .2()am, Yet more hobbies on Four. this time in the guise of South Africa's township’s law enforcement officers.

I Mission Impossible (Channel .1)

l2. l5» l.l5pm. Dan Briggs infiltrates a clandestine meeting of top-ranking Nazis who are out to set up a New ()rder.

I Board Stupid (Channel 4) l.lS—l.-15pm. The British riders clean tip at I)iablerets Air and Style competition. Gabrielle drops into the chalet and there‘s advice on snowboarding on a budget.

I Di" Ho (Scottish) 2—4pm. The very first of the Bond movies finds an extremely young Sean Connery prepared to sacrifice himself by cavortiug with bikini clad beauties while saving the world single- handedly.

I The Clothes Show (BBC 1) 3.25—3.5(lpm. The fashion capital of Italy. Milan. unveils its catwalks for the world's press. a bride-to-be shops in Oxford Street and builders bedeck their torsos for summer.

I Karate Kid II (Scottish) 4—5.55pm. More high-kicking hi-jinks from Ralph Macchio.

I Turner And Hooch (Scottish) 7-8.45prn. Tom Hanks enlists a particularly slobbery

the motor car takes a look at garages and how they grew from being a side line for the local blacksmith through to today's franchised and automated forecourts.

I The Nicky Campbell Show (BBC I) ‘).4()-l().2()pm. Nicky Campbell comes up from The Smoke to present his new show which promises a mix of celebrity interviews. live music and quirky items on off-the-wall stories.

I Straight From The Heart: Power Games (BBC 2) ‘).45-l().3()pm. This programme examines four people. men and women. who have used both love and sex to control their partners.

I Scottish Reporters (Scottish)

l().3()—l lprn. lixclusive and hard-hitting reports by one of Scotland's top-rated investigative learns.


I Chart Bite (Scottish) 5.10—5.40prn. Mari and liwan present more fun and frolics from the Scottish charts.

I A Bad Time To Be A Man: I love Mike Tyson (BBC 2) 7.50-8prn. This short programme examines the psyche and shared cultural experiences of young black men in Britain today.

I Wild Harvest With Hick llairn (BBC 2) S--8.3()pm. Scotland‘s very own galloping gourmet dashes off to Dumfrieshire where he dredges for scallops. hunts a roebuck and persuades an old garnekeeper to part with a recipe for roast haunch of venison. I How Do They Do That? (BBC 1) S—SSOpm. So just how do people persuade monkeys. who are not after all born tea drinkers. to slurp a cuppa with relish for the cameras'.’

member of the canine species to help him crack crime in this mild comedy thriller. I Wheeler On America (BBC 2 ) 7.30-8.20pm. As a result of Reagan's ‘War ()n l)rugs‘ the average drugs-related sentence is now longer than the average penalty for manslaughter. armed assault and rape. Charles Wheeler investigates a system that incarcerates more of its population than any other nation.

I Ballykissangei (BBC I ) 7.4S--s.3t)prn. The penultimate programme in the series finds the rural Irish community disturbed by political wrangling following the death of a local politician.

I My Generation: The Troggs (Channel 4) S.3()--‘)pm. Reg Presley confesses to numerous sins. not least of which was providing Wet Wet Wet with love Is All Around’.

I Clive Anderson Our Man In Lagos (BBC 2) ‘)—-‘).45pm. The guide books are not encouraging about Lagos. The comments range from ‘Most travellers detest l.agos' to ‘l.agos is the worst city in the world.‘ Anderson heads out there and manages to get arrested twice by the State Security Service.

I The Dressmaker (Channel 4)

‘)-— I().-l()pm. A young girl falls fora GI in post-war Britain. ller aunt disapprost of the relationship but is unable to stop what she sees as a decline in standards.

I Witness Against Hitler (BBC l) l().()5—I 1.35pm. This is an incredibly well researched drama. based on a true story. about a young German aristocrat who was one of the last men to be arrested for resisting Hitler.

I Crime Beat (BBC I) S.3()-‘)prn. Martyr) l.ewis presents this new series looking at the solutions to crime as well as highlighting the problems. Naturally. no crime show would be complete without a spot of CCTV footage and this one is no exception.

I The Greatest (Channel 4) 8.30-9pm. First in a twelve part series which will try to settle once and for all the question of who was or is Britain's greatest sportsman

I A Bad Time To Be A Man: Cruisers (BBC 2) 8.50—9prn. Statistics show that the fastest growing area of motorbike sales is among businessmen over 40. This


s new

The Troggs and an unidentified animal display their tonsils, Sun to, Channel 4