T/tc Cal/muse. (ilrts‘gmi; ll Mar

We came for the glamour of London's New Romantic revival. we panted for the allure of high cheekbones and haughty attitude; fashionable frolics for the capital's glitteratti otit here in the provincial boondocks. We were presented with the crusted grime of yesterday's forgotten thongs. The poor little darlings. crammed into their sweaty little lilo/(HIV .Ilukt'l' sponsored tour buses night after night. navigating the vagaries of ou-tlie-road toilet etiquette. without even a hotel stop along the way to offer sortie respite and steady ground upon which to stand when applying one's eyeliner. No wonder the wretches look so . . . less. Presentation”? Please. Honey. we've seen better designed ttrrd cakes on the sidewalks of Seville. And those nasty. tacky photocopied notices. hastily bln-tacked along the walls of the venue. it makes you weep. really ll does.

And when the tiny orphans leave the coaches and step into the cheap realms of the venue. what do they lind'.’ Thirty people. half of whom have scammed iii for free no doubt. journalists atid photographers with their bad hair. you know the type. the rest mildly curious. either along for passionate piss-taking or genuinely gullible ingenues. clutching feather boas and scraps of satin to their cheated little breasts.

Plastic Fantastic. nice looking young boys son": of them. But those movements the silly man keeps making. If you thought David was bad at mime. silly old queen . . . some of fatty l.e lion's old Maggie muzak tinkles by. ()rlando are little sweeties. though. It's such a shame for them. ()ne

just wants to give them some sweet tea. Nice. proper songs. too. and Tim looksjust like little Marc used to. like Judy singing her heart out with the moon in her eyes. Sigh. |.ove|y white teeth

the other one what's-bis-

name. the talented one has too. Cameras. revolution. limousines. mirrors. Signifying

nothing. dearie. signifying nothing. ()ur stockings are

sticking. We're leaving. (Joey DeVille)

3mm:— nusseu cownsson QUARTET

Henry’s Cellar Bar, Edinburgh

The grass-roots jazz scene in Edinburgh has a new focus of attention with regular jazz nights in the intimate basement setting of Henry’s Cellar Bar. There you can listen to jazz, buy records (courtesy of Gavin, who runs Jazz Records in Jeffrey Street), hang out at the bar (often with musicians for company), and even tend to more material hunger with a plate of dim sum from the adjoining Henry’s Restaurant, who own the bar.

The jazz nights are currently running on Wednesdays, when the Russell Cowieson Quartet is in residence (although that may change), Thursdays with Salsa Celtica, Fridays, and Sundays, when the Robert Pettigrew Trio will form the foundation of what

Kulu, the man behind the venture, hopes will become a regular high- quality jam session.

The club was well-filled but not packed for the set I heard from Russell Cowieson’s excellent quartet, and the audience was reasonably attentive. A modest door charge helps filter out some of the noisy passing trade which can make other pub gigs such an unrewarding experience, and helps in making this feel like a real jazz club.

The quartet play in a contemporary bop style, drawing on standards and jazz tunes from the vast bop repertory, but given some unusual twists, even in the case of a real warhorse like ‘Body and Soul’. Cowieson plays tenor sax with a rich sonority and lucid harmonic sense which is complemented by Brian Kellock’s dazzling pianism, while Kenny Ellis imaginatively underpins both harmony and time on bass, alongside John Rae’s assertive drumming.

This is as good a straight-ahead modern jazz quartet as you will hear anywhere in Scotland, and the acoustic in the room allows them to be heard to advantage despite a somewhat dodgy PA, and an electric piano. Henry’s is a welcome addition to the scene, and Kulu has no shortage of ideas to develop the room as a place where musicians can meet their peers and their audience, sit in, or simply cool out, and jazz fans can enjoy the distinctive close-quarters encounter with the music.

Unfortunately, he does not have the accompanying financial resources. The restaurant owners are supportive, but will need to see adequate returns from the bar, especially at the weekends, and the longevity of the project will depend very much on getting people through the door. All the more reason to get down there and check it out (see listings for details). (Kenny Mathieson)


The Arches, Glasgow, 17 March.

You have to feel a tad sorry for Spooky: coming on after nave Angel and Richie Hawtin have worked the Sunday night Megadog clubbing crowd in to a lather. And during their opening rendition of ‘Oblong’ with its asymmetric rhythms and sparse textures, it does seem as though they are going to tail to cut it dancefloor- wise.

Spooky come from the Orbital school of music-making. They layer loops of simple phrases, one upon the other, until they have created a densely textured sound. But, like Orbital, they come from a dance background, and once they have established their credentials on the new music front, they soon throw enough beats into the mix to do full justice to the awesome volume of the Megadog sound system.

A major part of Spooky’s appeal is that their music works on both a cerebral and a foot-tapping level. At

) times. in songs like ‘Shunt’, they bring

hip-swingingly sexual rhythms to the most industrial of noises. Then, through almost ambient levels of swirling synthesiser, a throbbing beat emerges, oozing with the strangulating coils of cascading noise. No two ways about it, Spooky know how to cut their music to leave every punter hot, sweaty and thoroughly satisfied. (Thom Oibdin)

l l


Concerts listed are those at major venues, for which tickets are on public sale at time of going to press.


I GLASGOW ARCHES (556 5555) Gong. 14 Apr; Maria McKee. 2| Apr: Lighthouse Family. |() May; Sleeper. 26 May.

I GLASGOW BARROWLANDS (226 4679) Sonic Youth. l-l Apr; Alanis Morissettc. 2 Apr: Hootie and the Blowfish. 28 Apr: Ash. 2 May.

I GLASGOW CONCERT HALL (227 55 l | ) El.(). 5 .-\pr: David Essex. 20 Apr; Tony Bennett. 25

. Apr; k d latig. 26---27 Apt". Rock and Pop Musicals. 5

May: Mark Knopfler. 6 May; l.ou Reed. |() May; Judith Durham. 3 Jun.

I GLASGOW GARAGE (332 l|2()) Lloyd Cole. 27 Apr; Northern Uproar. 5 Mav. I GLASGOW IBROX STADIUM (339 8383) Bon Jovi. || .Iul; Bryan Adams. 20 Jul.

I GLASGOW KING’S THEATRE (227 55l l) |()() (.iuitars. 7 May.

I GLASGOW PAVILION (332 l8-l6) Queen Tribute. l3 Apr.


A )I‘.

I GLASGOW SECC (248 9999) Meatloaf. 5 Apr: (ireen Day. 25 Apr: The Cure. 22 May:

. :\C/DC. | Jun:

' Boy/one. 5 Jul; Celine

Dion. 19—20 Nov: Status ()lto. 7 Dec.

I EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE (529 0000) What A Feeling. l—J May; Richard Thompson. 22 May; lierry Cross The Mersey. 27 May—l Jun. I EDINBURGH INGLISTON (557 6969) M People. l2 Jun.

I EDINBURGH MURRAYFIELD STADIUM (557 6969) Tina Turner. 30 Jun.

I EDINBURGH OUEEN’S HALL (668 2()l9) Aimee Mann. l2 Apr: Shed Seven. |9Apr1 Angelique Kidjo. It) May; Sleeper. 27 May.

I EDINBURGH USHER HALL (228 1 I55) David Essex. 24 Apr; Tony Bennett. 26 Apr; Mark Knopfler. 5 May.


I GLASGOW CONCERT HALL (227 55H) Billie Joe Spears. 2| Nov.

I GLASGOW PAVILION (332 l846) Nashville Country. l5 May.

I EDINBURGH LYCEUM (229 9697) Iris DeMcnt. 9 Jtm.


I GLASGOW CONCERT HALL (227 55] I) Tony Bennett. 25 Apr.


Big Band. | Jul; Chris Barber. 3 Jul; Wonderful World of Louis Armstrong. 7Jul.

I EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE (529 6000) Pasadena Roof Orchestra. 2 Jun; Hot Foot In Harlem. 10 Jul: Thank You. Mr Gershwin. 13 Jul. I EDINBURGH USHER HALLt228 ||55)Tony Bennett. 26 Apr.


I GLASGOW CONCERT HALL (227 551 l ) Clannad. 20 May: The Dubliners. l3 Jun.

I EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE (529 6000) Altan. [5 May; Richard Thompson. 22 May; Dubliners. |() Jun.

I EDINBURGH OUEEN’S HALL (668 2()l9) Andy Irvine. 5 Apr; Caledon. 7 Apr; l-‘airport Convention. 30 May.

I EDINBURGH USHER HALL (228 1 I55) Clannad. 22 May.


I GLASGOW CONCERT HALL (227 55 l 1) Roger Whittaker. l6 May; Connie Francis. 19 May. I GLASGOW PAVILION (332 I846) White Heather Club Tribute. l6—27 Apr. I GLASGOW SECC (248 9999) Barry Manilow. I2 Apr.

I EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE (529 6000) Rose-Marie. 23 May: Something Wonderful. 9 Jun.


I GLASGOW CONCERT HALL (227 55l |) Warsaw Sinfonia. l4 Apr; Anne- Sophie Mutter. l8 Apr; Rostal and Schaefer. 2| Apr; John Williams. 9 May; Vienna Phil. | l May; Evelyn Glennie. 17 May; Napoleon. 26 May: l.esley Garrett. 2 Jun; RSNO Scottish Power Proms. l4—29 Jttti.

I GLASGOW KING’S THEATRE (227 55l l ) 2t) Movements / A Scottish Island. |()—|l May.

I GLASGOW RSAMO (332 5057) Paragon. 28 Apr; Hebrides Ensemble. 5 May.

I EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE (5296000) 'I‘t'avelling ()pera. l7—l8 Apr: Lucia. 30 Apr; Evelyn Glennie. 5 May: Aniadigi. 25 May; Moldavian Opera. 26 May; Safri Duo. 8 Jul; The Cardinall's Mttsick. |2 Jul.


l | Apr; l.eda Trio. 2| Apr; Chamber Group of Scotland. 22 Apr; Burns in Europe. 23 Apr; Jubtlo. 28 Apr; ESO. 4 May; SCO Wind Ensemble. 5 May; Hebrides Ensemble. 6 May; King's Consort. 9 May; Edin Concert Band. | | May; Meadows (‘0. l2 May; Edinburgh Academy. l9 May; Endellion Qt. 2| May.

52 lbs: List 22 Maps) Apr I996 .