Dare to be bare


If you are inspired to strip off and skinny dip in some of Scotland’s secluded beauty spots, here’s a few suggestions for where to discard your swimming gear without disturbing others.

I Glen Massan Take the A885 from Dunoon towards Glen Massan. About three miles along the Glen Massan road from where the road forks to lnverchapel there is an inviting pool in the river with a large rock that is clearly visible from the road. The rock could have been made for diving off and once submerged in the pool. swimmers are invisible from the road. Watch out for those pesky giant salmon nibbling your bits.

Alternatively. rather than heading up towards Glen Massan at the fork. continue towards Inverchapel. The road winds alongside Loch Eek and there are plenty of grassy banks for picnics. The loch’s water seems to maintain a constant nearly freezing temperature irrespective of the weather. but at least there is no one to hear you scream when it hits your ‘Oh!’ zone.

I Gullane Beach Take the A198 out of Edinburgh and head through the blots on the landscape known as Cockenzie and Port Seton. Drive through Gullane village green on the left hand side of the road and keep going until you hit the beach. Should there be as much as a faint glimmer of sun in the sky. then the intital curving beach that you come to will be heaving with baking flesh and mewling children in a scene which would resemble Dante’s Inferno had it been set in Blackpool. Fret not and head east away from Edinburgh. The crowds vanish quickly and within a half hour walk it is perfectly possible to have an entire beach to yourself. The tall dunes behind the beaches provide shelter for those wishing to be sun- kissed all over and a host of more nefarious activities.

I lnversnaid Given Loch Lomond's proximity to Glasgow and its popularity with folk seeking escape from the city. it might seem an unlikely spot to shed your inhibitions. Nevertheless. to paraphrase Frost. take the path least travelled by and head up the B837 on the east side of the loch. Avoid the A82 and the west side at all cost as these shores contain more people than lbrox on a Saturday afternoon.

In the shadow of Ben Lomond, near the tip of the loch. an outlet from the Arklet reservoir runs down to Loch Lomond. There are plenty of secluded areas around here where you can gyre and gimble in peace without fear of interruption. Beware the weekend of 3/4 August. however. as 80.000 Oasis fans will be just down the road in Balloch and the normal tranquillity of the area is likely to be affected a tad.

While in the area. it’s worth taking a trip to

lnehmurrin Island in the middle of the loch. As well as a naturist club the island boasts quiet bays and a non-naturist pub for the hot and bothered.

I Fionnphort It’s a bit out of the way for a day trip but as the saying goes: ‘no pain. no lying on a deserted beach by yourself.” Or something. A ferry terminal town would not be many people’s

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first choice of holiday destination but the ferry over to Iona is a small scale affair and unlikely to disrupt the sun worshipping much. Take a wee wander North for some craggy but empty shores that have the odd beach dropped among them. Best of all is the fact that the Gulf Stream wafts gently past so hypothermia isn’t obligatory after a dip in the big blue

Before you drop your swimsuit, try looking over your shoulder.

While nobody expects to be able to go jogging in Kelvingrove Park attired in little more than a pair of Reebok pumps without attracting the attention of the boys in blue. the question ofjust where and when sun lovers can lawfully bare their all is a vague affair.

The official police line is akin to the old conundrum of whether or not a tree makes any noise if it falls over in a deserted forest. The police will investigate complaints. but their course of action depends on the circumstances of each case. Nudity in a public place is not in itselfa crime and

The nude, the lewd and the law

were you to march into a police station and turn yourself in for skinny dipping in an isolated loch. it's more likely that you‘d be greeted with a bemused sigh than an invitation to try on a pair of handcuffs. Obviously. if there are no complaints then they won't be investigating anything. which makes a very strong case for discretion.

The secret lies in the an of not drawing attention to yourself or causing what the police term ‘undue alarm’. Sunbathing in the buff in your backyard won't lead to a ten-year stretch in Barlinnie. If however you‘re indulging in a spot of nude shopping in Princes Street of a Saturday afternoon. when you see a couple of blue uniforms striding purposefully towards you it might be prudent to show them a clean pair of heels. (Jonathan Trew)

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