As the party season gears up, Glasgow and
Edinburgh’s clubs will be throbbing with festive
pleasure seekers. Before you decide where to shake your baubles, Jim Byers and Rory Weller
guide you to the cities’ best club venues, rating them on everything from music to door policy, the
best nights to the price of a pint. We’ve got an
essential glossary to clubspeak to keep your patter as cool as your gear, and a guide to clubbing types.
All you need for a firin’ night out. Let’s ‘ave it!
s7 ASHLEY WALKER
all gone Pete Tong Not going terribly well. (‘ould be time to go home.
are you on one? Your pharmaceutical state of mind is in question.
bangin’ Describes a particularly hard and successful sct.
battered Not in the best of health after a particularly sustained period of drug abuse (heard more in Edinburgh than (ilasgow).
blagger Individual who tries hard to get into a club free.
the bomb The latest best record you've ever heard (cg: ‘That tune‘s the bomb. manl‘).
booyaka! Jungle for ‘Hooray. let's have another great record Mr disco jockster‘.
breakdown The bit in a record where everything just kinda stops for a couple of minutes before coming back in. (‘ue hands in the air and shouts of ‘woop woop' (see below).
buggered Same as battered (see above). but used in Glasgow.
canin’ it Forgetting to go to bed for four days. resulting in a sore nose. unexplained hotel bills. a criminal record and loss of memory/partner/wallet/job/self- esteem.
cheesy quaver Derogatory term for raver [rhyming slang].
choon ()ne of those really good. stand- out. whistle-it-on-the-way home songs.
come-down The nasty. nast y down- side of drug-taking. Makes you moody. edgy. paranoid and a bit pasty- looking. Kicks in on Tuesday and pisses offjust in time for the weekend. tirin’ Explosive (eg: ‘frrin' on all cylinders').
ilava Hip hop word for something particularly tasty.
full on When all the elements of a club come together and the place is rocking.
gouching Unable to dance/speak/move after taking dodgy drugs.
gum Uncontrollable. drug-induced
jaw/face girations. Can come with foaming mouth and rather big eyes. If people say to you ‘stop bloody chewing'. you are now ‘a gurner' (there‘s always one).
jockey slut A girl with a penchant for l).ls.
Iargin’ it (‘onsuming copious amounts ofjust about damn-near everything ._ from home to pills. through sex and depravity.
let’s ’ave it! Sliouted by the more vociferous l).ls to incite their crowd. monged-out Similar to gouched and wasted. but a bit later on when the downers kick in. Try to avoid this stage.
muppet Woolly. empty-headed. hands- in-the-air club-victim.
out of it Not entirely sure what‘s going on. matey.
phunky Detroit. Chicago. ass-shaking. jacking. futuristic funk.
ruﬂ Dirty. chunky. lowdown. uptempo beats. Used to describe hip hop. jungle and certain types of American house.
particularly from Chicago. saucer-eyed Having eyes bigger than your lists. This may be an indication you should calm it down a bit.
the shit The best. Used as the ultimate compliment (eg: ‘He was playing the real shitl').
slammin’ Describes unusually hard- hitting tracks (eg: ‘His shit was slammin' l').
sorted As in for Es and wizz‘. trainspotters Sad wannabe l).ls who loiter around DJ booths taking notes on record labels and mixing techniques. Known for their owl-like neck control. which enables them to read the label as it spins.
upfront Cutting—edge. usually relating to underground club culture. Describes a record. a 01‘s set or a club night. wasted Back against the wall. jaw open. dribbling down your front. sweaty. not in the same dimension as everyone else.
woop! woop! The mating call of the common muppet (see above).
The List l3 Dec I996-9 Jan l‘)‘)7 81