What type of clubber are you?
Before you begin your search for festive clubbing heaven, you’d better get your image in order. Are you likely to need somewhere to prop your sassy butt, or to park your skateboard? Will you be pillaging children’s departments for the perfect cutsie top, or does outsize suit your attitude better? Photographs by Crolla Edmond, posed by models.
Club babe .
' Clubs at Cream. Renaissance. Glasgow; Burger Queen. Tease. Edinburgh.
Favourite hand She doesn’t like bands. they’re not cool — she only likes good looking Dis.
Favourite TV programme Brookie. IfastEnders. The Street. The Clothes Show.
Film choice Babe.
Favourite magazine Vogue. Mixmag.
Eats Low-fat food.
Eats at Style bars/restaurants.
Drinks A healthy bottle of water — or champagne. if you’re buying.
drinks at Maxaluna. Glasgow; City Cafe. Edinburgh. Occupation Looking good is a full-time job.
orugs Whatever you’re offering. preferably E or coke. Annoyed by Ugly. sweaty. fat guys; ugly. sweaty. fat girls: breaking a nail; breaking into a sweat; not being on the guest list or in the VIP room; you not buying the drinks/drugs.
oance style Either extremely provocatively (if she's on E) or an effortless. two step clap ’n’ wiggle.
Labels D&G. D&G. D&G. Depends on how rich/stupid the boyfriend is.
Shops at Cruise. Hamnett, Lacroix, Fahri. Kookai. Glasgow; Cruise, Xile. Pink Heaven. Edinburgh.
Shoes 3in dagger heels or Patrick Cox Wannabees. Favourite holiday location Ibiza.
Favourite sex location In the DJ booth. back at the DJ’s hotel. Or at her boyfriend’s ﬂat if she has to.
Address Merchant City. Glasgow; New Town. Edinburgh.
What is her tlat like? Walk-in wardrobe bigger than the bedroom. Bathroom full of expensive make-up and perfume.
Future plans To open a club.
Where will she spend Christmas? At home, trying not to stab her family on a comedown from the night before. Or ’avin it on the dancefloor in that expensive new dress. ideal Christmas present An expensive new dress. Post-club activities Going back to the DJ ’5 hotel for a ‘private party’. Also, looking drop dead gorgeous at 7am while everyone else is either horribly pissed. stoned or puking up.
Travels by Limo. helicopter. taxi if she has to. Minimum effort. maximum style.
Most prized possession Gold Cream VIP card. Her body and her looks.
Goes out with Dis, or failing that anyone rich and goodlooking with Patrick Cox shoes.
Fancies Sasha, Healy, Oakenfold and any other DJ superstar you care to name. The guy with enough money to keep her happy.
MODEL: UZMA HAMID
82 The List l3 Dec l996-9 Jan I997