Celebrating 300 issues and twelve years of The List in a name-dropping, back-slapping special, we remind you what the stars said to us - and

wish they hadn't.

‘I wasn’t always fat. but I was always funny.‘

Robbie Coltrane, comedian and actor (Issue 35. Feb 87)

‘We still stay with our parents. We still go back and wash the dishes.’

Tom Cunningham, Wet Wet Wet (Issue 51. Oct 87)

‘People accuse 7:84 and me of preaching to the converted. but the fact is that if all the people who’ve seen our shows had been converted we would have a very different kind of country.’

John McGrath. playwright and founder of 7:84 theatre company (Issue 87, Feb 89)

‘l’ve never bought a soundtrack album in my life. I don’t know why people buy them.’

Michael Nyman, soundtrack composer (Issue 106. Oct 89)

‘People have strange ideas about Asian people, I suppose. Even stranger since some people have started burning books and reading aubergines.’

Hanif Kureishi, writer (Issue 119, Apr 90)

10 THE "81' 7—20 Mar 1997

‘Start smoking and eat mad cow beef. Develop your own cancer rather than letting the Government bring it to ya.’ Denis Leary, comedian and actor (Issue 127, Aug 90)

‘The Madonna party was phenomenal. All sorts of people were hanging around. like John- Paul Gaultier. Eddie Murphy. Tina Turner. The only parties I’ve been used to. you sit with a couple of cans behind a couch.’ Robert Carlyle, actor (Issue 152, Jul 91)

‘I don’t take my clothes off because there’s just too much flobbage, but I do have a very naked tongue.’

Margi Clarke. presenter of The Good Sex Guide (Issue 207, Aug 93)

‘There’s an incredible self- loathing in many actors because they are such arse Iickers.’ Steven Berkoff, actor (Issue 208, Aug 93)

‘Women have got a lot more to talk about than just putting down men. Men aren’t the be-all and end-all of women’s lives.’ Donna McPhail, comedian (Issue 213, Oct 93)

‘It feels weird doing something [Shallow Grave] in my own accent . . . I’ve got nothing to hide behind. no cravats. no English accent.’

Ewan McGregor, actor (Issue 214, Nov 93)

‘l’ve always made movies that I felt people wanted to go and see

. . . even though sometimes nobody showed up.’

Brian de Palma, film director (Issue 217. Dec 93)

‘The themes I wanted to broach were man as animal. the tolerance of violence in society and pizza delivery boys.’

Sean Hughes (Issue 222, Mar 94)

‘A party is part of real life, isn’t it‘? As much as funerals are.’ Bobby Gillespie. Primal Scream (Issue 223, Mar 94)

‘lf women have to sit and listen to male comics’ stories about fighting in the playground, then they should have the good grace to listen to us talking about panty-liners.’

Jo Brand. comedian (Issue 224, Apr 94)

Bjérlt: life-saver (Issue 256)

‘l’m the worst person to invite to a wedding because I’m always in a foul mood . . . for sheer pleasure it’s got to be funerals for me.’

Hugh Grant, actor (Issue 226. May 94)

‘Nowadays you won’t meet an American who understands rogering any more than one who understands randy.’

Bill Bryson. writer (Issue 230, July 94)

‘The 905 is the 60s turned upside down.’

Edwyn Collins, singer (Issue 235. Aug 94)

‘I had to check whether it was possible to get a heart up a rectum, but it’s a very malleable organ, you know.’

Muriel Gray, TV presenter (Issue 237. Sept 94)

‘Mind control systems are being imposed, I believe, to suit the ideologies and prejudices of the left-wing, middle class intelligentsia.’

Gary Bushell. tabloid TV critic (Issue 239, Oct 94)

‘l was a day boy in a public school. That means you don’t get buggered in the dormitory.’ Shane MacGowan of The Popes, formerly of The Pogues (Issue 241. Nov 94)

‘Boxing training is a brilliant way for women to work out, but I don’t think they’re built for fighungf

Gary Jacobs, boxer (Issue 241, Nov 94)