‘Fuck psychiatrists, they don’t do ‘lt should be called Of Mice And ‘I write about the things I know ‘Celtic were always good to me.

nothing for people but I think pop Women because they’re the two but that doesn’t mean that every But to be honest it doesn’t really

music saves lives every day.’ things that get killed by men incident that occurs in Bad Boys bother me if they win the Premier

Bjork. singer (Issue 256, June 95) petting them. or Nesbitt has happened to me. League. It could be Aberdeen for Kenny Ireland, artistic director of For instance, I’ve never hit all I care.‘

‘I think anyone who feels they’ve the Royal Lyceum, Edinburgh (Issue anyone with a baseball bat but 1 Kenny Dalglish, former Celtic and

got some sort of pan-relevant, as 272, Feb 96) know people who have.’ Scotland football God (Issue 290.

it were, attitude or way of looking Ian Pattison. creator of Rab C. Oct 96)

at the world, occasionally thinks, ‘Every man over the age of 25 Nesbitt (Issue 279, May 96)

“My God, I’m trapped on this should have somewhere to go and ‘Living fast and dying young is

not him [Liam]. One thing he has got is common sense.’

Paul Gallagher. brother of Oasis's Noel and Liam (Issue 290, Oct 96)

planet surrounded by cretins. drink lager and read soft porn.

Iain Banks, writer (Issue 261, Aug 95) And John Major has to have an affair. It’s all part of my “Make

‘T In The Park’s great, right, but This Country Sexy Again"

the style fascists tend to operate campaign.’

across there, which means that Jenny Eclair, comedian (Issue 273.

for acts like myself, there’s not a Feb 96)

hope in hell of getting on a bill

‘l’m not out shagging women, I’m not out drinking, I’m in the studio. Give me some space, this

like that, ‘cause the vampires ‘If you look back over my is what I do.’ want new blood.’ f ilmography, every character l’vc Tricky, king of trip hop (Issue 292. Fish, singer (Issue 261, Aug 95) played was 5ft tall.’ Nov 96) Danny de Vito. actor (Issue 274, ‘I used to have nightmares about Mar 96) ‘The good thing is Trainspotting ‘I do love a properly-run Bosnia, now I have nightmares happened when l was in my municipal facility. An efficient about Don Giovanni.’ ‘I haven’t been back to Cuba thirties. If it had happened when l bus that’s on time to me is a thing Peter Howson. Britain’s official war since the day I left. It’s like was in my twenties I would have of beauty.’ artist for Bosnia (Issue 262, Sept 95) asking a Jew if they would like to been River Phoenix or Ben Elton, comedian (Issue 293, live with Hitler, that’s the way I something.’ Nov 96) ‘l was a little puritan shit when I see Castro.’ Irvine Welsh, writer (Issue 280, May was younger. I was very much Andy Garcia, actor (Issue 278, May 96) ‘no drugs’ and anyone who did 96) was being a decadent shitbag and ‘After all that Cop Killer shit, my

shit was hectic. l was angry as a muthafucka back then but I’ve got my shit back together with this record. I don’t have all those people fuckin’ wit me no more. I feel more relaxed and I ain’t so concerned about serious shit now.’ Ice-T, rapper (Issue 280. May 96)

betraying the movement. Now I think. you twat.

Alexei Sayle, comedian (Issue 264, Oct 95)

‘If anyone else tries to tell me about Charles Rennie Mackintosh when I’m in Glasgow, I think I’ll go and deface one of his


buildings.’ a', 1’ ‘l’ve got to do a couple of sex ‘A lot of actresses like to do Barry Humphries, aka Dame Edna j " scenes. A sick part of me has period drama because you’ve got Everage (Issue 268. Dec 95) , always wanted to do it just to eight layers of underwear on.’

s » ~ prove to myself that I can . . . er. Kate Beckinsale. actress (Issue 293. ‘They had to find someone who i 3 " l was going to say rise to the Nov 96) didn’t look that great but was ‘lt’s nice, Scotland. As the saying occasion.’ making the best of limited assets. goes, Geordies are Scotsmen with Joseph McFadden. actor in The ‘I can’t remember a good or bad The director said: “You’ve got to their heid kicked in and vice Crow Road (Issue 281, Jun 96) review that’s actually dealt with walk about with your shoulders versa, so we’ve got that little bit the music they have all passed back going ‘hello, boys.”’ It was of respect for each other.’ ‘Techno and house music are just comment on whether Runrig quite liberating.’ Paul Gascoigne, Rangers and disposable. J ust think of a deserve this position in the Katy Murphy. actress (Issue 271. England footballer (Issue 278, May teenager alone in his bedroom Scottish psyche.’ Jan 96) 96) listening to tune that goes “na- Donnie Munro, singer (Issue 294.

na-na-na-na—na” for five minutes. Nov 96) It’s nonsense.’

Noel Gallagher, singer with Oasis (Issue 284, Jul 96)

‘I left Altered Images because I wanted to have a boyfriend and all the things I hadn’t had the chance to do when people my age were going out and snogging the faces off as many people as they could.’ Clare Grogan. actress (Issue 285. Aug 96)

‘This woman gave me an , - . ,7 ' amazing sexual review and I’d . _ ' 1/

never met her. But you just can’t "‘ ' ‘"

sue in those circumstances: ‘Take That rode on our backs

‘Actually, no, I’m crap in bed, because they were doing shite for your honour.’ two years before we came out.’ ' Craig Charles. comedian (Issue 287. Tony Mortimer. East 17 (Issue 294, Ewan McGregor: no cravats (Issue 214) Aug 96) Nov 96)

7—20 Mar 1997 YIIEIJSTfl