every second Monday in the lteart of the city. This is a fairly new rtight bttt rapidly gairting recognition on the comedy circuit. The evening begirts around 8.30pm and is corttpered by Billy Bonkers.

Best deal: Entrance is free.

Other bargains: Cheap drinks to put you irt the rttood.

Edinburgh I The Stand WJ. Christie's. West Port. 22‘) 4553 (Tltursdays): Trort Ceilidh House. Hunter Square. 220 l550 (Fridays). Information: 662 4407. Edinburgh's rttost flourishing corttedy club. runnirtg two rtights of comedy every week (every night durirtg the Festival) under the sterrt contperesltip of Jane Mackay. Acts are generally of the up-and- coming league. witlt some visitors frortt England; and there are open mic spots on Thursdays.

Best deal: At least four acts for £4 (Thursdays): at least live acts for £5 (Fridays).

Best concession: Standard prices with £1 off. NB: concessions are not offered to students.


I The Apartment 23 Royal Exchange Square. 22l 7808. ()riginally a members- ortly clttb. Tlte Apartment ttow welcomes Joe Public ittto its plush interior for fttrtk artd fun. Platforrtts win prizes?

Best deal: Mad For It on Thursdays (£4) a funky and bizarre mix of everytlting from Tlte Muppels to Sister Sledge. Drinks promos include all spirits at £1.50 arid two-for-the-price-of-one bottled beers.

Best concession: Students showing matriculation cards get irtto Mad For It for £2.

Other bargains:l)oor passes from The Lounge or The Apartment Bar. Prizes and/or free admission for the l'tmkiesl dressers.

I Archaos 25 Queen Street. 204 3 l is“). Huge cltrb with three floors. two bars attd the friendliest toilet attendants irt Glasgow. Also houses Betty's h’layonnaise.

Best deals: lce (cornntercial garage) artd No l)iggety (soul artd swirtgbeat) on Fridays (£5): drinks are £1 tip until l2.30am. Also Cop (house) on Thursdays (£4). with selected drinks for £1-£1.25. Best concessions: Student prices: lcc £1 before 12.30am; £3 after; Cop £2.50.

I The Garage 490 Saucltichall Street. 332 1120. A club of two halves (rttairt

room plus The Attic). where many merry Glasgow clubbers wind up at the end of the night.

Best deals: Shooting Stars (cltartislt sounds from Gerry and lairt) on Tuesdays (£3) artd Rurttble (also chart-based. with Cardow arid Ross) on Thursdays (£3). Both nights feature cheap drink promos. Best concessions: Both nigltts are £2 for students.

Other bargains: Disco 2000 on Sundays. features club classics arid costs a rttere £2 (students £1).

I Glasgow School of Art l()7 Renfrew Street. 332 069l. The School ofArt‘s students uniort ltas art unpretentious and easy atmosphere.

Best deal: Free flow on Thursdays is a

: free jazz-funk night for students. with a

friendly crowd arid cheap drinks.

Best concession: Students get into Divine (Northern Sottl. pop artd furtk with Andrew Divine artd Huslt Puppy) on Saturdays for £3.50 or£2.50 if they‘re GSA students.

Other bargains: More drinks promos! I The Tunnel 84 Mitchell Street. 204 I000. Good-looking club with award- winning design. lighting and sound system. Up for it'.’ The Tunnel‘s two roonts ltave it.

Best deals: Ark (big house night with resident DJ Simon Foy) on Fridays (£6). with drinks for £1. l()pm- l 2.30am; Easy Life (indie. soul artd dance) on Thursdays (£4). with vodka and Red Bttll for £1.50. Best concessions: Students get into Ark for £4: attd Easy Life for £2.


I Diablo The Vaults. Niddry Street. 558 9052. Wednesday house night with regular 'big name’ guests for those who can't stop going out.

Best deal: Admission charge is currently £4.

Best concession: Students get in for £3. Other bargains: Suicidal drinks promos are the order of the day at Diablo. Spirits and lager are 50p before I 1pm arid £1 before midnight. Selected bottled drinks are a ntere £1 all night.

During term time especially. Diablo lays on lots of famous l)Js like Jtrdge Jules. Brandon Block. Tall Pattl artd Tony l)e Vii.

I Negociants 4S l.olhialt Street. 225

()3 l 3. Food. drink attd music seven days a week until 3am. You can choose either to sit eating food while being cool artd romantic at the cartdlelit tables upstairs. or dance artd drink like a loott downstairs iii the bar/club area.

Best deal: Admission is free.

Other bargains: There‘s a different club.

10 THE usr 16—29 May 1997

Paul Campion

Singer of Glasgow-based band A.C. Acoustics.

’I've got loads of cheeseplants in my flat, so when I’m really skint I stay in and polish them, which passes a few hours. If you polish their leaves with a diluted solution of milk and water then it produces a high-lustre effect on the foliage. Just use half water and half milk. I think full-fat milk is best. My cheeseplants are very healthy. The thing is l rent my flat and these very big cheeseplants were already here and large plants are very expensive. I'm terrified of the prospect of them not being in peak condition when returned to the landlord, so it’s an investment. ’And I like plants anyway.’

a different DJ arid a different style of music every night for example. techno on Mondays. dtib on Wednesdays and house on Saturdays.

I Tribal Funktion The Venue. Caltort Road. 557 3073. Fortnightly Saturday night underground music zone.

Best deal: Non-members get in for £6. Best concession: Members get in for £5. Other bargains: Tribal Fttrtktion offers unbeatable musical quality at art unbeatable price for a Saturday night. There are three floors to check (covering hip hop. jungle arid house) and guests front America play on a regular basis.

I Zoology Wilkie House. Cowgate. 225 5583. Popular Thursday house night fronted by two solid residents and visited by regular guests.

Best deal: Admission charge £4. The drinks promos at this club are legendary. Between l0.30—l l.30pm. rtips are 50p artd pints are 75p. After that. nips are 75p attd pints are £1.

I Other bargains: For your £4. you get quality music. cheap booze arid the chance to hear some 'big name l)Js'. Artd art excuse rtot to go to lectures/work on Friday. What are you waiting for'.’



I The Blob Shop 43! Saticltieltall Street. 332 314l. Popular drinking den. spacious arid airy enough to accommodate crowds of young and old bargain-hunters arid party revellers. Best deal: Draft beers such as Tennents. Miller. Boddinglons arid John Smiths cost £1.10 a pint.

Other bargains: Budweiser. Stella and Caffreys on draft costs £1.50. all spirits are £1.05 aitd all dashes are 25p. The food served all day (noon—3pm on Sundays) is excellertt value; for example soup or pie and hearts. botlt at 95p. and a massive (they mean ‘nightmares all night massive) wedge ofclteese. with granary bread. pickles artd chutney. for £1.95.

I The Grand Ole Opry 2 Govan Road. Paisley Road Toll. 42‘) 53%. ()pen Fri—Sun 0.30pm— l 2.30am. Lively arid friendly country attd western clttb charging £2 entrance (£1 for members) for a night of live music. l)Js start the night off. followed by a bartd artd any of the following: line dancing. bingo. charity singers. shoot outs arid llag saltttes quite a night ifcourttry arid western is your tltang. honey.

Best deal: £1.30 fora pint of lager or cider.

Other bargains: £1.50 fora pint of Guinness or Murphy's. or a cart of Red Stripe. Budweiser or Miller Light; and 75p fora 25ml sltot of whisky. gin or vodka. Food served frorn the ‘cltuck w'tgon' ranges frottt 90p for basic

s: tdwicltes to £6 for a three-course meal.

I The Horseshoe l7—-2l l)rur_v Street. 22! 305 l. Relaxed arid friendly bar iii the city centre offering good arid continually changing deals throughout the day attd evening. to a ntixed clientele. Especially good for lovers of Karaoke. which is held upstairs iii the lounge every night.

Best deal: Boasting ‘probably the cheapest pint irt Scotland'. the bar also offers While Thistle Ale the official beer of the Scottish Rugby l'nion - for

88E .1 pint.

Ot er bargains: A pint of 'l‘ennents with pie. hearts attd chips costs £2.50: a bottle of Miller bought between 5-8pm costs £1.40; or you might choose one of the selection of spirits with 50p off a double.


I The Claremont Bar I33 East Claremont Street. 550 5062. This would appear to be Edinburgh's only science fiction bar with unofficial fan clttbs convening weekly for Baby/rm 5. Dr Who, Strtr ll'ttrs. arid Star Trek nights.

How I get mine

Gina Davrdson Presenter for Edinburgh Live television.

Quasar, the electronic hide-andseek game in Bread Street, is quite good fun and only costs about a fiver. You do it in teams and everybody has these backpacks on and gets laser guns. You're in this maze of futuristic rooms which are pitch black and there's lots of different nooks and crannies, and basically you‘ve got to kill everybody.

'lt’s terrible, actually, because you have to shoot them in the back the targets are on the back of the backpacks. So you can think you’re killing somebody and someone else is shooting you in the back, which means your laser gun doesn't work so it gets very intense. It's one of those things I do as a work’s night out. You get a chance to shoot your boss down.’

Best deal: A dotible whisky. gin or vodka arid a dash is a meagre £1.50 frortt

Q the moment they open their doors to last 3 bells. seven days a week.

5 Other bargains: All their food is

3 prepared on the premises (apparently the i chef is so proud of ltis lasagne recipe that

lte locks himself in the kitchen when making it so no-one else can steal it) and

: everything except the steak is under £4.

Regular beer promos are art added bonus.

i I Queen Street Oyster Barloa Queen ; Street. 220 2530. This is the place to

come for unbelievably cheap Cava irt a ntellow basentent bar. The ideal place for

i a relaxed game of backgammon artd a

chilled drink.

: Best deal: The ()yster bar is the ultimate j bargain basement. offerittg cheap

3 champers every Friday (5—l0pm) artd

Sunday night ((t.30—l0.30pnt). Cava is £6 a bottle arid the no less pleasing Royal St. Charles costs a rttere £4 a bottle.

3 I The Phoenix 46 Broughlon Street.

557 0234. Open daily 8am-lam (8am~12.30am Suns). This is a drinkers‘ paradise. the Brotrglttort Street Mecca for those who fancy cheap bevies. Punters can sit on leather coucltes artd sup pints arty tinte from dawn till dusk arid this pub's eternally modest prices always rttake for art entertaining night ottt.

Best deal: The ‘malt of the moment is

only £1 a hip. while other wltiskies. gins

and vodka cost onlv 85p a measure. Pints

of lager. lPA artd 80/- cost £1.70.

Guinness £ l .85 artd guest beers such as Dark lslartd and Speckled Hen £1.80.