Wot a Ioada bollocks

There ain't ’arf some funny ideas about blokes 'n' birds in this ’ere Festival.

Funny fing, this Edinburgh lark. Boozers open all hours, and all anyone wants to do is watch some shirtlifter showing off his packet. Mind you, my bird Camilla loves it. Proper class. she is. Works in PR, which means she's either on the

phone or else having lunch. Or both. It's her what talked me into coming up.

She shows me this 'Fwinge pwogwamme' and says we should go and see sumfink called Oleanna, all about this student bird who's sniffing round her teacher, then starts claiming sexual harassment. Unbelievable! Camilla says it's more ambiguous than that - wants us to see three different versions to get the full picture. Darft!

Then she points to this fing called Boy’s Life, which is all about these three Yanks who can't decide whether to settle down or keep going on the pull. I know which I prefer. I says, but Camilla just looks at me all moody like. Funny fings, women.

She even wants to see this Playing The Game rubbish about a bunch of birds taking charge of their blokes. Now this I do not like. I mean, it ain't natural. is it? Barry Sorts It Out

Andy Linden in Barry Sorts ltOut: sound bloke

sounds better. Now Barry sounds

like a man I can respect. I mean, you i can't blame him for being pissed off '

with his missus leaving him, even if he was playing away.

Camilla gets proper shirty at this - says it’s 'an ironic expose of New Laddism'. That's all very well, I says, but Barry sounds all right to me. So Camilla storms off, and that's that.

Still . . . can't complain. She's put

me on to this Fringe Club place,

which is chocka wiv birds

apparently, so I should be sorted for : skirt. Specially now I know a bit , about them poncy plays. Know '

what I mean?

(Neil C00per's well-‘ard mate Alfie) .

("Juslv A

An evening of


the best stand-up comedy Compered by

and featuring

at the Music Hall, Stella Artois Assembly Rooms

Sunday 1 0th August

From 12 midnight

Tickets £12 £1 0 (Conc)

All proceeds to Amnesty International

Tickets available from: International Shop 11 Jeffrey Street Tel: 0131 557 8279

Frlngo lox Office Stella Artois 180 High Street Assembly Rooms Credit Card I-Iotllno 54 George Street Tel: 0131 226 5138 Credit Card Hotlino

Tel: 0131 226 2428



22 THE U37 25 Jul—7 Aug 1997

Dutch treats

An unexpected Fringe benefit from the nether lands.

If Edinburgh delis note a run on edam and florists find their stocks of tulips suddenly depleted, you can blame the Dutch.

It may be crude stereotyping, but there is a wealth of opportunity at the Fringe for NetherlaridOphiIes Backchat Theatre premiere You Are My Mother, a Dutch play by loop Admiraal (Pleasance); while Amsterdam-based

There’s also a quadruple dose of Dutch humour at The Gilded Balloon, in The Amsterdam Comedy Explosion.

And Trestle Theatre Company have also gone Dutch with Fool House (Pleasance), set in Amsterdam, which draws on the company's touring experience in the country.

Fool House’s co-director Toby Wilsher says the show was devised to give something back to audiences in Holland who had supported Trestle. However, he expects a good reception in Britain: 'It is essentially an English farce set in an Amsterdam house,’ he says.

an... the"

Les Enfants Terrible offer Tales From A Travel/er (Famous Grouse House).

’There are aspects of it which might bafer people a bit,' he warns. ’We stage a version of their Queen's Day holiday where everybody dresses up in orange. We are a bit worried about how it Will 90 down in Armagh!’

You Are My Mother, meanwhile, has won prizes in Holland, Germany and Austria, and delves deep into the mother-son relationship, while Tales From A Travel/er examines the value of life in an adaptation of the Simone de Beauvoir novel All Men Are Mortal. It’s likely to be poignant, not least because writer/performer Erwin Kokkelkoren and production manager Bert Oele are both HIV-positive.

Comedy is notoriously lost in translation. However, the Amsterdam Comedy Explosion promises the iokes will be in English. Which is more than can be said for their press release.

If: ’Ik heb Iaatst mijn amandelen laten knippen', means anything to you, you're off to a head start. (Stephen Naysmith)

N.» \. ‘r‘

Bikes and dykes: Trestle Theatre Company get 'Dammed


The people who are offering you respite from the Festival mayhem.

The indomitable Fergie provoked a media 1“! field-day a few years back when she went ’alternative’ and sat under a mini- pyramid. Tongues wagged in Hollywood when actress Shirley MacLaine rented an Egyptian pyramid to recharge her p r energies. But now the glossies are: advocating that you burn yOur trainers and invest in a yoga mat. It seems the New Age has arrived. '

The Sanctuary Gardens Festival Of Healing (Salisbury Centre) is a shelter from the Festival’s hailstorm of high culture, heavy schedules and hardcore hedonism, which hopes to spread the word on crystals, reflexology and other ’alternative therapies '

’People punish themselves. It is like overlilling a bottle of water the damage Will eventually spill out,’ says Elspeth Walker, one of the founders of Sanctuary, the Edinburgh organisation behind the Festival Of Healing. Founded in 1996, Sanctuary aims to counter media ridicule that has dogged alternative therapies. 'We want to introduce Joe Public to alternative therapies Without them having to pay large sums of money,’ explains Walker.

Another aim is to ’spread the light,' which she Willineg admits ’sounds terribly New Age.‘ But Walker believes an all-important tenet of alternative therapy is that people should listen to their bodies.

As part of a complementary season at the Book Festival, leading aromatherapist Maggie Tisserand asks whether stress is on the increase, or simply awareness of it (Thu 14 Aug); while healthy lifestyle guru Leslie Kenton reveals new ways to tackle that stress epicentre, the mid-life crisis (Sat 16 Aug). But the crystal surely goes to Lynne Franks, the famed zeitgeist down-shifter (Fri 15 Aug). The once turbo- powered PR woman talks about her recent spiritual guest, which included a spell of meditation With the celibate Hindu women’s sect, the Brama Kumaris.

Finally, for those who want to put theories into action, The Friends Of The Western Buddhist Order (Edinburgh Buddhist Centre) will be teaching techniques to improve ’concentration, calm and emotional warmth.’ A chill-out zone and a half. (Susanna Beaumont)

Buddha: well chilled