front of house


THIS IS THE Blow Up Theatre Group. They are performing at the Gilded Balloon in a play about Graham The Triumphant Sausage who, fortunately, doesn’t appear to be pictured. For us, it was a combination of factors which made this image stand out from the crowd of well composed, well shot and well developed publicity shots which most companies use. Note the camera strap dangling provocatively in the bottom right hand corner and the way in which the photographer has, in effect, signed the image by leaving his foot in shot in the bottom left corner. Add in the

Fest IV- I I l

Largest arts festival in the world it may be but let’s face it, it's hell out there. The List, as always, has your best interests at heart and have identified the major ailments which are likely to affect hard-living festival addicts.

A) Herpes

lack of contrast and the slightly out of focus quality and we think that David Bailey has no reason to be worried.

The Triumphant Sausage (Fringe) Blow Up Theatre Company, Gilded Balloon (Venue

38) 073i 226 2757, 2pm, f5/f6.

: Nut, {’1 "I!"


Now, while it is never a good idea for people in glass houses to throw stones, we couldn’t help but chuckle at Jack McLean's diary in The Scotsman. ‘It wasn't just Sunday yesterday, it was Fringe Sunday,’ wrote McLean emphatically in his column which appeared on Tuesday.

Pottery Wins Prizes? Speculation ls mounting as to who exactly will walk

; off with this year's Perrier

prize and enough dosh to buy a lifetime's supply of the fizzy stuff. At the time of writing, the shortlist hasn't even been announced and thus the bookies haven’t opened a book yet. After a prolonged period of mystic navel-gazing, we predict that pot-thrower and entertainer Johnny Vegas.

will open up as clear favourite but with terrifically short odds. Better value, assuming he makes it to the shortlist, is Arj Barker who is repentant enough about being American to be in with a chance as well as offering a potentially better return. By the way, the Diary is showing a loss of £184.20 on £10 even money stakes since the beginning of the year. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Fright Night

The Diary was just settling into its seat and its popcorn at the premiere of Event Horizon, a chilling sci-fi thriller, when we noticed that the star of the film, Laurence Fishburne,

was, by some strange

quirk of fate, seated directly in front of us with his partner. Despite playing Captain Miller, the

meanest, most fearless mutha to have ever stalked the galaxy, we couldn’t help but notice

. that Fishburne jumped

at every scary moment while his partner didn't flinch an inch. Has the

intergalactic search and rescue squad gone soft?

Fishburne: he's a softie really i

Unlikely as it may seem, or not depending on your score rate, general practitioners are inundated wrth people afflicted with unpleasant burning rashes which appear a couple of weeks after the Festival has ended. Attempts to explain this away to unbelievrng spouses as delayed heat rash from being cooped up in overheated venues tend not to wash.

8) Black eyes

These are symptomatic of trying to explain away ailment A with a distinct lack of success. Other causes are Jealous partners, over-enthusiastic street performers whose cannonball Juggling tricks go spectacularly wrong and, most dangerously, there have been reports of tourists mistaking the local sport of Violent street brawling for community drama and finding themselves involved in a spot of involuntary audience participation.

C) Dehydration

Considerate as it is for venue runners to attempt to minimise the risk of hypothermia among the elderly by turning up the central heating while swrtching off the air conditioning, severe flurd loss, through excessive sweating, can cause disorientation, short breath and clammy underpants.

D) Rehydration

Ailment C has an unfortunate knock- on effect in that it leads to all-out efforts to rehydrate. Despite medical adVice that fresh tap water is the best route to a healthy isotonic balance, generations of Fringe-goers instead swear by the tried and tested method of drinking twelve pints of lager, followed down by four voddies, just in case the lager didn‘t do the trick. Obvrously. Fifty years after the start of the august institution known as the Edinburgh Festival, this proves concluswely that Fringe-goers have a learning curve slower than the evolutionary process.

E) Drinker's elbow

The medical profession used to think that drinker‘s elbow was much like tennis elbow, a muscular injury caused by intense, repetitive use of a usually dormant muscle. in fact, few Fringe fans are strangers to the act of lifting a drink to their lips a couple of hundred times a night. The damage is done after the drink has taken effect and imbibers are incapable of putting one foot in front of the other without going arse over tit. This can also lead to drinker’s knee, drinker's nose and, apparently, drinker's armpit, a rare condition which we'll tell you more about as soon as the staff member wrth the bandaged oxter is capable of coherent speech.

22—28 Aug i997 THE mar 13