Connolly vs Connery

west coast celebdom compare credentials.


Knowing the nuts and bolts of his trade as a Clydeside welder.


Most at home in: Marbella, Spain.

Working-class roots:

and polishing the odd capital coffin.

Despite pretentions as The Man Who Would Be King, only truly wore the crown as Richard The

Regal bearing: Hirsute Highlander who peps up Queen Victoria in Mrs Brown, but

mingles with Andy, Fergie et a/ in

can do it with a smile.

never be seen dead in banana boots.

With names that sound almost identical (at least when uttered in a drunken slur), the high priests of east and

Delivering Fountainbridge's pintas

real life. Lionheart in Robin Hood: Prince

Of Thieves and King Arthur in First Knight.

Favourite sport: Taking a club to the Scottish press. Taking a club to Gleneagles.

Message to the Scottish Also tens unlikely shaggy dog Supplies voiceover for ads

peOpIe: stories. underlining the SNP's electoral credibility.

Role in an independent Press officer President.


Star rating: You might die laughing, but you’d The man has a licence to kill, and

off two male staff) and artistically sensitive, she can be excused for her unfortunate sympathy for Mussolini on libido grounds: Italians in leather boots

spiritual representative in modern times, and can be relied on to take a Dim View of anything remotely enjoyable. Her infinitely redeeming feature is a

got her hot. permanent readiness to supply hacks wrth 'outraged Stuart Sutdiffe of Edinburgh’ quotes. Dead Beatle Wallace Mercer

The original Fifth Beatle and still the best, Sutcliffe was John Lennon’s arty bezzy mate, drafted in to play bass so they could all go to Hamburg, take speed and have it off With German girls on the Reeperbahn He died of a brain haemorrhage in 1962. The Fab Four became famous, flabby and let McCartney get away with sentimental nonsense like 'Yesterday'. These two factors are not unconnected Stu Sutcliffe is


Havmg saved Hearts from extinction, Mercer almost destroyed them A and became universally reviled to

early 90s. One of the worst ideas of all time, as was SWIftly recognised by everyone in the crty.

Sir Walter Scott

VOCk- Crashing bore . . This monumentally pompous hack invented the E d I n b u h n n e historical novel and is thus to blame for Catherine Cookson. He also persuaded George IV to wear kilt John Knox and pink leggings, which means Vivienne Westwood IS his fault too. All the world’s ills lie at Preacher/reformer Scott’s door.

The original weird beard, whose scary book First

Blast Of The Trumpet Against The Monstrous IrV'ne we'Sh

Regiment Of Women marked out as the Radge

fiber-Prodigy. Hated booze and theatre. . R001 cause of Edinburgh's Didn’t have an eye for the ladies. Total 3 , fig-:1; g|0ba| Image as a smack- SWine. U

soaked Iggy Pop video in

the middle of a Tourette's epidemic. Hugely articulate but acts like a iakey on telly. Invented radge cool.

Moira Knox

Retired local politician

Although no genetic link has been established, Councillor Knox is her namesake's

boot ~ when he attempted to merge with Hibs in the



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(Fitz)henry: a brasserie 19 Shore Place. l.eith. 555 6625. Pretentious the title may be. but David Ramsden's elegant warehouse conversion is one of the very fittest restaurants in town. as its Michelin Red M will attest. Fruitmarket Gallery 45 Market Street. 225 2383. Scotland's most prestigious venue for contemporary art. bringing work by some of the world's most happening artists in every field. Also houses an exotically stocked booksho and a superior cafe-bar.

The Gilcfed Balloon 233 Cowgate. 2266550. Not merely the city‘s highest-profile venue for comedy but also Scotland‘s leading comedy promoter. with a country-wide circuit.

Going Places Various venues. occasionally. Retro chic. easy listening sounds and a world of fun and games have gained Going Places almost legendary popularity. Won the ‘()verall best night out' title in our readers' poll for “)7. The Honeycomb 36 Blair Street. 220 438 I. Edinburgh‘s premier club space. purpose-built two years ago. with outstanding design and top nights. including Groove Theory and Taste. Late-opening Italian restaurants It's tint the path to a sylph-like figure. but if you fancy a blowout in the wee sma‘ hours. several places are open late late late. including Bar ltalia l l()() l.othian Road. 228 6379). Bar Napoli (75 Hanover Street. 225 2600) and Gordon's Trattoria (23l High Street. 225 7992).

Leith Shore A classic area of urban regeneration. where yuppification hasn't yet swamped the rough and ready docklands atmosphere. Great pubs. restaurants and views. Leith Walk Between the city centre and l.eith. A mile ofjunk shops. pubs that open absurdly early. Chinese supermarkets. greasy spoons. furniture warehouses. army & navy stores and other delights. Well worth a stroll.

Live mUSIC pubs Not a novelty. of course. btit Edinburgh does it better than most. Folkies could rove the world o‘er without finding a better atmosphere than the Royal Oak ( l Infirmary Street. 557 2976) or the Tron Ceilidh House (9 Hunter Square. 220 l550). Similarly. jazz buffs in search of cool vibes need look no further than Henry's Cellar Bar (8a Morrison Street. 22] 1288) or the equally suberterranean Cellar No. I (la Chambers Street. 225 7l83).

Trish Bayly Chef ’Proximity is why I live in Edinburgh. Proximity to what, I'm not going to say. . . Apart from that there’s too much traffic but other things like Cafe Graffiti make up for it. I don’t go to Glasgow very often but I like it. The trouble is it pisses down all the time there.’

The Oyster Bars l0 Burgess Street. l.eith. 554 6294; 16a Queen Street. 226 2530; 2 Calton Road. 557 2925; 28 West Maitland Street. 225 386l; plus The Bare Story. 253 Cowgate. 556 3953. One of the most successful feeding and watering ventures in the city. offering a good choice of beers and wines; a decent menu until late-ish; snacks till closing (lam in most cases) and some live entertain-ment. Mellow.

Pierre Victoire l0 Victoria Street. 225 I72 I: 8 Union Street. 557 8451; 38 Grassmarket. 226 2442; 3 Dock Place. 555 6I78: l7 Queensferry Street. 226 l890. Pierre‘s franchise empire of value-for-money French restaurants has spread from its original premises in Victoria Street around Edinburgh. to Glasgow. Aberdeen and beyond.

NASA has been asked to keep its eye w open for a branch on Mars.

23 Jan-S Feb 1998 THE UST 17