Comedy is listed by date. then b city. Shows will be listed, providing that details reach our offices at least

ten da in advance of publication. Come listings compiled by Peter Ross.



The Stand The Tron Ceilidh House. Hunter Square. 226 0931. 9—1 lprn. £5 (£4). Weekly. Five acts for five quid is nothing to be sneezed at. Susan Morrison headlines the Friday night for the first time. with support from Neil Anthony and Canada's Glenn Wool. Jane Mackay comperes and there is one open spot for the brave and foolhardy.


h Viv 8i Jill's Cabaret Club Gilded Balloon Studio. 233 Cowgate. 226 6550. 8.30pm (doors open 8pm). £5 (£4). Viv Gee and Jill Peacock invite all dowdy mingers to come along and be trans- formed at their Style Challenge night. Tonight's fashion victims are Polly‘s Band. Allan Miller and Dave Brown.



The Comic Club Blackfriars Underground. 36 Bell Street. 552 5924. 9pm (doors open 8.30pm). £5 (£3.50). Have a laugh beneath the streets at this weekly comedy night. Gordon Brunton. Reg Anderson and Bill Dewar conspire to raise the roof. with Viv Gee as the hostess with the mostest.

EMU-gh Christie's Comedy Cellar WJ. Christie & Son. 27—31 West Port. Tickets: 228 3765. 9.30pm (doors open 9pm). £3. Comedy Off The Cuff. a spontaneous stand-up night. offers a loose. experimental feel with lots of audience participation. Local comedians biting the impro bullet are Sandy Nelson. Stuart Potter and Joe Heenan. Raymond Meams is the com re.

Pint Size Comedy The Tron Ceilidh House. Hunter Square. 226 0931. 8—iOpm. £2. Raise a glass to Allan Miller and loads of really new acts for the price of one measly pint. Who could resist such a bargain?

Polka-dotty: spot Meryl 0' Rourke in Edinburgh and Glasgow this fortnight

72 TIEUST 6—19 Mar 1998

TUESDAY 10 Glasgow

Steve Coogan Royal Concert Hall. 2 Sauchiehall Street. 287 5511. SOLD OUT. See Frontlines. page 4.



Bedazzled The 13th Note. Clyde Street. 221 0414. 10pm. £4.50 (£2.50). First night of a brand-new comedy night on the second Wednesday ofevery month. The Mackerel Conspiracy present unhinged sketches. while TMC and Dick 8; Dick keep the lauglro-meter high. The ubiquitous Viv Gee will also be along. proving that if there‘s a joke to be cracked she'll be there with the punchline. From 11.30pm there's some scary lounge music to bop to.


Cheshire Cat Comedy Club Waxy's. 2t) Candleriggs. 552 8717. 9pm. Free. Weekly club in this newish Merchant (‘ity pub. Spill your foaming flagon laughing for no money at all with Jim Donlan. Silky and Colin Ramonc. Suzanne Fraser takes the open spot.


Christie's Comedy Cellar w.) ( ‘hi-istie & Son. 27—31 West Port. Tickets: 228 3765. 9.30pm (doors open 9pm). £4 (£3). See comedy talent at this regular Thursday night club. Gary Hagen. the compere from Waxy‘s Cheshire Cat night in Glasgow, and Raymond Meams will be doling out the belly laughs. Joe Heenan comperes.

The Stand Canon‘s Gait. 232 (.‘anongate. 556 4481. 9—1 1pm. £4 (£3). Craig Mitchell is cracking gags. Lee ‘the gay Bernard Manning‘ Ness makes his Stand debut. Susan Morrison comperes and there's an open spot. Perrenial Scottish stand-up John Gillick headlines. See The Laughing Bag.



The Stand The Tron Ceilidh House. Hunter Square. 226 0931. 9--l lpm. £5 (£4). Brian Hennigan and Mark Bratchpiece are appearing. Jane Mackay comperes. Perennial Scottish stand-up John Gillick headlines. See The Laughing Bag.

SATURDAY 14 Glasgow

Cosy Comedy Cafe State Bar (downstairs). Holland Street. Charing Cross. 332 2159. 9.30pm (doors open 8.30pm). £4. Fortnightly. Subterranean shenanigans at this regular. laid-back club. with Gordon Brunton. Joe McKenzie and musical satirist Sandy Nelson. Billy Bonkers competes. and there are two open spots.

Joke Box Mister P's Bar/Diner. 42 Wellmeadow Street. Paisley. 561 7l 17. 10.30pm. Free. Fortnightly. Regular Belhaven supported comedy night. Tonight's laughmeisters are Sam Miller and two supports. Strong Glaswegian funnywoman Janey Godley. who is lucky enough to be playing New York on St Patrick’s Day. comperes.

Stu Who? East Kilbride Ans Centre. Old Coach Road. East Kilbride. 01355 261000. 8pm. £6 (£3). The compere of telly's Funny Farm returns to the stage comedy fray. Support comes from Scouser Silky. finalist of the Beeb's Open Mic award. who runs Fife‘s only comedy club.

The Laughing Bag

They make you laugh; we make them squeal. This fortnight: John Gillick.

Square sausage or round? Square. It's not natural for sausage to be round - we

shouldn’t tamper with nature.

Where do you come from, and why? Airdrie, because it would've been unfair to ask my mother to move anywhere else in her condition.

What did you give up for Lent? Self-denial.

What was the first thought that entered your head this morning? Nothing makes a lumpy mattress seem comfortable like an alarm clock.

What's your favourite animal. and why? Lamb. You can do so much with it

hotpots, kebabs, ragout, stifado . . .

You find yourself in a baker‘s shop. What do you buy? An apple square, to

celebrate finally finding myself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To secure his place in comedy folklore; or to get away from the mad cow outside the off-licence.

Who's your perfect date. and why? My girlfriend Katrina, because if I say Emmanuelle Beart, today's date will be on my gravestone.

What word or phrase do you overuse? Overdraft.

What's the best thing about fly-on-the-wall documentaries? Having a gig when

they're on.

Who's a comic genius (yourself excluded)? Michael Portillo.

Trevor Macdonald or Jeremy Paxman? Kirsty Young.

What was the worst holiday you ever had? Butlin‘s, Beirut. 1989.

Where were you when Princess Diana died? I’m saying nothing until 1 see my


What are you looking forward to? Nostalgia - and my next holiday. Have you anything to declare? Ask me when 1 come back from holiday.

(Andrew Burnet)

I John Gillick plays The Stand, Edinburgh Thu 12 & Fri 73 Mar.


Viv & Gill’s Cabaret Club Gilded Balloon Studio. 33.3 Con gate. 226 ()55(). 8.30pm (doors open 8pm). £5 (£4). Do you yearn for the days of Spandati Ballet. Blitz kids and Filofaxes'.’ Then slip on your tablecloth and head down to Viv and Gill‘s 80s night. Prize for the best rouge. eye shadow antl lip gloss combo. Tonight's ytippies are Meryl ()‘ Rourke. Gerry Grant and Jimmy Mooney.


The Comic Club Blackl‘riars Underground. 36 Bell Street. 552 5924. 9pm (doors open 8.30pm). £5 (£3.50). Sam Millar - a formerly homeless stand- up who appears in Gary ()ldman's Nil By Mouth ~ and Meryl ()' Rourke are up from the London circuit and locking comedy horns with home-grown talent Mark Bratchpiece. Viv Gee is the compere.


Christie’s Comedy Cellar WJ. Christie & Son. 27—31 West Port. Tickets: 228 3765. 9.30pm (doors open 8.30pm). £3. The impro-crazed Comedy Off The Cuff night. Imagine Whose Line Is It Anyway?

without the vile Tony Slattery. Raymond Mearns is tonight's MC; while James Donlan and Stuart Murphy aim to have you rolling in the aisles. Also playing is Lee Ness. self-billed as 'the gay Bernard Manning'. One day big Bernie will be describing himself as ‘the straight Lee Ness'. you wait and see.

Pint Sized Comedy The Tron Ceilidh House. Hunter Square. 220 l550. 8—10pm. £2. See Allan Miller and 8—10 other comics for the price ofa pint. He may be cheap. but he‘s funny too.

THURSDAY 19 Edinburgh Christie's Comedy Cellar WJ. Christie & Son. 27—31 West Port. Tickets: 226 6550. 9.30pm (doors open 9pm). £4 (£3). Tonight. Christie's is going Dutch with an Amsterdam Explosion. Martijn Oosterhuis is Holland‘s youngest stand- up and was the first person to perform in a second language on Channel 4's So You Think Yrm 're F unity competition. Bob McLaren is Holland's top English- speaking act. Breaking the Holland theme. Sarf Londoner Meryl O' Rourke is a Comedy Store regular. described as ‘cheerily psychotic'. Jill Peacock is the MC watering the comedic tulips.