Incoming: state of the art graphics

P “PEIW " Incoming

Take a good look at the screenshot above; those in the know reckon that Incoming is going to set the standard for visuals in PC games. The drawback is that you're going to need a 3D accelerator card to play it, but if moving with the times means you get to feast your eyes on graphics of this quality. then it's probably a small price to pay.

One area where the visuals really come into their own is in the small matter of explosions. And there should certainly be plenty of those as. although Incoming has strategic elements. the emphasis is on all-out action.

You see, Incoming isn’t just top-notch eye-candy. it also promises cool gameplay. You play a pilot defending installations against attack by horrible ET types. Luckily, you're aided in this task by a vast array of weaponry and craft including AT-AT guns, lasers, tanks, hovertanks. sand skimmers, stealth boats, rocket launchers. multiple aircraft and helicopters. Each craft has its own primary and secondary weapon from a battery of over twenty.

There are a massive 65 different playing levels, spread over six different environments including land, sea, space and the alien world. In one environment, you must fend off an alien assault on Cape Canaveral.

Sounds good, huh? Don't the makers feel bad that those poor sods without 30 accelerators won’t be able to play their cool game? Lead programmer Ian Moran doesn't feel guilty at all.

'We have to make games that tax the latest hardware and that don’t simply conform to the lowest common denominator.’ he says. 'We are getting the hardware that has wow factor. If people were not interested in better hardware we would still be using Spectrums.’ (Peter Ross)

Incoming is released on Rage, Fri 24 Apr, f 39. 99.

hips and the like, but there's a satirical and absurd streak which raises the game above all that. For example, the opening animated sequence where a patient is literally ejected from the operating table for having a poor credit rating is a neat dig at grasping private clinics. (PR)


Interstate '76: NitroRiders (Activision) £19.99 A .‘a

'Yo man, what's goin' down?’ Well, it’s a sequel to last year's Interstate ’76 lots of driving around at high-speed shooting at other cars with machine guns and bazookas. Basically, taking part in a cross between Mad Max and a blaxploitation movie.

'You jivin' me? I’m gon’ break yo’ ass!’ No, it’s absolutely true. The characters Taurus, Jade and Skeeter jive-talk like it never went out of style and there’s a 705 funk soundtrack. It’s rather good on atmosphere, in fact. And flared trousers.

’Cool, bro'?’ Fairly, yes. But the gameplay's not especially easy to get into, even when you choose novice f level (rather than ’champion' or E 'badass') and the graphics are a touch 2 flat and lacking in detail.

'Git yo’ ass outta here!’ Well, I suppose if you've got a dedicated 3D chipset it might look a bit better. Still, i anyone who's seen Tarantino’s Jackie 5 Brown is going to find this game

compelling. (IG)

Theme Hospital (EA) £40 :

If you're an off-duty nurse, then this is the last game you're going to play as it's as stress-inducing as a 48-hour shift in casualty. Theme HOSpital is brought to you by Bullfrog, the makers of 95 fairground sim Theme Park and, against the odds, it's t0p.

You play a hOSpltal manager who, in the face of an overstretched NHS, thinks he can make a few bucks by building a hospital and curing the locals. The aim of the game is to become the best (and richest) hospital manager in the biz, which you achieve by designing, building and successfully running a number of hospitals.

Critics could argue that Theme Hospital is in poor taste, given the queues of grannies desperate for new


III commmunication: Theme hospital

Totally Wired

This issue: food and drink

The Onion


Essentially an American verSion of Brass Eye or The Day Today, this news spoof is funnier than Steve Coogan at a whoopee cushion factory. Articles are frequently updated, but Current top stories involve a small Texan town who have unveiled the world's largest fibreglass chilli dog, and Clinton's return to the States 'a place I can get a decent sandwuch and don't have to worry about being eaten by rhinos' - after his recent African visit.

Roman Orgy


Perhaps not as debauched as the title suggests, this award-Winning page tells you 'everything you ever wanted to know about the anCIent art of Roman cooking’. Custard sounds a lot more exotic when it's called 'Tiropatinam'.

Addicted To Food


This forms part of a site which is all about being addicted to stuff punters Simply email the food they are addicted to and it's posted online. The messages are very revealing. Apparently 'Bagel Bites are the best food In the world', and nearly 60% of Americans of all ages eat peanut butter at least once a week. Makes you think, dunnit?




Boasting the slogan ’Drink With reckless abandon', this site is dedicated to the joys of getting deranged on the old amber nectar. Look out for the section outlining 401 euphemisms for 'drunk’, including ’beyond lunctional', 'amped on conversation fluid', ’earning a Phd in liver research' and ’happier than a two- peckered puppy'. Marvellous.

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order


This could well be subtitled 'how to be a complete twat while annoying people in the service industry’. Still, some of the entries are horribly inventive such as number 94, 'Have a movie with a good car chase playing loudly in the background. Yell "Ow! when a bullet is fired' and number 57, 'Eliminate verbs

" j A, ' "LUke..’.’ your balls, " to me must

they now be

Yoda Ate My Balls

http:/ com/atemyballs/

I yoda/index.htm|


A classic from the immensely popular Ate My Balls series of pages that are cluttering up the Web. This site, along with Mr T Ate My Balls and Ronald Reagan Ate My Balls, was one of the original three AMB sites. ’Mmm . . . Your balls, eat them I will.’

But master Yoda, " . how will ibecome a Jedi wrth

no bans? l

balls you need not.

In Resident Evil 2


The follow up to one of the world's most successful ever Playstation releases, Resident Evil 2 goes on UK release from Wednesday April 29.

Capcom's long awaited sequel is packed with obscene and disgusting creatures, flesh-eating zombies and gruesome gameplay.

Two lucky winners will win a copy of the game, a T-shirt and a special edition Resident Evil 2 Zippo lighter courtesy of The List by answering the following - In which fictional mid-Western town is Resident Evil 2 set?

Answers on a postcard, by 29 April, if you think you dare, to...

16-30 Apr 1998 THE "ST 109