COMEDY LIST: Sun 10 cont.

Cronin. Chris Hay, Ian Foy, Tom Mark' hows down a 'mmd‘ numbing

Haighton, Dougie Dunlop. John 30d a ‘iaddiSh

McGuinness and Greg Bums hacking Ourribtldrlers this issue are a rung ortwo further down that snake-encircled Calling himself 'the gay Bernard

and slashing on the battlefield of laddertocomedystardom than usual. these intrepid souls are the competitors in Manning', he's fighting the stereotype laughter. See Laughing Bag. the Scottish semlofinal of the Daily Telegraph Open Mic Award, which takes place in of the camp queen. 'It's in your face,’ Pint Sized COMGdY The Sland- 5 Edinburgh this foruilght. To qualify; entrants must satisfy one condition - that they he says of his comedy. 'Its not "a ggéifllggeMi-SlegrplafidzagB: Qg'gnigt-her have neverreceived payment fora comedy gig. Ten finalists will go forward from warm hand at your entrance " stuff.’ comics for the price ofg pint. He may thenineseml-finalstoaGrand FlnalattheEdinburgh Festivall-‘ringe in August. John McGuinness

be cheap. but he‘s funny too. am" omand me“ the contestants.

Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 1—3pm. Tom Haighton

Free. Improvised entertainment with . Jack Weatherall and Paul Graham. Age 19. Comes from Belfast. Medical

Student. Double—acr with Andy Justice.

MONDAY 11 Tom 'big hair at the front' Haighton

Age 37. Comes from Oakley, Fife. Building surveying student.

Married with two teenage kids, John McGuinness was a roof-tiler for

seventeen years. After giving it all up to go to college, he narrowly missed

Edinburgh and his partner in comedy Andy '3“)! being a student at the same time as Red Raw The Stand: 5 York Place» Whizz lookalike' Justice met his seventeen-yearoold daughter. He 1,73,? $55333" fig": engine“ performing in a student play. They calls his act ‘a roof-tiler’s guide to the cogmperes an evening of sets from Sign" get their Open Mic routine 93'3XY'-

eight to ten comedy novices. with thhEd um" two days befo'fithe' Brian cronin

occasional special guests. performance for the competition. We

Age 40. Comes from Northumberland.

stood around shouting at Andy's . . . CiVil engineer.

WEDNESDAY 13 flatmate until he laughed,’ explains

Edinburgh Haighton. When asked to. describe .. v . . i » . u ~ g .. ~ Cronin lives in Allendale, Northumbria, World of Comedy Quiz Show The Andy in one word he replies 'elastic‘. Green,flnge'edz 10m "ammo" and takes his inspiration'from ‘my Stand. 5 York Place, 558 7272. Andy Justice and Andy Justice work. and Simply observmg people 9—10.30pm. £1 to play. free to , and the world'. However peaceable Spectators. 566 Wed 6- A99 20. comes from Readmg- , describes himself as cheery and laid- Cronin might sound, his character Bert PSYChOIQQY StUdent- DOUble‘aCt W'th back. 'i live for the day,’ he tells us. ‘I Crumble proclaims himself to be THURSDAY 14 Tom Halghtono try and make the best of each day and ‘100% barmy barking daft.’ Glasgow 'i live in Marchmont in Edinburgh, i not think long-term.’ Gre Burns Cheshire Cat Comedy Club Waxy's, drink coffee in coffee houses, go to Ian F0 9 20 Candleriggs. 552 8717- 9pm Free- pubs and wee in toilets like everyone Age 24' COWS from caTIUk‘i‘i Billy Bonkers. Danny Boy-and others 9,59,. states Justice. in“ 3 COO, Age 35. Comes from Drumchapel, Lanarkshire. Radio presenter. willeheerfully split your Side-S for Christian, i don't wear beige and We G 3590‘” StUdem menta' heahh Greg Burns lives in Newcastle, where gratis. Raymond Mearns m0ps up the . . . . . . mess_ never eaten quiche in my life. Tom in nurse- he works for Metro FM. The semi-final Gayle mesday Paisley Ans Centre, one word? Erm freaky . . . is “firm” a 'Most of my ideas start off as a bad is his debut gig in Scotland, but he is gfiw Street. 887lelQ.h8pm. 1:50:13). word?’ dream involving donkeys,’ confesses keen to come back for more. ‘My and“ come y W" every , y S ° lan Foy. He puts his sense of humour lifestyle is reflected in my act,’ he

{3’6 .Pagg‘; Three Stunna' Are" brews Doug.e Dunlap down to his background. 'Having lived explains, 'in terms of being a single

' m'ou‘ ' A9e 25- comes "OWK'n'OCh RamOCh in Drumchapel (described by Billy twentysomething, living in his own Edinburgh “ear P'flOCth- Quahf'ed Chet Connolly as a desert with a window) gunk.’ (Stephanie Noblett) Christie's Comedy Cellar W.J. Dougie Dunlop lives on 'noisy but until I was eighteen, I needed to I The Scottish semi-final of the 1998 Christie & Son. 27-31 West Port. enjoyable' Barony Street in Edinburgh. develop a weird sense of humour to Daily Telegraph Open Mic Award is at “eke”: 226 6550 930pm ((1005 When not working as a chef, he plays buffer the negatives of a peripheral the Pleasance, Edinburgh, Sun 10 May. ope" 9pm)‘ £4 (£3)' we'l'establ‘Shed tennis and fiveaside on Sundays. He housing scheme.‘ ~ ' A; -. '*

club at the heart of the local scene. the Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9—-l lpm. £4 (£3). John Gillick. Jack Weatherall and Ria Din crack the gags. Fife funster John McGuiness makes his Stand debut and .loon Broon comperes. There is one open spot.

Chris Hay

Age 21. Comes from Livingston. Computer Science student.

'A series of screw-ups i try to predict,‘ is how Chris Hay describes his life. 'l practise my act on my teddy bears,‘ he adds. 'They don't laugh so I'm prepared if nobody laughs. But if the bears did laugh i'd be well freaked out.’

Lee Ness

Age 26. Comes from Edinburgh. Pensions administrator.

Pressure-free cooker Dougie Dimlop Lee Ness lives in Glasgow with partner 'Gay Bernard Manng' Lee Ness

iii‘i‘is- FJJrL Kilns“ .lii, xi”: .L'.

« i w_/W~\£CTiLEl-A..'iEiPi;tfii ' I ,_ "’ lDEitifli‘}@§fivii-meritintuit-t is :.i*'i‘:._'_.."..".ii.'.is ~ ~ Wednesday a M = grille arches if: "'9 :1 5'

M°the'w°" C°”°°'t Ha" ”“ 30 Midland Streetmasgow _. a - 3

Tickets £10.00

._ .fi; Tues 28 Anrii till sat 2 Mail Passport to Leisure £8.00 ; 1 Bnm

-' if; JAdvance ngck'ifi:Sifitblijgtrggvzgfi I cane. tel: (01698) 267515 Box office: 0141 2214001

or from any North Lanarkshire Library 1mg my comms suong'aflgme

north Ianarkohlro m

.—.—..-...——-.....—-— -~ lDliiillE SliilElJBi'tLLlJiJiillAltltit‘t LlSl

M TIIEIJS‘I’ 30 Apr—14 May 1998