lmogen's Face Scottish, Thu 2 Jul, 9pm.
Face value: Samantha Janus
Okay, there's no clebatrng her top babe status, but Samantha Janus rs more than a tad hacked off wrth all the superfrcral, testosterone-fr‘en/recl medra attentron she’s had of late You can own a brarn as well as perfect trts and ass, you know, boys Set to grace our screens rn the trtle role of Andrea Newman's new three-part serres Imogen’s Fac e, Janus best kllOer for comedy roles rn Game On and the frlm Up ’N’ Under was thrrlled to get the challenge of a serrous dramatrc role And, yes, she does get her krt off, but
Those crazy Mitchells are at it again, but Brookside bores the nation.
'Been anywhere nrce7' ’lsn't anywhere, compared to thrs plac’e?’
Yes, the ever-posrtrve Grant Mrtchell was back rn EastEnders, and whatever the glowerrng slapheacl was domg for two months rn Cyprus, rt clearly drdn’t grve hrrn a tan or rmprove hrs temper
’You can't jUSI walk strarght back rn here,’ sard long-sufferrng wrfe Trff, as she let hrm walk strarght back rn. Peggy, meanwhrle, seemed more concerned that he’d left them wrt'n no one to frx the cooker rather than the slapprng he'd grven her as a gorng away present,
She made hrm promrse not to get vrolent ever agarn, whrch rs a brt lrke vowrng to grow hrs harr back Optrmrstrc. Trffany told Brancja he'd changed thrs trme, really he had.
No wonder Trff's such a mug Just look at her mum Not only clrd Lourse marry Terry, Krng of Loafers, but Just a day after arrrvrng rn the Square, she seems to be rather taken Wrth her son-rn-law. She wouldn’t, would she7
Therr reputatron has even spread to Brookside, where Peter accused Our Lrndsay of 'walkrng round lrke Peggy Mrtchell’. Now, 0 L. has been known to wear some odd lookrng outfrts, but that was surely uncalled for. All she'd done was to call rn some handy Scots gangsters — thankfully not Gerald Kelly thrs trme to deal wrth
96 THE “ST 25 Jun 9 Jul T998
there's no (heap trtrllatron for this gal who stresses rt was absolutely essentral to the drama
'lt's rnsultrng, condescendzng and demeanrng to be rated on one's physrcal attrrbutes at any level, whatever number you reach,’ rants Janus who rust scored number 21 an FHM maga/rne's top totty poll lt's clearly a sore pornt
As lrnogen, Janus rs the radrant, favoured daughter who appears to have sarled through l:fe rn farrytale fashron, much to the drsgust of her ugly-ducklrng srster Amanda, played by lra erlrams The srsters' bond rs close yet complex and, when a seernrngly happrly marrrecl and pregnant Imogen takes a thrrce- rnarrrecl lover, long-held srblrng rrvalrres rear therr ugly heads Then Amanda rs offered a (heap shot to settle the score once and for all
Desc rrbrng Newman’s dense char'acter-dnven drama as the ’sort of thrng that could be happenrng behrncl the doors of any country house you mrght pass every mornrng on the way to work’, Janus says that, rn comparrson, her lrfe and marrrage to an Italran ex-model rs blrssfully srrnple And \vrth another TV cornecly serres and srx-par‘t drama rn the prpelrne, Janus rsn't gorng to let anyone burst her bubble 'l’m Just tryrng to establrsh myself by clorng as many drfferent parts as possrble that aren't
dependent on looks and that \Vlll stop me berng typecast ' She could always try havrng a bad harr day and puttrng on a couple of stone rClarr‘e Prentrcet
.‘ u .o i.' h z: . :2. Grant check: the mad Mitchell bruvva
troublesome ex-hubby Gary, who's back on the scene to demand vrsrtrng rrghts to Our Kylre
Brook/e rs rn a terrrbly fallow perrod, Wrth grrpprng storylrnes rncluclrng Ron Drcko sweeprng up the garage forecourt and lots of tedrous agonrsrng by new resrdent Jason and hrs pregnant grrlfrrend The show has a bad habrt of throwrng new characters at you and expectrng you to care about therr drlemmas rrght away, unlrke EastEnders, where they can be hangrng round rn the background for months before they get a story, They should call rn a scrrpt doctor, and gurckly. (Andrea Mullaneyl
Once upon a trme a TV show could stand on rts own two feet wrthout too much help from advertrsers The cult of product placement seems to have led to the br/arre conclusron that not only should a cornrnodrty be plugged, endorsed and valrdated by a show, but the copywrrter's even get therr own lrttle sketch to rurn your enjoyment of the show In the case of Frasier rChannel 4, Frrdaysr, the brg laughs before the ad break soon drssolve rnto a barrage of abuse at the sponsors’ consrstently unfunny routrne of some guy rn therapy,
So, how utterly rronrc rt rs that Frasrer resrgned on arr due to the malevolent and over-Intrusrve presence of the marketrng mob Thrs was the last rn the outstandrng current serres, but Kelsey Grammer whom rt rs drffrcult to lrsten to these days wrthout rrnagrnrng Bart Srmpson’s arc h-enemy Srdeshow Bob erl undoubtedly be back, and we mrght even frnd out rf eres wrll get rt on wrth Daphne (once known only as a wee hussy rn Coronatron Street)
New sketch show Barking (Channel 4, Wednesdaysr falls vrctrm to the curse that has blrghted the genre srnce the dawn of telly crvrlrsatron for every stormrng routrne, there are a couple of crashrng drsasters Of the former, there rs the manracally hrrsute Maths teacher, Mr Bags'haw, rnadvertently actrng as drug dealer for one of hrs puprls, and the very 90s couple who go to extreme and patronrsrng lengths to make a Hrndu parr feel at home. Less successful rs the psychotrc, prlot (anyone unfortunate enough to have wrtnessed Club Seals at last year’s Frrnge wrll remember thrs Wrth horrorl
Hirsutes you, sir: Mr Bagshaw in Barking
and the predrctably lecherous and polo-necked Mr Bree/e Bark/rig rs not gurte yet the dog's bollocks
It rs a good rdea whrch may yet fulfrl rts promrse, but Beg To Differ rChannel 4, Mondaysr too often asks br/arre guestrons such as 'Is therr a genetrc predrsposrtron for homelessness7' whrch have rnevrtable answers drfferrng not one lot from percerved wrsdom So we had a prece on a foam dome, a desrgner’s dream of how the homeless can look cool whrle on the streets The conclusron7 Nothrng gurte beats a cardboard box and a rug
Then we had a guy scavengrng for bread, meat and veg rn the alleyways of South London before cheerfully presentrng the rngredrents to a clearly repulsed Hugh Fearnley-Whrtrngstall TV chef extraordrnnarre and a man
For every storming routine, there are a couple of crashing disasters. Barking is not quite yet the dog's bollocks.
who appears to have spent more than a rough nrght or two hrmself Hugh proceeded to manufacture Medrterranean grrlled vegetables on garlrc bread wrthout anyone turnrng green not on camera, anyway. Frnally, we had the aforernentroned genetrcs debate ‘Of course, there rsn't' was the rnrtral cry After about one and a half mrnutes of gorng through the ms and outs of the argument, the c‘onclusron was strll 'of c0urse, there rsn't '
Intended as a krnd of 8ch Issue on the small screen, the programme grves a chance for the homeless to get on arr and v0rce therr concerns, but frequently comes across more as a grown-up Why Don’t You? We awart wrth fear and treprdatron an rtem on homelessness berng the new rock 'n’ roll (Brran Donaldson)