front of house

Publicity Shot Of The Week

This is a picture for Eggplant, a show which, according to the Fringe programme, marks Ripley Theatre’s seventh consecutive Edinburgh Fringe appearance. Eggplant is a ’new play about two cousins, two very different fathers and two sides to the same story’. We were none the wiser after that so we turned to the picture files and came up with this little gem. The phrase ’two very different fathers’ was less prominent in our minds than the phrase ’two very different species’ but there you go. Apparently, it’s someone called Greg Ashton playing the part of a character called Tom. We have another theory: since Edinburgh is home to Murrayfield rugby ground, we know that Welsh rugby fans comé in all shapes and sizes but this particular beauty was a new one on us. That’s the worst case of cauliflower ear we’ve ever seen.

If we stop being facetious for a brief moment, then you can find out more for yourselves by heading to the Harry Younger Hall (Venue 13) at 3.20pm, until Sat 22.

Continued from page 27

perfectly sane, clutching an Armstrong's bag and enjoying the morning sunshine. The only clue that Kesey is not like other people came after he had passed your correspondent. Kesey had a bag slung across his back in much the same manner as many tourists wear small rucksacks. Kesey’s bag was in the shape of what can only be described as a trout. Obviously.


The attentive among you may have noticed the Becks’ rickshaws which are on hand to ferry the more indolent Festival-goer around town. One rickshaw-puller in particular has had a bit of a spring in his step after picking up a

28'I'IIEIJ3T 6-13 Aug 1998

fare from outside one of Edinburgh’s casinos. It was late at night, or early in the morning depending on which way you want to look at it, and our rickshaw driver was considering packing it in for the night. On the verge of trundling home, he was hailed by a man leaving the casino who asked if he would take him to Niddrie, one of Edinburgh’s less well- favoured housing estates that is several miles from the city centre. Once he’d finished laughing, the rickshaw driver explained that he really didn't think he could lug his fare all that distance at four in the morning. The casino-goer replied by pulling an unfeasibly large wad of high denomination notes from his jacket and peeling off 200 quid. Needless to say, the rickshaw wallah

suddenly felt a new burst of energy and practically flew to Niddrie. En route, it transpired that his fare was fifteen grand to the better after his little flutter.

Trouser snake

Finally, over to the recent Film Festival party to celebrate the premiere of Velvet Goldmine starring Ewan McGregor. Some female acquaintances of Front Of House decided that they would gatecrash the boys' bogs because the queue for the ladies’ was bladder-burstingly long. Taking a deep breath they steamed in and were stopped in their tracks by the sight of the kilt- wearing McGregor relieving himself at the urinal. Uncharacteristically struck dumb, they didn't even attempt to sneak a glance


One third of Corky and the Juice Pigs and one man mirth machine, Sean Cullen is appearing in his own show Wood, Cheese and Children.

Q) What was the first joke you ever heard?

A) Say 'Pull my finger’ and when the person does, you fart. It made us laugh in the playground.

Q) What is the best joke you ever heard?

A) See above,

Q) What have you got in your pocket?

A) A Volkswagen Beetle and a cat called Chi Chi.

Q) You would die happily if. . .

A) Chi Chi would stop ilriwng the Beetle.

Q) What is or was a juice pig anyway?

A) An angel With teeth or a heavy set nian singing funny songs

Q) People should come to see your show because. . .

A) It's funny and if you don't I'll set fire to Chi Chi

Q) What one thing would improve the Edinburgh Festival?

A) Movuig it to Rio De Janeiio

Q) What's the most effective hangover cure?

A) Death

32525; Wood, Cheese Anil Children (Fringe) Sean Cullen, Gilded Balloon ll (venue 36) 226 275 7, until 37 Aug, 8 45pm, {8/[7 50 ([7/[6 50,)

Ewan McGregor: object of lust for many

at the McGregor wedding got his empty beer bottle,’ tackle but waited until he swooned one. ’His lips have

had composed himself been around it so when l

before sw00ping for autographs and the like. 'I

touch it to my lips it's the same as kissing Ewan.‘