The Laughing Bag They make you laugh; we make them squeal.

this issue with flame-haired Liane Ellis. ..

The Laughing Bag resumes

Square sausage or round? Square. It fits better between

What makes you lau h? _

Sex and beans. Sorry though you said, ’what makes you fart?’ The same sex and beans.

If you were a cake what kind of cake would you be?

Gingerbread. I’m ginge from the top of my head to the hairs on my toes. I’m also spicy and moist and every now and again you come across a chewy bit that's hard to swallow.

What’s the item in your handbag right now that most sums up your life?

My Mr Potato Head keyring. It’s a similar shape. Parts of my body keep relocating when I’m not looking.

Tell us a joke, then.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Teacakes or Caramel Wafers?

Caramel Wafers. The reason is unprintable.

If your last partner was a pair of shoes, what kind of shoes would

the?! be? Dr choll sandals. Wooden, cold, uncomfortable and my mother chucked

them out the first tune they hurt me.

What's the worst chat-up line you've ever heard?

’I can’t believe yoo’re out so late. Surely you should be in bed?’ (Compiled by Stephanie Noblett)

S Liane Ellis (orirperes Red Raw at The Stand every Monday night.

Ryvita. I am obviously health conscious.

Mischief Le Bar Cathedral House Hotel. 28 Cathedral Square. 552 3519.15ree. See

Edinburgh :

Christie's Comedy Cellar \H.

Christie's. 228 3765. 9pm. £4 (£3). 1 Compete Joe Heenan is joined by Stuart 5 . Potter. David Kay and Dave Williams. Edlnblll‘gh

with an open mic spot by Alison Munro. . The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm.

above. Thursday I.

The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. 1 £6 (£4 - unwaged only). Frankie Boyle. £4 (£3). 8pm, With Sandy Nelson. Bitter Susan Morrison and Sandy Nelson with Benny. Martin l-ur'by' and a Stand debttt guest compere Alex Boardmari. plus one for Jane Christie. .loori Br'oon competes. open mic spot.

Edinburgh Glasgow

The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7222. 8pm. Comic Club Blackft'iais. 36 Bell Street. £5 (£4). A Friday iitglit comedy 552 5924. ()pm (doors open 8.30pm). £5 spectacular. featuring .-\le\ Boai'diiian. (£3.50). Alex Boardnian headlines. with .larie MacKay and Sandy Nelson. with support from David K and Liane Sime.

guest compei'e l-rankie Beale. plus one I . ' 1 Edinburgh

open Iltlc‘ spot. 3 Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? The Stand. Glasgow 5 York Place. 558 7272. l -3pltt. Enjoy Mischief Le Bar Cathedral House Hotel. free improvisation with a meal or just 28 Cathedral Square. 552 35 l‘).l“ree. See drinks with resident dtto Jack Weatherall aboy e. Thursday 1. and Paul (it‘ahaitt.

Comedy Off The Cuff (‘hi-istie's SATURDAY 3

Comedy Cellar. Wl Christie's. 22. 3765. 9pm. £4 (£3). Ravmond Mearns Glasgow ' Cosy Comedy Cafe State Bar (downstairs). 148 Holland Street.

hosts tonight‘s show. with guests Joe Heenan. James Doiilaii and Kevin Charrng Cross. 3 32 215‘). 9.30pm (doors oper18.30pni) £4 (£3). Janey (iodley.

S ience.

Pint-Sized Comedy The Stand. 5 York (Jary Hagen and Richard Allen. competed by Billy Boiikcis.

Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. £2.50 (£2). Six acts tncludrng Sandy Nelson. with resident host Allan Miller.

MONDAY 5 Edinburgh Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. £1. Liane lillis plays host to eight or so absolute beginners and special guest Alex Boardman.


John Hegley Arches. Midland Street. 2214001. 8.30pm. £8 (£4). ()n the day his new book Beyond ()ttr Kennel is published. the four-eyed. dog-owning. mandolin-stratumirig poet and humourist visits Glasgow to unveil his new material.

TUESDAY 6 Edinburgh Brian Hennigan‘s House Of Fun The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. Free to watch. £1 to play. Team up to play the BIG board games. See Laughing Bag.

. WEDNESDAY 7 Edinburgh

World Of Comedy Quiz Show 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. Free to spectators. £1 to play. Bill Dewar hosts the quiz that tests your learnedness in the field of laughter. with a cash prize to be won.



Scott Capurro Collier Theatre. 93 Hyridland Street. 357 3868. 8pm. £8. Filthy. sarcastic and merciless to his victims - who says gay Californians have to be cute'.’ ()n the other hand. there's no denying .\1r Capurro is a very. very funny man.

3 E g =.

x \. 5’5." \‘ "it i s » .\\ 3A . I \ \ D‘s’ ._

listings GDMEDY

Cheshire Cat Comedy Club Waxy’s. 2O Candleriggs. 552 8717. 9.30pm (doors open at 9pm). Free. Weekly. Tonight: Sandy Nelson. David Kilby and Gary Hagen.

Cosy Comedy Cafe State Bar (downstairs). 148 Holland Street. Charing Cross. 332 215‘). 9.30pm (doors open 8.30pm). £4 (£3). Neil Shackleton. David Kaye and Reg ‘Voodoo‘ Anderson feature on tonight‘s roster of ribtickling.

Velvet Cabaret Velvet Rooms. 520 Sauchiehall Street. Tickets are free but must be booked on 0141 338 2908. Sketches from the BBC"s regular Velvet crew plus stand-tip from a guest comedian to he confirmed. An edited version of the show is broadcast tomorrow night on BBC Radio Scotland.

Mischief Le Bar Cathedral House Hotel. 28 Cathedral Square. 552 351‘).l‘ree. See above. Thursday 1.


Tartan Tantrum Comedy Club Canon’s Gait. 232 Canongate. 550 4481. information: 558 8178. 8pm. £5 (£4). New fortnightly venture organised at venues in both Edinburgh and Glasgow by tip-and-coiiiing gay comic Lee Ness. Tonight. he introduces a bill that includes live music. Gerry Cirant. John McCiuinness. Billy Bonkers. Ria Dirt. Free food and a glass of bubbly will be offered as an introductory offer. The Stand 5 York P1ace.558 7272. 8pm. £4 (£3). Stand debut for Toby Hadoke and Rutherford (k Mer‘son.

joined by Jack Weatherall. competed by

.loon Broon plus one open mic spot. Christie’s Comedy Cellar \VJ. Christie‘s. 228 3765. 9pm. £4 (£3). Joe Heenan plays host to Craig ('rookston. Dougie Dunlop and Janey (iodley'.

2‘s '5 I+ 4 i' 3 £3); . k ' Festival! 7:- H o o ' o 0 V c I I II I

M Sepfl8 Oct 1998 THE usr 65