True confessions: Paul Merton in And This Is Me, Edinburgh, Sat 5 and Glasgow, Sun 6

The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. £4 (£3). 8pm. Allan Miller. Brian Hennigan.(‘o1in Ramone and Frankie Gallacher (see Laughing Bag). compered by Joon Broon.


Mischief Le Bar (‘alhedi'al House Hotel. 28 ('athedi‘al Square. 552 351‘). 1'rom 7pm. l‘ree. See Thu 3


The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. £5 (£4). Jane .\l;tckay coiiiperes a night of stand-up with Michael Redmond. John Hint. Paul .\lc.\'eill and (‘olin Ramone.



Cosy Comedy Cafe State Bar (downstairs). 148 llollaiid Street. Charing Cross. 332 215‘). l).3()pm doors open 8.30pnil. £4 (£5). Ria 1)iii. Dougie 1)tinlop and a headline act to he announced ('oiiipered by Billy lioiikei's. See rey iew

Joke Box .\li'1"s 1i;ii‘/’1)iiiei.»l2 \Vellntcatltm S1. Paisley. .561 ‘1 17

ll) 30pm l‘i'ee Raymond .\learns competes a night ol stand-up w itli Sandy Nelson.

1)a\ id Kay atid another act to he conl‘irnied, Mischief Le Bar (‘athedi'al House Hotel. 28 ('athedral Square. 552 351‘). l-i'oiii 7pm, Free. See Thu 3


The Stand 5 Yolk Place. 558 7272. 8pm. £6 (£4 llll w aged conc only i. Allait Miller. Colin Ramone. .\licliae1 Redmond aiid Paul McNeil]. all introduced by resident coiiipei'e Jane Mackay


Comic Club Blackl'riars 1‘iidei'gt'otind. in Bell Street. 552 5‘)2~1.1)oors 8. illpiii. show 0pm. £5 (L5 501. 1)a\ e Williams headlines. \\ itli Allan .\li11er.A1aii Merson and Ian Rtithei‘lord taking the support slols. 5


Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1-3pm. liree. Enjoy inspired improyisational comedy to accompany a meal or inst drinks. ' courtesy of resident dtio .lack Weatherall and Paul Graham.

Comedy Off The Cuff (‘hiis-i'it-x Comedy (‘ellaiz \\',,l. Christie's. 228 3765. 9pm. £4 (£31. Raymond Mearns competes with Skank. Scottish psychic Madam Moo Moo and a mystery Christmas headliner ' I

Pint-Sized Comedy The Slaiid. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. £2.50 (£2).

Allan Miller hosts a night of newer acts. with a guest slot by The Unlikely Lads.



Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. L‘ 1. Liane lillis hosts a night ol' ner\ es eight or so absolute beginners plus occasional special guests.


Brian Hennigan's House Of Fun The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. Free to watch. £1 to play. Team tip to play the BIG hoard games and win the tasty pri/es.



World Of Comedy Quiz Show 5 York Place. 558 7272. ‘lpm. l‘ree to spectators. £1 to play. Bill Dewar hosts the regular \Illl/ on all matters comedic. with a cash jackpot to he won.



Cheshire Cat Comedy Club Waxy-is. 211(‘andleriggs. 552 8717. 9.30pm ldoot‘s open at 9pm 1. Free. Weekly. Allan Miller. 1)ll\'lt1 Kilhy and (,iary Hagen. introduced by coitipere Raymond .\leariis.

Cosy Comedy Cafe State Bar 1t1ti\\'llsl;tlt‘sl. 1-18 Holland Slt‘eel. ('1iaiiiig ('ioss. 352 215‘), ‘).31)pinldoors open 8.3(lpiiti. £~11£5L Punk comic C'oliti Raiiione. (iraeiiie 'l‘lioiiias plus open spots. Lt‘llll‘L‘l't‘d by Hill} lionkers See

Mischief Le Bar (‘atliedi‘al 11ottse11ole1. 28 ('atliedi'al Square. 552 351‘) 1"iom 7pm. 1'1L‘t‘ See 11in 3


Christie's Comedy Celler \\‘ .l. Christie's. 228 3765 5)Pl‘ll.£41£31..ltic lleenan competes. with Reg ‘\'oodoo' Andeisoii. .i (‘1iristie'sdehut for John (iordon and headliner \'i\ (ice.

The Stand 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. L11 1‘; i i. (‘oiiipeie .1titill lii'ooii introduces headliner .lo Mackenzie. plus Rutherford (k Merson. Bitter Benny and one open sptll.

Tartan Tantrum Comedy Club The (‘anon's (iait. 232 ('aiioiigate. 55h 4-181. Information: 558 8178. 8pm. £5 (£4). Fortnightly. Details ot' tonight‘s acts to be contained

listings THEATRE

The Laughing Bag

They make you laugh; we make them squeal. This fortnight, ’predatory Iesbian’ Frankie GaIIacher.

Square sausage or round? I'm from North Yorkshire where sausages are only a straight shape and all dewation is the work of the Dewl

Describe your looks.

Veronica Lake meets Shergar

What's your preferred mode of transport?

Roman chariot With blades on the wheels, driven by a buxom wench

What's the most outrageous item in your wardrobe?

it has to be. the 1960s topless dress With matching tiara - only for special performances

What's your favourite thing about being abducted by aliens?

1001 to see my friend Brian from Bonnybridge

If your current partner was a lamp, what kind of lamp would she be?

One \‘Jlil‘x a sensor that turns itself on at the slightest movement.

Tell us a joke then.

The worst thing your girlfriend could ever say after making love: ’Get your clothes on and get out of my bed you SOunded Just like your mother.’

What five items would you take to a desert island?

Just the necessities of life ~ girlfriend, sex toys, champagne, copy of Gone with the Wind, Green & Black's organic chocolate ice cream.

(Compiled by Stephanie Noblett)

Frankie Géi/h'iC/K’f appears regularly at The Stand, Edinburgh Catch her there On Thu 70 Dec She is also MC at Divine Divas, at The Venue, Edinburgh, on the last Friday of everv month

347 Dec 1998 THELIST77