As late as Monday night there were faint rallying cries to join the worshipful order of Noddy Holder and his badly spelt Xmas. Trawling through the Habitat sale looking for late (yes, late) Christmas presents, overheard a couple planning their Millennium Dinner table decor. Managed to resist the urge to give them scabs in interesting places and consoled self with thought that, come this time next year, a lifetime of latent pressure to party like it's

1999 will be over.

The year 2000 has been our cruel stepmother for generations, and I have grown up twisted and

W H E R E WA 3

Resolutions should be broken, not made, reckons GILL MILLS as her diary already feels bugged by the Millennium.

There are communities in the South of Mexico who, with the aid of some trusty mescal and a natural proclivity to party, can make their Hogmanay last three weeks. The Scots may not quite be up to that calibre yet, but this year's extended celebrations have enabled everyone to take this annual holiday and shake it like a puppy until it hangs lifeless in their

something like that. Surfing the wave of nausea that always threatens to engulf me whenever questions of personal denial are involved, begin a preliminary

list of resolutions. Preliminary, mind you, and late

As the New Year slinks in like a cheating husband, the cold wife of your conscience lies bloated on its side in the dark and looks to the future.

stunted in its lumpy shadow. Unlike our elders, we disenfranchised twentysomethings have had no time (or reliable income) to charter Concorde or book an island. However, more than one individual is hiring themselves out as a £2000 a pop babysitter. Ultimate revenge on smug 30-desperate-for-a-last-party-

something family diners.

As the New Year slinks in like a cheating husband, the cold wife of your conscience lies bloated on its side in the dark and looks to the future. Or


Poll faced

Re: The Li'st's readers’ poll results Patriotism is all very well, and Peter Mullah was pretty good, but are you seriously Suggesting that My Name Is Joe was the BEST Fllel of 19987 Whither Boogie Nights7 Jackie Brown7 The Ice Storm? Cinematic work, not Just extended and updated Play For Today clones. Ken Loach is a talented, committed indiVidual, but Joe was no better than and scarcely very different from -- Raining Stones or Riff Raff The other films I've mentioned were as movmg as Loach's and in every case far more interesting to look at. And don't get me started about Starship Troopers

Philip Pollock,


Editor. In this case, the readers’ decision was final -- but seeing as you’ve got rather good film taste otherWise (especial/y Boogie Nights), enjoy a bottle of Smirnoff Blue

TV switch off

I know it’s becoming a bit of a cliche to complain about this every year, but was any One else disappointed by the

8 THE lIST 7 2i la" 1998

retractions are admissible. While struggling to draught the apology letter to all venues visited

during the festive frenzy, resolve to acquaint myself with computer's handy help functions that sit idly by as l individually spellcheck each worm

Rabid with the zeal of the freshly converted, meet up with BF for inspiration. Somewhat sceptical about her cunning aversion weight loss plan involving placing unpleasant foreign bodies in her favourite restaurant dishes. More impressed by her firm desire to have children before the release of the new Star

Wars film. Parry that she could have three while

waiting for the arrival of Shut.

Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide

One habit that will remain sacrosanct is consumer

therapy, so enter the healing spas of the Fraser’s sale. While wriggling out of an over-one-shoulder boob tube, discover another easy to keep resolution no matter what the bargain, say no to inopportune fashion statements. Pay for sensible charcoal trousers instead.

Struggle home and notice flat garden boxes are still loitering like surly neds on my window ledge. During the enforced house arrest that is the month of January, will develop green fingers (speaking of which, will also remove nail polish before it takes on the look of a Pontins paint job circa 1982), and discover the whereabouts of the immersion heater. Mentally totting up list of no resolutions, decide to make like a Roman leader and add a month or so on to the calendar. That way we get to put off the Millennium and have extra time to fulfil our forgotten resolutions. Happy New Year!

Gill Mills is on Radio Scotland, Suns 7-8pm; co-hosts Beat Room on BBC Choice, weekdays, 1 1.30pm; and co-hosts Loafers on BBC Choice, hie-Fri, 11pm.

issue wins a bottle of

Start scribbling, because the best letter each

Smirnoff Blue

quality of teleVision this festive season7 Pic king up my copy of Radio Times, I flipped through, eager to plan out my Winter holidays in front of the box Much to my disgust, there was sod all on Aside from the Johnny Depp film season, what else was there to keep as amused7 Sort it out next year Otherwise, we might have to venture Outside perish the thought Alison Flint


I“ ..

stakes, while a Gallup poll suggests we’re not all that sceptical at all. l like to think I'm up on my current affairs, but Euro-wise I’m not

While I’m at it, how come everyone and their mother tall the mothers I know anywayi had Sydney flu over the festive period, and yet the Virus apparently only infects 80 in every rnillion people7 T. Brussels Edinburgh (by e-mail). Editor We’d ask our health correspondent about the flu pOint, but they’re off sick at the moment

Boogie Nights: better than My Name Is Joe?

Euro vision

So are we into the Euro or ii( what7 Yesterday, I picked up

Guardian and read that the great

British public say no to the EL according to The Scotsman o

same day, i.‘.re're galloping towards the

single currency With our PM.

reigns. To further confuse matters, a Sun readers' poll puts the new coinage way down iii the popularity

Letters page . The List Mag321ne

° t 14 ngh Stpee u Edinburgh le 1TH e-mail: editor@list.co.uk fax; 0131 557 8500


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