0 I saw you every day at work. When Our Sun grows cold and dres, the f:re yOu lrt an my heart wrli (GED on burning, You're all I need gorgeous, c ever, funny, auburn. Let's make rt work Meet me left of centre?

0 I saw you buxom grnger beauty, garly grgglrng at leBS In Waterstones. I asked yOu f0r a date, you sard no. Was It because I et Off In yOur shop?

0 I saw you DavId, workrng rn Sat’eways, East Crargs, You Checked me out and scanned my hea;tny basket. Care to sWrtch?

O I saw you You look a Drt rough, yOU Smei‘ awful and yOur make-up 's normally all over yOur Y'ace. You are the most beaatrt'ul woman rn the world The Romancer

110 THE lIST 4—18 rer: I999

0 I saw you I wll see you In court, Mark, aka Dorran Gray Drvorce rs around the corner. I dont bereve you sleep rn yOur offrce The truth rnUst Out. Your devoted wrfe, Sarah XXX

Th ? parntrng rs stzll rn the attrc for the moment.

V I saw you l was the jay- waikrng and spectacled pedestrran you swore at and [rust mrssed .runnrng over on Lertb Walk. YOU were drrvrng a very cool Morrrs Mrnor surf van and look a lrttle lrke Nana MOuSkOUI'i l was birnclecl by yOur beauty and shocked by yOur ar‘guage Sorry you mrssed me, I’d sove to be yOur bonnet mascot.

0 I saw you (iQd.-'I' II My t’luf‘y wuft’y sheep. Just when I thought rt was over,

you appeared on a hrll off the A9 please meet me at 'nrdnrght, OutSIde the

Clac harg

0 I saw you on the 8am trarn to Edrnburgh YOU blew yOur nose wrth your glasses cloth I’m no drrp, but YOU blew me away too.

0 I saw you buyrng pants In Markres YOU decrcled three for £10 was a bargarn. Drg the strrpey ones.

V I saw you fondlrng 'nuftrns and frttrng frve drgestrves In your mouth, rer‘reshrng the parts |

coulun I reach, at the Parkhead Forge My eyes are rhOrst untrl your return.

V I saw you at Lroerty's rn Dundee You were stuck rn a (.Ubrcle berno srck Wrth your pants round your ankles Plenty glam though, pet.

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U I saw you Strrlrng to Glasgow trarn, tryrng to hrde your copy of the Karma Sutra behrnd your Rangers News It drdn’t work, drd you?

0 I saw you You were at my flat on Sunday. l was not. YOU have my stereo. How abOUt a rendezvous at my brother’s flat. I’ll be there wrth hrs mates, Brrng stereo U I saw you all harr-cirps, greasy harr and no socks rn the Strlls cafe. Very, very TIICC.

U I saw you leanrng from yOur car w.ndow to shout how brg my bum rs, as l cycled through Byres Road/Great Western Road Cross. You've met my bum. I'd lrke y0u to meet my frst, V I saw you wrth sp ders an your bar and a gammy leg.

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You drab-c rt‘y lr'i-Br‘u .ke a brg Can't mat to see you I". that l:ttle back Coeran number.

9 I saw you my Irtte prawn cracker. Two and one make three cOUrses, I'd rather play chopstrcks duet Order yocrr takeaway soon, Mrstress Wong. I\lrstress Wrxght wanna wok thrs way.

I saw you the blond ger rn Bradford's Bakery. YOU sold me a rnandarrn danrsn. l blushed and spat by accrdent. Next trme7 Next trme I'll know better, and behave.

0 I saw you I keep SGGIITQ you, Susan, on Nrcolson Street Frrst l iobbed a dead prqeon at you; then a prec e of weidrng egu:pment, but you strll haven’t seen me' Look out for more mrs’srr'es.