Pint-Sized Comedy The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. £2.50 (£2). Allan Miller returns with live new acts and guest closer Alan McQueen. Christie's Comedy Cellar WJ. Christie & Son. 27—3l West Port. 228 3765. 9pm. £3. The ltnproy'erts tnake it up as they go along.

The Bear Pit \N'J. Christie & Son. 27—3] West Port. 228 37o5. lam. See Thu 4.

East Kilbride

Stick It Up Your Empire hast Kilhritle Arts Centre. ()ld (Toacli Road. () l 355 2()l()()(). 8pm. to (£3). Kevin l)eyine competes this new comedy quiz night with Susan Morrison. Vladimir McTayislt. Dave \\"tlli;tttis. Ciortlon Bt'lllllOll. Donna Kracltatt and Michael Redmond.


Laugh Out Loud l.‘.»\ttache Basement. Waterloo Street. Signs that this fledgling night may be about to take tlight. Allan Miller headlines \y itlt Robert Knox. Aileen Hendry and one open spot.

The Comic Club Blacktriars l.‘nderground. 3o Bell Street. 552 5924. 8pm. £4. Class of ()9 sees Strathclyde Uni stand up students giving it the old college try.


Red Raw 'l‘lte Stattd. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. 1; l. Alison Monroe is the closer. but not before l.tane lillis ltas put eight neyyconters through their paces. The Bear Pit WJ. Christie & Soit. 27~3l West Port. 228 3765. lain. See Thu 4.



Dallas 8: Parker (‘ottier theatre. ()3 llyndland Street. 357 saris. Spin. C‘ontedy dtto fresh from their I.ondon sell

listings COMEDY

John Shuttleworth: charming as ever

John Shuttleworth

Glasgow: Cottier Theatre, Fri l2 Mar. Kirkaldy, Adam Smith Theatre, Sat 13 Mar. John Shuttleworth, the Sheffield maestro of all things Yamaha is what‘s known in the business as a stayer. From humble beginnings on the pub circuit, through breakthrough performances on Jonathan Ross' Saturday 200, to television rockumentaries, Shuttleworth has maintained a consistent profile of quiet dignity. It takes a lot to get this been-there, done-that pro's dander up, but a certain confectionery manufacturer has

managed to do just that.

'There is one thing I’ve noticed in ten years in the business, travelling up and down the country. It made me so angry I’ve been unable to mention it until now, but I feel the time has come to break the silence. It’s the decision quite arbitrary to remove the cardboard inlay from the Bounty bar. This happened ten years ago, and its time someone spoke out. I’ve written a song about the issue.’ When he's riled, Shuttleworth can be quite the protest singer, so the good people at Mars HQ should take heed. The rest of us can go along and show support when his Ken’s Karvery tour hits

Scotland this month.

The premise (John would never go in for anything as pretentious as a concept) of the show is simple: the organist has landed a dream residency at the eponymous eaterie, but things begin to go wrong when his dinner lady wife Mary fails to show, leaving Ken in charge of catering. One dish definitely not on the menu is pigeon, excluded for sentimental reasons (Shuttleworth immortalised his feathered friends in keyboard classic Pigeons In Flight), and because of the strange effect they have on the


'I remember one occasion when Ken ordered pigeon in a restaurant and when it was placed before him he began to coo, quite unconsciously, but I pointed out to him that he was in fact cooing. He didn't respond, he just tucked into the bird’s tasty flesh.’ (Rob Fraser)

out residency for one night only lll Scotland. Very funny. Daily Mail ('rittcs Choice Hinge ()8.

* Edinburgh

Brian Hennigan's House Of Fun 'l‘he

; Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8pm. El

per person to play. See The ‘J. The Bear Pit \\'..l. (‘lttistte A; Son. 27 il West Port. 22S 37o5. lain. See lltti -l.

Gumbernauld Dorothy Paul (‘ttnthetnattld illtfltllc‘. ls'ildruni. tll23o "3255\7. 7,-l5jun L“)


L'Attache’, Glasgow. Mon 22 Feb

In an obscure corner of Glasgow lies a dimly lit French cafe bar masquerading as a pub. Downstairs at L'Attaché is cavernous, the walls adorned with Toulouse Lautrec prints and the tables with punters who like a drink. Come Monday nights and the pub becomes a venue, providing a forum for local and foreign comedy talent. Our compere for the evening is Dezzy, an energetic man in a velvet suit aided by an abusive DJ, Ricky, who regales the crowd with ironic mother jokes. Not particularly inspiring in himself, Dezzy serves best as a link between the acts to follow. There are two Grants performing here this evening, the first Grant McManus is a little too self conscious at times to be warming up this straight-faced crowd. Grant Murphy, on the other hand, is confident in the extreme, and as tonight’s open mic guest, he's even allowed to use notes. A

Ciara Murphy: Not Bitter

Scottish/ Canadian, his act consists of comparing the idiosyncrasies of the two countries, which range from the properties of Lemonade to Countdown. Not particularly original, perhaps, but wittily observed.

The highlight of the evening is Ciara Murphy, a genius veering between breathy 405 American actress and bored upper class housewife. Her piece de resistance, however, involves a re-make of the Hitchcock film Dial M for Murder. Substituting Lorraine Kelly for her American namesake, Murphy creates a side-Splitting murder scene featuring a very evil Kirsty Wark and Emu as her accomplice in madness. She‘s Eddie lzzard with less make-up and more Glasgow, and what more could we desire?

As Comedy Clubs go, Laugh Out Loud is still at the teething stage: a little shy, a little insecure, a little confused. However, with acts like Ciara Murphy on their roster, those baby teeth could soon become fangs. (Nicky Agate)

Ito). (ilasyyegtan comic presents her new sltoyy. "l'lte i'tlll Dorothy '


Lenny Beige l ~ottter 'l'ltealt'e. 93 lly'ndland Street. ‘57 WM. Spin. Lounge-tasttc cotttetly front the tttedallion al'l‘ecting songstttttlt and ladies

It's A Scream ( m lets. loo Hyl't's‘ Road. 333 Ml! S ~15pttt. E-l (U). I ('onttc tjtttps and tltttlyhles li'ont Ciayin I \‘y'ehstcr. Richard ;\llen and comp .laney (iotlley.


World Of Comedy Quiz The Stand 5 York Place. 555' i ‘2, 9pm. El per t‘t't'SUll to play. See \\t'd Ill.

The Bear Pit \YJ Christie A: Son. 27".“ West Port. 22\ .i7ti5 law. See 'l‘hu J.

Gumbernauld Dorothy Paul (‘urihernattltl 'l‘heatre. Kiltlruin. lll23tt’ {‘557.7.~15t)lli.b‘) (Lit). 5LT itit‘ if)



Cosy Comedy Cafe The State Bar. 148 llollantl Street. 332 2 l 5‘). 9.30pm. £5 i (H t. liilly lionkers \yelconies some as yet ttncottttt'nietl cotneily friends.


The Stand 5 York Place. 558 .7272. 9pm. L'l {tit Hill l>eyy at \‘.llil support from coitttc duo Rutherford .tntl .\lerson and l-iank Quinn. .loott liroon hosts. Christie's Comedy Cellar Wt. Christie & Son. 27 31 West Port. 228 3765. 0.30pm. U tt‘il. Noel James. of Channel is (im tattle. headlines

The Bear Pit \\'..l. ('hristie A; Son. 27 5| West Port. 228 ,i7o5. lattt. Sec Thu 4.

Donna Krachan: We apologise for the error II) the last issue e. Inch stated that Donna ls'raclian would be performing at the lion ('etltdlt House on l'it'iday

l‘l i‘t‘hl'llitl‘}. rather than at The Stand. We regret any confusion caused to our readers. or distress to Ms Krachan.

.: ts Uta: was THE LIST65