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Oh yes, it's that millennium bug Armageddon thing, that's it.

You'd be wise to worry, with less than 140 days to blast off let's see what the nuclear powers have to say about the bug day.

In January 1999 the US. Deputy Defence Secretary John Harme said. "The Y2K problem is the electronic equivalent of the El Nino and there will be nasty surprises around the globe"


And what about the Russians? How are they preparing? Igor Sergeyev, Russia’s defence minister, said recently.”There is no danger since in the Strategic Missile Forces we use special technologies."

Yeah right.

Perhaps Igor should have a word with his comrade General Yakovlev.

He was recently invited to attend a demonstration, deep in the bowels of US. strategic command. Those with responsibility for the most deadly weapons on Earth turned the clock ahead to January lst 2000. On witnessing the complete collapse of the world's nuclear early warning system and the resulting nuclear exchange, Yakovlev's response was short and to the point.

"The Russian translation was something like "Holy Shitski” said Air Force Brigadier General Robert Behler.

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But look on the bright side, Presidents [linton and Yeltsin have now agreed to establish a system for exchanging information on missile launches and early warning. Unfortunately the joint 05. - Russian early warning centre, planned for Moscow, will not be ready until after

January lst.

We're not making this up.

So, would now be a good time to offer you the chance to hire an ex Ministry of Defence nuclear bunker for the exclusive use of you and up to 199 of your very closest friends? Thought so. We might even consider taking a number of smaller bookings, so don't give up hope if you can't find enough friends who'd like to help you personally

re-populate the planet].

Naturally the place comes with all mod cons: hermetically sealed three ton blast doors; a filter against radioactive particles, gas and biological warfare, its own emergency generator and (this is the real life saver], a

public house licence.

The sanctuary in question is Scotland's Secret Bunker nestled 150 metres below the beautiful Fife coastline and now one of the country's

finest tourist attractions.

If this sounds to you like the coolest place on earth for your millennium bash [not to mention the safest] then contact Leslie Wilkinson and he'll help you arrange the party to end all parties [perhaps literally].

It truly is the only way to make sure the

evening goes with a bang and not the guests.