Nicola Hicks

It is a srnrster place and it ensnared the writer Will Self. Nicola Hicks’s drawrngs and sculptures are of half-human, half-beast creatures that appear to inhabit a shadowy terrain. Last year, EngLit’s enfant terrible Visited the London-based artist’s studio and was so taken by her sculpture of a rabbit-l'reacled woman that he dashed off a short story about rt. Self’s dark tale, ’The Camel That Broke The Straw's Back', wrll accompany Hicks’s first solo exhibition in Scofland.

Prose And Cons is at the Gallery Of Modern Art, Glasgow, Fri 5 Nov- Sun 30 Jan.


Pushed through the mailboxes of most Edinburgh households last month was the new IKEA 2000 catalogue as the Swedish home gurus prepared to make their Scottish debut. Causing normally reserved adults to l’iyperventrlate at the mere thought of lacquered aluminium pendant lamps, galvanised bins rpic‘turedl and sectionable sofas, the new store wrll offer thousands of designer-look home furnishing lines. Above all, rt wrll save on the weekend convoys to the Gateshead store.

IKEA Edinburgh opens on Thu 4 Nov, 70am, Straiton Road, Loanhead, Edinburgh, 0737 448 0500


l llllllll'

The World Stare-Out Championship Final

Alessandro Kampagnola. Sigmund Spassky. Yuri Uzlian. Lloyd Obidrah. Sid Hartha. Sports heroes one and all. Quite how this serious game made its way onto a BBC comedy sketch show -~ Big Train is bizarre and almost disrespectful. As the countdown to the final begins, tickets are selling quickly and it looks like being a complete 73,000 plus sell-out at the North Park Stadium. Enjoy complete, uninterrupted coverage of stare—out masters at work With match commentators David Joyce and John Barrington.

The World Stare-Out Championship Final by Paul Hatcher is published by Bloomsbury, priced f 7. 99.

6 THE UST 4—18 Nov 1999

Hello darkness, my old frrencl As openers go, I've always wanted to start \Vlii‘ sometlmg as immediately evoc atne as that ore‘erably not at "av :mmr'rev‘t neblrex'. s ("rastcw 'rg lt.r‘c.", though

The reason ‘or‘ 1.“. s c; oov‘r, preface“ \"veii, desp=te corttrrxi'ng advances n the marc'r agarr‘st crime, day ol". robbery takes t)rd((? to. ce a year Indeed, it 2s sanc :- )l‘(’(i Snatched from right undo our very noses, an entire nour of our life is spirited away or tacked on, b0und to be

loses track of time


\'.’ho sad ’.'.'.as oka\ to tamper t'._tl‘ cr"e ci‘ the feu'. renrarrriv‘g co"stan'.s l." our lives‘ l\'ia'r age rs a non-sta'ter Home ()\"."t”\".|l‘ is no o'rciei a t: Most people are conte'". t“ a oh that lasts 'Zil lur‘c'n, neue' "2 r‘c: "’e And there are ac fua ‘. some ‘ree gitts you world“ at petrol statioi‘s

So, it gtttr doe'. ‘ke dett:r‘.g at) .‘.."e.'r ts (tar-c, )ecorne a t;)""(’(l "raszc ah o' Bl entitle. "e styr'te' lust do'r". Tiaf‘rrrre z)" 0:) l'atlie' limes foes, c>t"tii‘.‘* chaos ml} desc ("‘(l Hate the cler‘trst'sr‘ rla'.e your teeth removed and legislate only pu'eecl ‘oocl :vr public places No I‘lllt‘ lor Chr'str'tas‘ S'r.‘t t to the o't'y Monday in islay that 'sr‘ ta bank l‘.() 'day and create a

Confused grannies, high on Dunkirk spirit, litter Argyle Street, rattling shop doors and demanding entrance to Poundstretcher at 7.30am.

returned once we have adjusted and create merry havoc With our body clocks once again

During the changeover, the airwaves resonate wrth hilarious stories of loved ones expiring due to mistrmed irredic'ation administration Confused grannies, high on Dunkirk spirit, lrtter Argyle Street, rattling shop doors and demanding entrance to Poundstretcher at 7 30am. A thousand potential love affairs are dashed on the rocks of circumstance as lone figures freeze outside cinema doors and restaurant bookings go unchecked The nation drags itself from pillar to post, suffering the most horrendous case of temporal Jetlag, and yet nobody complains

Why? Well, in the past, kids didn't want to go to school in the dark Productrvrty levels fell as folk slipped into a daylight- deprrved torpor when they rose at 6am to mine the coalfac'e Rickets and scurvy aboundecl Life was grim It was time for drastic measures and so Greenwrch decided to colonralrse time. The once immovable concept of the 24- hour day became flexible, and now twrce a year we are expected to turn a blind eye to linearity in order to create the grand illusion of more daylrght

month-roi‘g bac c itaria a to r val a pie-mil enr‘atiin T8 30 dande' fuelled by snakeute and 'T‘OSCdll'tO feeling a hit strappedj Tell everyone their £10 notes are now worth {20 and mad l‘ the madness contrrrer‘ce, alt'rouglr Italy has slrc>wn a. the dangers of ililS Paying one million ire for a

turta rhelt ‘«.'.ii| 'rever induce

feelings c)‘ o'osne" tv Desb:te t"e< ea' need for a

re-tnie-c, rco"trnue to

march tine t" ti‘e lrnonrg step of d 7a“."‘e' (‘i'eer‘t'nch and hrs cronies lvlourning the loss of ai‘ hour and all that could have been achieved in it rdisembov.ellr'rg TV blondes under seven stor‘e, eradicating all musicals from the British Film Institute arc hive; \VlH not nelp us through the next few days of total disorientation and missed TV programmes If this chaos ensues rrrerely from altering the clocks, what's going to happen come Y2K7 Pass me the key to the bunker —- at least the timeline will remain the same

Gill Mills co-presents Radio 1 '5 Evening Session opt-out, Session In Scotland, every Thu, 8-10pm; co-hosts The Loafers on BBC Choice, Tue-Fri, 10pm; and presents Hot Pursuits on BBC Knowledge, Radio Scotland.