Wed 22 Dec (not Sun 19). 7.30pm; 18, 20—22 Dec 2.30pm & 7.30pm. £6 (£3). This festive show misses out the first six voyages, but you’re guaranteed the seventh one will be filled with magic, music and mayhem!

FALKIRK TOWN HALL

West Bridge Street, 01324 506850. The Happy Gang's Cracking Christmas Wed 29 Dec. 11am & 2.30pm. See Kids listings page 87.

GAIETY THEATRE

Carrick Street, Ayr. 01292 611222. [[1, WC, WA]

Sleeping Beauty Until Sat 15 Jan (not Sun 19, Sat 25-Sun 26, Fri 31-Sun 2). Times vary, phone theatre for details. £7—£10(£5—£7.50). Dean Park and Tony Roper star in the Gaiety's seasonal spectacular.

GREENOCK ARTS GUILD

Campbell Street, 01475 723038. [11, WA]

Sleeping Beauty Until Sat 18 Dec. 7.30pm. £4—£4.50. Greenock Players present this seasonal tale of damsels in distress and dashing heroes.

HOWDEN PARK CENTRE

Howden, Livingston. 01506 433634. [R WC, WA]

Hansel 8t Gretel Fri l7-Sat 18 Dec. Fri 2.30pm; Sat 10.30am & 2.30pm. See Kids listings page 87.

ADAM SMITH THEATRE

Bennochy Road, Kirkcaldy. 01592 412929. [R H, WC, WA]

Beauty And The Beast Until Sat 15 Jan (not Sun 19, Sat 25, Sun 26, Fri 31 Dec—Sun 2 Jan). Times vary, phone theatre for details. £8.50 (£6); family ticket £24. A pantomime for all the family, filled with fun, laughter, romance, fantasy and magic featuring stars from TV's High Road.

MOTHERWELL THEATRE

Civic Centre, Windmillhill Street, 01698 267515. [R WC, WA]

Mother Goose Until Fri 31 Dec (not Sun 19, Sun 26). 1.30pm & 7.30pm; 31 Dec 11am & 3.30pm. £5.75. Fun entertainment for all the family starring Dave Anderson, Brenda Cochrane and Gary Denis.

PALACE THEATRE

9 Green Street, Kilrnarnock. 01563 523590.

Babes In The Wood Until Sat 8 Jan (not Sun 19, Sat 25—Sun 26 Dec, Sat 1—Sun 2 Jan). Times vary, phone theatre for details. £7.75-£8.75 (£6.75-£7.50). The Palace Theatre present their Christmas panto with High Road's Catriona Evans as Maid Marion, BBC‘s Mr Wymi, lain Gouck as the nurse and Jim Byars as the evil Sheriff (boo, hiss).

ROTHES HALLS

Rothes Square, Glenrothes. 01592 611101. [R WC. WA]

The Happy Gang's Cracking Christmas Thu 23 Dec. 2.30pm. £5 (£4). See Kids listings page 87.

MACROBERT University of Stirling, 01786 461081. (P, H, WC. WA]

The Princess And The Goblin Until Sat 8 Jan (not Sun l9—Mon 20, Sat 25 Dec, Sat l—Sun 2 Jan). Times vary, phone theatre for details. £9.50 (£6.50). Join Princess lrene on a magical, musical adventure as she explores the forbidden world beyond the Palace gates. From the creative team that produced Merlin The Magnificent and Beauty And The Beast.

VILLAGE THEATRE

Maxwell Drive, East Kilbride. 013552 48669.

Dick Whittington Until Sat 18 Dee. 7.30pm; Sat 2pm & 7.30pm. £5 (£3.50). A traditional panto filled with glitter and sparkle. villains and heroes.

in

listings

Comedy is listed b date, then by ci? Performances will lie listed provrde that details reach our offices at least eight days before publication. Comedy listings compiled by Steve Cramer.

THURSDAY 16

Glasgow

Cosy Comedy Cafe The State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 9.30pm. £6. Hyperactive humour from special guest Phil Kay, plus James Cameron, compere Billy Bonkers and support to be confirmed.

Edinburgh

The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). It used to be said that Ireland was the world‘s biggest exporter of nuns however, recent evidence would suggest that they are building up their balance of trade credit with comedians instead. Paddy Courtney follows in the steps of many of his countrymen to brave these shores. with support from Teddy and Paul McNeill, plus compere Joon Broon.

Glasgow

Jester's Comedy On The Corner Mansions Cafe-Bar, 63 St George‘s Road, info: 333 1418. 8pm. £5 (£4). The second night of this new comedy happening featuring Bill Dewar, Brian Hennigan, Dougie Dunlop and comp Janey Godley. Gilded Balloon Comedy Queen Margaret Union, 22 University Gardens, 339 9784. 9pm. Students and guests only. Studious stand-up humour from Joe Heenan, Dave Williams and Gordon Brunton part of the Christmas Cheesy Pop all-nighter. Smirnoff Comedy Cellar Bacchus, 80 Glassford Street, 572 0080. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Inducing smiles under the Smirnoff banner are Gerry Grant, John Flint and Raymond Mearns.

Edinburgh

The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.15pm. £6 (£5). Standing up for stand-up at The Stand are John Gillick, Paddy Courtney and Glen Lamont. The compere is Susan Morrison.

SATURDAY 18

Glasgow

Cosy Comedy Cafe The State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Festive fun and frivolity with James Donlan, Martin Benn and Dougie Dunlop.

Edinburgh

The Stand 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.15pm. £7 (£4). The details are the same as Fri 17, except Jane Mackay is the compere.

Parsley

Joke Box Mister PS, 42 Wellmeadow Street, 561 7117. 10pm. Free. Neil Shackleton, Lee Ness, Susanne Fraser and compere Janey Godley strut their funny stuff.

Edinburgh

Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. l—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. Inspired improv courtesy of Stand stalwarts Jack and Paul. Pint-Sized Comedy The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8pm. £2.50 (£2). Allan Miller is your host and, for the price of a pint, you get five newer acts plus a seasoned closer.

Kirkcaldy

Fife Comedy Club Path Tavern, Mid Street, 01592 263671. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Another craic-ing comedy selection. featuring Paddy Courtney, Dougie Dunlop and Joon Broon.

listings COMEDY

Phil Kay/Noel James

’. .

Glasgow: King Tut's Wah Wah Hut, Fri 10 Dec a it a it

i.

lf comedy is the new rock 'n' roll, then Phil Kay is The Sex Pistols. Blurring the line between humour and insanity, Kay's anarchic performance approaches meltdown with a display so energetic, you'd swear the men in

white coats were hiding backstage.

If all this sounds like exaggeration, try to imagine a big hairy Scotsman screaming down at you from a spotlit stage, pausing only to swill his mouth outwith hot wax from a nearby candle. When he's not scaring the shit out of his audience, Kay's surreal and mostly improvised approach is much more hit than miss, its sheer unpredictability making for a hilarious, if exhausting

routine.

Kay's comedic psychosis combines well with Noel James’s own take on the 'psychologically problematic' theme. The latter's sedate eccentricity renders even the most intentionally crap qags laugh-worthy. His whistle-stop tour through a warped imagination is, like Kay's, the kind of humour that depends greatly on expert delivery, and both these guys do the 'nervous breakdown' thing with such confidence that, if off-the-wall humour’s your

bag, you’ll be laughing like a maniac.

Tonight's compere, Craig Hill, is so talented it's worth going just to hear his Celine Dion impression alone, so the only thing that lets down this line-up is King Tut's criminal lack of adequate seating. Get there early if you don't want to be standing up yourself for most of the night. (Olly Lassman)

largs

The Comedy Church Flanagan's Bar, 48—52 Gallowgatc Square, 01475 675767. 9.30pm. Free. Representing the broad church of stand-up are Susanne l’raser. Dave Williams and regular comp Ra) mond Mearns.

Edinburgh

Red Raw The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8pm. £1. Keara Murphy steps in as host of this novice night, featuring eight guaranteed comedy virgins plus a more experienced closer.

TUESDAY 21

Edinburgh

Christmas Comedy Special The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). Christmas cheer with four Stand regulars. “0, ho, ho's provided by Jane Mackay. Susan Morrison. Allan Miller. and one other.

THURSDAY 23

Glasgow Cosy Comedy Cafe 1 he State Bar, 148 Holland Street. 332 2159. 9.30pm. £5 (£4).

l’cstive fun with John (iillick. l‘rn Mac.’\rlhur and your regular host. Hilly Bonkers.

? Glasgow Jester's Comedy On The Corner Mansions

MONDAY 20 i

Cafe—liar, 63 St (ieorge's Road, info; 333 1418. 8pm. £5 (£4). Coming out “Hill the Christmas crackers are (‘raig ('rookston, Viv (ice and comp Janey Godley

DDXIIIG DAY

Glasgow Cosy Comedy Cafe The State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 332 2159. 9.30pm. £5 (£4).

Deadpan tlrollness from headliner Michael Redmond, plus Bill Bruce and support to be

confirmed.

Free And Easy The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. l—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. Get your regular fix of improvisational antics as Sunday afternoon duo Jack Weatherall and Paul Graham go daily. I’m! offing/nullity Hour/est.

Continued over page

16 Dec 1999 -6 Jan 2000 THE lIST 67