about whether people will like stuff. but we never do that. I suppose with Families At War we did a bit: we tried to make it a game show that would work on Saturday nights.
VR: But in the same way we did have someone boxing a bed to below the height of an alsation. Which was a coup to have on Saturday night on BBC 1.
BM: There was some really great stuff
on that. but there was such high pressure and there’s nothing in it for you. we probably did it to spite ourselves. We handed in the idea and said we didn‘t really want to do it. you know get Lenny or Jonathan but when they commissioned it they said will you do the pilot. lay down the template of how it should be done. but we did it and thought. ‘Fuck it. let‘s just do it‘.
VR: Denise van Outen was in the original and it was just going to be the families doing the skills, but we livened it up a bit. Originally. there'd be some bloke running for two miles with weights on his back. so we thought ‘Let’s put Leo Sayer on his back‘.
TL: What’s the best thing you‘ve done?
VR: I like the first part of The Weekenders and the club in Bang.
Bang. Looking back I‘d rather watch The Ii’i’ﬂkt’llt/(UZY than Big Night Out. BM: I think The Smell ()f. I‘d had a lovely gap of not seeing any for four years and I watched one again and it was just fabulously ptlt together. I never think of Shooting Stars as being that great. When I think of it. I think of the arsing about we had doing it and not what was actually broadcast. TL: What is your motivation. now? BM: We want to continue working on productions where there are pretty girls who have to be nice to you. I’m stopping murdering. I‘m fed up with that. I would like us to be considered really intelligent. You know how people think David Baddiel and Stephen Fry as intelligent and think of us as stupid. I‘d like to turn the tables and be considered highbrow.
VR: I have about ten books going at the one time. I read an interview with Alexei Sayle the other day and he said that he could go through the alphabet and name any gun for every letter. AK47. Barretta.
BM: Colt 45.
BM: There's the Derringer. The Enﬁekl
VR: Firearms. (Pause) I‘ve started taking pictures of dog dirt. But I’m going to move on to do other dirts. I‘ve covered dogs quite extensively. BM: (‘atsl
VR: Well. I want to do birds and cows. BM: Don‘t do cows. just for me. Cowpats aren't interesting.
VR: Bird shit is good. because you get them on bonnets of cars and you get nice bright colours behind them. And they hit with impact.
BM: What about lly shit? It‘s as black as the ace of spades. There‘s some Ilies going about in winter. what‘s that all about? I've seen them in the bathroom.
Above Randall 8: Hopkirk (Deceased), below left to right At Home With Vic And Bob, The Smell Of Reeves And Mortimer and Shooting Stars
'l've started taking pictures ofdog dirt'
TL: What else intrigues you these days?
VR: Electricity is one of the biggest mysteries of the post-war world.
BM: That‘s fair comment.
VR: It hangs in the air but we never see it.
BM: Do you think it could ever be taken over by something else?
BM: I was listening to the radio today and someone was saying with absolute authority that we will not need language at the end of this millennium.
BM: I don’t know. Something to do with all this internet shit. and it’ll be pointless speaking.
BM: Don’t take it out on me. I haven't presented his case as well as he did. TL: What words do you use most in a day?
BM: ‘Fuck'. ‘Fuck’ and ‘cock'. ‘My fucking cock is on fire again.’ What is it. though. is it ‘a‘ or ‘the’?
BM: ‘1‘ ‘pint’ ‘fuck’. You can get by on that. more or less. Though. if I wanted to get home that wouldn‘t be enough. would it? How would I stop a taxi?
VR: You‘d just shout ‘pint me’ and he‘d take you to a pub. And then ‘pint me‘. off to another one and eventually you’d have been to all of them.
BM: That's no way to live. It’d take you about 30 years to get borne. You could have ‘home‘ written on your hand.
VR: I think you could probably get it down to about ten words to get you through life.
Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) starts on BBC1, Sat 18 Mar, 8.55pm.
16—30 Mar 2000 THE lI$T21