Totally wired

The world of the web

Brass Eye Transcripts www.koekie.org.uk/funnel/brasseye/

With the taste of jam Slill fresh in Our mouths, fans of Chris lvlorns can wallow in the Sublime media terrorism of Brass Eye, which has sadly been gone from our screens for the last three years. We eagerly await the next proiect from the little scamp.

Roger's Profanisaurus

www.indigo.ndirect.co.uk/profanisa urus/rog_.rm.htm

(IQger’s 1‘

PROFANISAURUS

Non-Viz fans can leave now. Honestly, Roget's famous thesaurus has been perverted by the very essence of crude: Roger Mellie, man on the telly. Originally released With the comic, ih!S site has been continuOusly updated srnce. Those With hearts far from faint may enjoy this swearathon, otherWise it's best avorded. I picked up Quite a few chOice phrases though.

Word Perhect

www.chisenhale.org.uk/ch2/

'As word processing software becomes ever more advanced, wrth the ability to correct syntax and spelling errors, these familiar programmes begin to impose a standardised corporate language onto Our writing, subtly altering its meaning.’ This Is a fully-working conceptual space that attempts to reclaim meaning back from the software. Very interesting.

Dr Seuss Goes To War

http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/ speccoll/dspolitic/

Dr Seuss, aka Theodor Geisel, is chiefly known for his amazing children's books, but during World

War II he was the chief editorial cartoonist for the 405 New York newspaper, PM. There are some 400 political cartoons to View here, demonstrating a style later loved by children on a very different level.

Space Voyages

http:vaww.spacevoyages.com/

$12,595?

Machines

Ever fanCied being a space cadet? \Nell now yOu can Simply spend $98,000 and you can recreate the legendary JOurney of Alan Shepard 62 miles in the air. This Will surely be

the most breathtaking and expensive half hour of your life. Too scary? Then why not fly a RUSSldn MiG-25 80,000 feet above the earth's surface (no pilot's licence necessary) for only

Things That Have Been Sold In Vending

www.chaparraltree.com/vending/

And yOu thought they jUSI sold chewrng gum, fags and something for the weekend. This site attempts to list some of the most br/arre ObJECIS ever to be sold in vending machines. Like the machine in Pans that would measme your waist, then deposit a pair of Jeans. And that's Just skimming the surface: plastic models of submarines (made on the spot), frogs, condoms to match your blood type, frogs to match your condoms (made that one up).

The Interactive E- skeleton www.eskeletons.org/

Even if you think you have no interest in the human skeleton, this sute you could still learn something from. Choose a bone in the body, and View it in 30; twist and turn and skim over a very accurate representation of the bone. Compare the structure With a baboon's or a chimpanzees, and all-in-all it's an amazrng learning experience, even if you’re not an anatomist. 00 give it some time to download, as the structures are very detailed.

(Steve Blair)

0N-LINE Auction sites

If you’ve ever fancied the idea of trying your luck at an auction, but fear the potential for scratching that itchy ear only to end up the proud owner of a stuffed mongoose, then virtual bidding may be the answer. A flock of internet auction sites appeared recently, tempting us with items as varied as a dream holiday in the sun to that elusive Pokemon card to complete your collection.

One of the most enjoyable sites is www.firedup.com, home of online haggling. Pam is your interactive hostess, a glamorous but tough cookie, who'll introduce you to this fine art. Choose your item, make a bid and listen to her contempt. ‘l'm willing to forgive you for that little joke, friend,’ she spits, taking no prisoners until you come up with an acceptable offer. You get the feeling you're being hoodwinked, but it's addictive stuff. Firedup.com divides up its goods by category, like many of these sites, veering from clothing to travel and property.

If you're willing to do a swap, rather than just bid cash, check out www.webswappers.com. One featured swap was from someone who wanted volunteers for charity and was prepared to give up their 6ft Lara Croft statue. There's a good choice of categories including 'Weird And Wonderful', where a seller with a sheepskin boot and signed Sive photo is willing to swap them for ’anything' (no wonder); ’Job Swaps' which sadly concentrates on charities and work experience rather than letting you jack in the nine to five for the life of an international playboy; and

r 311 .

Star Wars bidding starts low

‘Parenting And Babies’ which, you'll be relieved to learn, has a selection of prams and cots and isn’t the source of a child-selling scandal.

www.aucland.co.uk is one of the larger sites, it’s ’premier auctions' include gold and silver records from the likes of Pink Floyd and Barbara Streisand, and once again it's a goldmine for collectors; relive your childhood Star Wars obsession with a vintage Chief Chirpa complete with weapon where the bidding starts at only £5.50.

www.goricardo.co.uk was launched in the UK this year after the success of ricardo.de in Germany, and it's a very highly developed site. Its auctions have included Formula One racing cars, a tropical island and even a one-man submarine, so if you fancy entering the big league stop off here.

Other sites to www.ebid.co.uk, www.qx|.com. (Louisa Pearson)

consider: www.e-Bay.com. www.uk-bid.co.uk and

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