Support comes from three newer acts including Graeme Thomas.

MONDAY 10

Edinburgh

Red Raw The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30pm—10.30am. £1. Ten stand-up newcomers are put through their paces by compere Stevie G, with guest closer Teddy. Be gentle.

TUESDAY 11

Edinburgh

Oot: Out On Tuesday The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £5. Screaming good humour from comp Craig Hill and games host Cormac O’Hara. Tonight’s guests are mother figure Mrs Barbara Nice and magician-cum-comic Mandy Muden.

Glasgow

Vigorous Lime Comedy Club Nice ‘n’ Sleazy, 421 Sauchiehall Street, 333 0900. Everyone's favourite Scots funnyman Phil Kay kick-starts this new comic club with some intellectual endeavours. Support comes from Sandy Nelson and Reg Anderson.

Edinburgh

Rhymes And Misdemeanours The Stand. 5 York Place, 558 7272. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). Punchy poetry and witty words from resident wordsmiths Eric Davidson, Donna Krachan, Brendan Moohan plus special guest Richard Allen.

Gilded Balloon Studio Gilded Balloon, 233 Cowgate. 226 6550. 8.30—9.3()pm. Free. Fancy being the guinea pig for new routines for no pennies whatsoever?

Your chance to catch a free festival preview alongside some stand-up debutantcs continues.

East Kilbride

Comic Club At The Stuart Hotel The Stuart Hotel, Cornwall Street, 01355 221161. 8.30pm. Free. East Kilbride’s new comedy hot-spot is headlined by Joe Heenan, with support from Alan Anderson and resident MC Viv Gee.

THURSDAY 13

Glasgow

The Stand The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm—10.30am. £4 (£3). Two-man variety act, The Unlikely Lads, keep the punters chuckling with impressions, sketches and audience participation. Back-up from Teddy, Allan McQueen and resident comp Frankie Boyle.

Edinburgh

The Stand The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). Manic mayhem from headline act Allan Miller, with support from John Gordon, John Littlejohn and comp Joon Broon.

FRIDAY 14 Glasgow

Jester's Comedy Club Mansion’s Cafe Bar, 63 St George’s Road, 333 1418. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). Newcastle’s Gavin Webster delivers his sharp one-liners and pub philosophy. Also getting the gags in are Dougie Dunlop, Viv Gee and compere Janey Godley.

The Stand The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Liverpool’s guitar-wielding satirist and ex-member of Skint Video, Steve Gribben, laps up the laughter. Allan Miller, John Littlejohn, John Gordon and MC Jane Mackay build up to the big event

Edinburgh

Scruffy Murphy's One Comedy Night Scruffy Murphy‘s, 49/50 George [V Bridge, 225 1681. 8pm. Free. See Fri 7. The Stand The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.15pm. £6 (£5). Comedy crackers

from Jo Jo Smith and Teddy, with Brian Hennigan and Bill Dewar in their Useless Guide To Scotland show. Your compere for this evening’s shenanigans is Susan Morrison. See panel.

SATURDAY 15

Glasgow

Viv 8: Jill Mansion’s Cafe Bar, 63 St George’s Road, 333 1418. 8.30pm. £6 (£5). Comedy wordsmiths Viv Gee and Jill Peacock join forces for a night of cabaret and comic ma hem.

Comedy At King Tut s King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut, 272a St Vincent Street, 221 5279. 9pm. £8 (£7). Tonight’s event is the semi-final for the BBC Comedy Awards, featuring Gas presenter Lee Mack and local laughmeister Phil Kay.

The Stand The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £7 (£4). See Fri 14, with host Susan Morrison. Madcap Comedy Club State Bar, 148 Holland Street, 357 5387. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Sharp one-liners, observations and put-downs from Newcastle’s Gavin Webster. Support acts Bill Bruce and Mike Milligan assault those funny bones and Raymond Mearns comps.

Madcap Comedy Club The Fotheringay, 17—21 Nithsdale Road, 357 5387. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Stand-up stars glittering this evening include Dougie Dunlop and Geordie jester Gavin Webster, with one other act to be continued. Billy Bonkers comperes.

Edinburgh

The Stand The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.15pm. £7 (£4). Same as Fri 14, except Jane Mackay comperes.

Paisley

Cream Of Comedy Mister P’s, 42 Wellmeadow Street, 561 7117. 9.30pm. Free. Mike Milligan tops the bill alongside resident compere Raymond Mearns.

SUNDAY, 16

Glasgow

The Allan Miller Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £3 (£2). Boisterous baloney from local lad Allan Miller in his solo stand-up show.

The Comic Club Blackfriars, 36 Bell Street, 552 5924. 9pm. £5 (£4). Gavin Webster indulges your comedy cravings with support from Lou Chawner, Reg Anderson and resident host Viv Gee.

Edinburgh

Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 1—3pm. Free with drinks or a meal. See Sun 9.

SOS: Six On Sunday The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30—1().30pm. £3 (£2). Gags galore from six seasoned comedians including Bill Dewar, Paul McNeill and Martin Furby. Graeme Thomas comperes.

MONDAY 17 Edinburgh Red Raw The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 8.30—10.30pm. £1. Ten absolute beginners try out their new routines under the watchful eye of Bruce Devlin and guest closer Paul McNeill. At only £1, it’s value for money humiliation.

TUESDAY 18 Edinburgh Skitters The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). More sketches and skits from the Skitters squad including Julie Coombe, John Gillick, Jon Hazelton, Gerard Madill and Colin Ramone.

WEDNESDAY 19 Glasgow

Vigorous Comedy Club Nice ‘n‘ Sleazy, 421 Sauchiehall Street, 3330900. 9pm. £4 (£3). Guaranteed guffaws from Gordon Brunton, with Silky and

listings GDMEDY

COMEDY CLUB

The Useless Guide To Scotland Edinburghzihe Stand, Fri l4—Sat 15 Jul; Glasgow: The Stand, Thu 20 Jul.

Are Bill Dewar and Brian Hennigan comprehensively pointless?

'Oh, it’s absolutely completely, comprehensively pointless,’ says Bill Dewar affirming that the long-running show run by himself and Brian Hennigan can't be sued under the Trade Descriptions Act. Dewar has been in partnership with Hennigan for this sketch-based comedy show since March 1998. So broad ranging is its redundant subject matter that Dewar has trouble getting it into a sentence: ’It’s about politics, religion, society and pies and bridies. There’s a lot of meat-based products involved in the show.’ The duo appear not only in their own show on the first Tuesday of every month at The Stand in Edinburgh, but more recently as support for The Stand’s Friday and Saturday night headliners, as well as such regular gigs as this month’s Fred MacAulay Show. Dewar ascribes the success of their combination to contrasting characters. ‘l’m a working-class fat bastard from East Lothian, whereas Brian is more of a raconteur. He goes to things like dinner parties. For me, a dinner party is two people eating a fish supper in the same room. But we enjoy ourselves when we go on. People can see we're having a good time out there, and they respond to that. Besides there's a lot of stand-ups around; Brian and l are stand-ups in our own right, but this is something different. Sketches give the audience a chance to just engage with what's going on, they don't have to interact. like you do with a

stand-up.’

This pair hope that the next step will be broadcasting, so act sharpish while you can still catch them being useless in the flesh. (Steve Cramer)

Greenock’s comic duo Paul and Ray completing the line-up.

Edinburgh

Maverick Magic The Stand, 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). Premier of hour-long show featuring magic, music and mayhem from Reg ‘voodoo’ Anderson and special guest Steven Dick.

Gilded Balloon Studio Gilded Balloon, 233 Cowgate, 226 6550. 8.30—9.30pm. Free. See Wed 12.

East Kilbrido

Comic Club At The Stuart Hotel The Stuart Hotel, Cornwall Street, 01355 221161. 8.30pm. Free. Manchester’s Dave Williams tops the stand-up line-up, whilst Brandon Reed and compere Viv Gee keep the comic cracks coming.

THURSDAY 20 Glasgow

The Fred MacAulay Show The Stand, 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £7 (£4). Cheeky chappie Fred sets the standard for the night’s entertainment. Challengers to his comic throne include special star guest John Moloney and resident support act Bill Dewar and Brian Hennigan with their Useless Guide To Scotland act. See panel.

Edinburgh

The Stand The Stand, 5 York Place, 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). Lyrical wizard Sandy Nelson challenges you to sing while laughing, and his backing vocalists for the evening are Craig Crookston, Chris Cooper, and Sean Ashfield. Comp Joon Broon lends a female voice.

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