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Not content with running one of the busiest venues on the Edinburgh any tall women in that Fringe, The Stand is continuing to run one of the busiest venues in era.’

Glasgow. The Woodlands Road comedy club is bringing through 22 Model turned actress Fringe shows from a variety of Edinburgh venues, saving Glasgow Saffron Burrows recalling laughter fans the £7 train fare and a whole lot of crowds. As well as the her Braveheart rejection Stand’s patent line-up of Scottish comics, up-coming acts include Dave Slip-

Gorman on Friday 11 August and the inimitable Johnny Vegas (pictured) who’s managing to get through on Saturday 19 August despite appearing in two shows in the capital.

‘A Steps concert.’

J from Five on his idea of hell.

'How would he feel if we stole his grandfather's skull?‘

Apache leader Ned Anderson questions George W. Bush over allegations that his grandpappy grave-robbed Geronimo's head.

'She smells of wee but we all love her.’

Radio 1's Sara Cox catches the mood of the nation as

the Queen Mum hits 100.

‘I miss the adrenaline rush that fierce, blinding hatred provided.’

Julie Burchill banging on about how these days, she IS able to see both Sides to every Story.

'I don't like football and I've never had a wank mag in my life.’

Mark Lamarr bites back at accusations of uber- laddism.

The Pipeline Coming quite soon...

The SECC'S newly announced season is a mixture of the old, the new and the frankly bizarre. Steely Dan, Bob Dylan and The Who make up much of the former while Five, A1 and Westlife are among the fresher-faced pop combos. But if genume all-out anarchic mayhem is what yOu're after, kids' favourites The Tweenies Will be entertaining you over three days next March, No doubt, the venue Will be boycotted by psychologists claiming that the weird-shaped ones are bad news for your

children. Never mind that, what we need to know is Just why Jake is forbidden to play With sossors and when Will Fizz’s flirty ways get her in bother? . . . Gomg solo is the new being-in-a-band. Ex- Kula Shaker frontloon Crispian Mills and ex-Stone Roses/Seahorses chordplucker John Squire are about to pursue careers on their tod. Let's hope they do a better JOb of it than Richard Ashcroft . . . If you believed in the Scream 2 mantra that it’s hard to find a decent sequel mowe, what ab0ut remakes? Three

The Tweenies get set for anarchic mayhem

forthcoming productions Will either have y0u wailing Joyously or writhing With discomfort. Mark Wahlberg, qUite a hairy man already, is set to nuzzle up to some chimps for the Charlton Heston role in Planet Of The Apes While Will Smith takes the Cary Grant mantle in comedy-thriller Charade. But, perhaps the strangest remake of them all is Sylvester Stallone being Michael Caine for the new version of Get Carter. And y0u thought Ewan McGregor as Alfie was a t0ugh act to swallow?

10—1 7 Aug 2000 THE LIST 3