Clubbed to death?

The club scene is big business, so the real business for the serious clubber is to stay one step ahead of the game.

ores: Thom Dibdin

(7 lrrbbrng rs dead lrke punk, rock ’n' roll, 60s flower power and Monty Python's parrot, c‘lubbrng has shuffled off this rrrortal corl Of course as many people go clubbrng every year as they ever drd And there's enough of what passes for clubbrng for The List to be able to produce thrs rssue's spec ral Club (jurde

tut the only reason clubs remarn as busy as ever rs that clubbrng, lrke the parrot, has been narled to rts perch Unlrke the parrot, however, rt rs the narlrng to the perch what krllecl rt

(_|ubbrng's colourful cadaver has been stuffed by the brewerres lf ecstasy gave clubbing lrfe, or was at least a contrrbutory factor rn house music's rise, then alcohol rrrust be rrnplrcated rn the creatron of the ster'rle and mockrng carrcature of rts former self that passes for the early 21st century clubbrng expc-.>rrencc-‘.

Before alcohol was actrvely pushed at clubs, they were run by fly guys wrth rnobrle phones and dodgy mates. Of course they were put on to make money, only at the very begrnnrng was the ‘free party’ anythrng lrke a regular realrty And of course the dodgy mates were attracted by the possrbrlrty of knoc krng out a few prllsr

But the drscotheuues, the meat-markets set up to grve the punter a place for the rrnbrbrng of enough bevy to secure a sordid encounter before therr kebab on the way home, fought shy of all ’rave musrc'. Remember repetrtrve beats7 Well, they were not welcome on the drsco floor

loclay, the clubs are run by the brewerres Scottrsh & Newcastle rs the biggest club runner rn Scotland. It strll puts on clubs rn order to sell alcohol, Just as rt always drd. The cirfference rs that house rnusrc and all rts attendant genres, are now not only known to the managers, but have been ossrfred rntc) place as the ostensrble reason for people to attend.

And the best club rn the country? llrat would be Eros and Elrte accordrng to a recent poll Whrch, I'm sorry to have to rnforrn you, arn’t clubbrnc; It's lrc.ensed lechery and lrc‘entrousness on a level that would have sated even Casanova's rapacrous appetrte or make a Norwegian blue. Great stuff, and to be applauded rn rts own way, but rt strll arn’t cilubbrng.

No, the real club runners, the purveyors of the lrkes of Slam, Pure, Tr'rbal Funktron, Colours and even the much-malrgnecl

Oasis take the Crowes road

8 THE llST 16—30 Nov 2000

The best club in the country is Eros and Elite; great stuff, but it ain't clubbing.


Each new generation has the pote a new temple to the glory of dance music

'If there's anything mothers always tell their daughters, it’s don't go out with singers in rock 'n' roll bands.’

'l filmed an advert for an English language course in London. It paid for my house}

‘William is having a great time in Chile, but he is also a huge fan of Cameron Diaz. He'll be very disappointed not to see her.’

’l was meant to be building sets and making props, but I spent more time cleaning

the toilets.’

ntial to build

Re/er‘ectron, are no more Most of these :n t '.l w-

alcohol was on sale, to be sure, but 3‘ c-'.' or "w, narnrrw l" “"3’” ll!“

was as places where you \.'.ent to her one lost in ' .,c ""‘l'lr ”’ 1'

Some of tl‘e cltrtt 'tl""r" ‘f'w'er: ll‘flm‘H’ll/ away and rest peacef 't rl't r “‘l"""’ lll'lfll‘” ’1 Youth~cultare cnril—oaI .‘tr'e ' '.t' , ’i'I'll‘lllllllll" 7 Others changed and cl 3 .r" ‘rj r ("-"W ?-'" '“ll'r” ways of prtwentrnct clar‘cc- ' r ’ra 2r [It's hard. lt not 'ely on t sale) or at ' ;t- . makes your punters rr fingers hurt.’ No, citrbbrnr; rnrglrt lnave gone to 'r‘eet ‘s rr'”) '.".2‘ Spice r; "

brewer'res be narlrnc; thew {Jilllit'ls to the new consurnptrorr, but not everythrnc; r? lost f it‘r:

generatron has the poterrtral to barécl a glory of dance nrusrc A ne‘.'. a trance of repetrtrve beats And I'll see you up _ Disagree? React@|


Ian Dury’s legend lrves on as a re-recordrng of hrs famed album New Boots And Panties rs berng made with guest vocalists rncludrng Brlly Bragg, Madness, Robbie Williams, Paul McCartney and Shane MacGowan. The release rs scheduled for Aprrl next

. Talkrng of legends, the producers behrncl Hanniba/, the follow-up to Silence Of The Lambs, are planning a thrrd chapter rn the story of everyone's favourite cannrbal after the warm reception of the second rn the US. It is assumed that Anthony Hopkins, who won an Oscar for hrs performance rn the frrst movre, wrll reprrse hrs role as Dr Lecter, but the estimated release date could be 2002. In the meantime we have Hanniba/ to keep us going, out on 9 February 2001 . r , Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight C/ub, let slrp at hrs recent reading at Borders in Glasgow that hrs follow-up novel, Survivor, is to be filmed, and may or may not star Jim Carrey _ . . Call rt two rock megalrths

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lrnrrra Burnt). fcrrrgnen‘, .lp

Tw'r‘m' '.(/ T't- ’0! r:‘)‘tr"rlf)l

(tartar planer;

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The Pipeline Coming quite soon...

atternptrng to help each other out on therr respectrve srdes of the pond or a double brll to end all double brlls, but Oasis and The Black Crowes are rn clrscussron over a scheduled co-heacllining Amencan tour next summer Whrle nothrng has been confirmed as yet, the two bands are currently ‘.'vrrtrng materral for new records scheduled for mrd- 2001 and the lrkelrhood of the tOur extending to a few Brrtrsh dates rs consrderable. Whrle the two bands allrance may seem a rather disparate notion given therr respectrve fan bases rn the UK, in the US they are apparently well surted . r Whrle not exactly romrng forces, Tommy Tiernan and Ed Byrne are hanging about rn the same end of town for a bit, rndulgrng rn some Srtcom shenanrgans. Tiernan returns for a second series of hrs Channel 4 show srna// potatoes whrle Byrne makes hrs Srtcom debut rn a show set rn London due to be screened next year co-starrrng none other than Davina McCall.