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record‘reViews. - - ' . 7:53;; is: pr 3 ' u ' ' _ Christmas Album Head J . . . _ E To Head


Two thousand years ago, when Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, it seems unlikely that he could have predicted what dreadful future mankind had in store. Either that, or he knew exactly the kind of

hideous crimes the human race

' . ‘- would be capable of inflicting on each other, in the form of small shiny Sin discs, and just thought he might as well get the fuck out of here and go and see his dad for a while.

What we’ve got here are two ’seasonal’ albums from diametrically

opposite ends of the shite musical spectrum, both beautifully indicative of how this world has gone to hell in a handbasket. The Lynyrd Skynyrd effort,

" ' ' ' (SPV t), is unashamedly derivative bar room boogie

pish, and sounds like an album of Dukes Of Hazzard chase music, if they

ever did a Christmas special, except not nearly as much fun. On the plus

side, they’ve got a song called 'Santa’s Messin’ With The Kid’ which, alas, isn’t nearly as sick as it sounds.

In contrast, NSYNC's Christmas travesty, M "- ' ' " (BMG i), is all smoothly syncopated, saccharine- coated, slippery, slimy sickness, which oozes with mega- corporation, cash-register-chinking schmaltz, and actually make you feel physically ill to listen to for any length of time. As the sleevenotes on both these abominations declare, 'Happy Birthday Jesus Christ!’. Just thank your lucky stars you’re up in heaven, big man, and not down here being subjected to these musical crimes. Merry Christmas folks! (Doug Johnstone)

Martine McCutcheon


James Grant Elvis Presley ' Otis Redding ROCK POP ' "

Rage Against The Machine

Marble Valley

3“ {a

Rage Against The Machine have got it covered