CLUBS listings Four play

Regulars at Optimo will know that Jamie Wilkes and Mitch are only pretending to D! by ostentatiously wearing headphones. Roland, the girl sampler with a boy's name, really runs the show. Here are her four favourites.

Silicon Teens: ‘Music For Parties'


From the man who gave us ’Warm Leatherette’ and Mute records Daniel Miller this is a whole album of demented synth pop cover versions.

Daniel, please sign me so I can get away

from that talentless Twitch and Wilkes


Arab Strap: ‘Rocket, Take Your Turn' (Fuk ID)

Sometimes my circuits get sad so I play this piece of beautiful dancefloor

j melancholia. Those Arab Strap boys are f so lewd at the club though, they scare me!

Patrick Cowley: ‘Mind Warp' (Rams

' Horn) There's lots of great gay disco moments . on this album, but there’s also too much

cheese. So I took all the good bits and

edited them together into an Optimo hi-

NRG freakout five minutes. I'm sooo clever, l scare myself.

if it“ ll?

his is that song about the Angry Germans. It started off as a Mount Florida track but those losers don’t know how to make dance music so I had to step in.

f ' Opt/mo at Substitute Venue (Planet Peach). Week/y Sun.

78TH: Li‘sr’i’s res—i Mar 2001


I Sam Wallace at Eat Drink Man Woman. 8pm-midnight. Free. Weekly. Across-the- board house sounds to get you ready for a night out.

I Spy at Spy Bar. 9pm—late. Free. Weekly. Colin Davie and Lawrence Hughes do alternate Saturday's. both providing quality house grooves.

I Traxx at The Cran. ()pni—midnight. Free. W *ekly. Derek from Traxx lays down some funk-drenched techno and soul for the laid- back drinking crowd.

I Walker & Hughes at The Living Room.

9pm—midnight. Free. Weekly. The deepest of

house frotn Colin and Lawrence one of the best ways to gear up for the night out proper. I The Works at Bar 10. 9pm—midnight. Free. Weekly. Graham Wilson with soul. hip hop and house.


I Adaptor at Mas. l lpm—3am. £8 (£5 with pass available from Air Organic. Soba and Bar l0). l7 Feb. Monthly. Marcia Blaine School for Girls give DJ instruction in the tnain room while residents Stucee and Jonny Metronome give it up through the back.

I Archaos at Archaos. I lpm—4am. £8. Weekly. A.J. rocks the main room with house and garage. Ian Thompson whacks out the best in underground garage and dance classics in Betty‘s. while members in the Sky Bar are treated to quality grooves from Colin Davie and Laurence Hughes. In addition. the Archaos cast of performers bring a touch of the circus to clubland with lire-eaters. stilt-walkers and daredevil trapeze artistry. Please note Roger Sanchez will be here on 24 Feb.

I b.ding at The Lighthouse (5th Floor.) Next date 3 Mar.

I Bennet's at Bennet’s. l 1.30pm—3am. £5. Weekly. Shaun with a commercial dance set and Annie with a blend of 70s and 80s hits at the city's oldest gay club. Not in terms of the clientele. of course.

I Bugged Out! at Queen Margaret Union. Next date l0 Mar.

I The Cathouse at The Cathouse. I0.30pm—3am. £3.50 (£2.50) before

I l.30pm; £4 after. Weekly. Indie. rock. grunge and beats across three floors.

I Club 69 at Rocksy‘s Basement. l()pm—2.30am (midnight curfew). £5 (members only). Weekly. The team behind the Rub-A-Dub record shop with the deepest underground sounds and the best guest DJs. For membership details. call Rub-A-Dub on 400 6967.

I Clubsole Residents Party at MAS. Next date 3 Mar.

I Colours at The Arches. I lpm—4am. Next date 10 Mar.

I Divine at Glasgow School of Art. l()pm—3am. £5 (£4); £3.50 GSA students. Weekly. Andrew Divine and Hush Puppy play that set they play of moogy noodling. Northem stomp and other future-retro sounds.

I Fluid at Alaska. l().3()pm—3am. £10 (£8). 17 Feb. Monthly. D] Q supplements his classy house sets with some slightly tougher action courtesy of ‘Evil' Eddie Richards.

I Freefall at The Arches. Next date 3 Mar. I Freeform at The l3th Note Club (both floors). 9pm—3am. Free before 10.30pm; £5 (£4) after. Weekly. All sorts of tunes from Steven and Paul Watt. taking in hip hop. jazz. disco and Latin. augmented by Ray Suzuki's left-of-centre projections.

I Freelance Science at Alaska. Next date 3 Mar.

I Fruitfly at The Arches. l lpm—4am. £10 (£8). 17 Feb. Monthly. Residents Fisher & Price bang out hard house. with a dash of uplifting stuff. the odd vocal and occasional Chicago moment.

I The Funk Room at The Arches. l().3()pm—3am. £8. 16 Feb. Monthly. It does exactly what it says on the tin: deep funk. pomo-funk.jazz-funk. new-school funk. other kinds of funk. Andrew Divine and Big Beat's Simon Hodge are the funk DJs. Funky.

I Fusion at The Renfrew Ferry. 9pm—2am. £5. 17 Feb. Monthly. Ken Ferguson. Robin. Mick P and DJ Greg playing all manner of house music. See Phactfile.

I Gain at Alaska. Next date It) Mar with Andy Weatherall.

I Groovejet at Trash. l lpm--3am. £7 (£5). Weekly. Brothers Matt and Pete knock out quality house and garage in the main room. while Paul N'Jie spins R&B in room two.

I Haptic at Riverside Club. Next date It) Alan

I Havana Esperito at (‘anv-as. £7. Weekly. DJ Jazz brings his Latino box of tricks to the Merchant City‘s newest venue. Canvas. where there's no dedicated dancefloor. but there is classy service and an elegant. sophisticated vibe for those who've had enough of sweat with their salsa.

I High at Mas. l Ipm—3am. £8. Weekly. The Saturday nighter at the new venue with Lawrence Hughes.

I Homebass at Alaska. l().3()pm—3am. £I() (£8). 24 Feb. Monthly. The Jengas residency has turned out to be one of the best at Alaska. This is probably because alongside their own considerable talents they put together high class line-ups like this: Tayo. Twitch and Kushi. And next month Tim Simenon is due to man the booth. Neat.

I Home Cookin' at Babaza. 6pm—3am (DJs from I lpm). Free before I lpm'. £5 after. Weekly. Nacem is joined by Stuart McCallum. regular guest at the likes of Fresh ‘n‘ Funky and Rotation down in the Big Smoke. who will be flying up each and every week to spin his trademark R&B with a dash of classic disco and funk.

I Infusion at Yang. 1 lpm—3am. Free before midnight; £5 after. W ‘ekly. Making full use of Yang‘s three rooms. you can catch Colin Gate and Dribbler in the main room with disco. New York garage and house. Andy Young and Nick Peacock do their Latin jazz thing with live percussion from Gee in room two and. last but not least. Scott Ferguson and Rhonatnok man the decks in the upstairs bar.

I Inside Out at The Arches. l().3()pm—4am. £tbc. 24 Feb. Monthly. How huge is Inside Out? The new resident is commercial overlord Judge Jules and he‘s roped in Sch Fontaine. Lisa Loud and Oliver Lieb. Nice one. Bangin'. Large. Etc.

I Jamboree at Reds. l lpm—3am. £7 (£5). Weekly. John Lyons and Martin Hesketh of Velvet Rooms fame mix up a blend of commercial R&B and soul.

I Knucklehead Present My Machines at The Glasgow School ofArt (upstairs). l()pm—late. £4 (£3.50). Weekly. Wilkes and Hatch hammer out cool. deadly funked-up techno and hard as nails house to a seriously appreciative crowd. By which we mean drunk.

I Life at Life. l()pm—3am. £5. Weekly. Andy Linger presents a selection of soul. funk and disco augmented with original samples and loops to guarantee a new take on familiar sounds.

I Lush at The Polo Lounge. l().3()pm—3am. £5. Weekly. Featuring Andy in the Trophy Room with hits from the 60s to the 80s while Tom provides an upfront dance selection in the main room at the city's prettiest gay club.

I Media at Media. 1 lpm—3am. £5 (£4). Weekly. Step back in time to revel in the tunes of the 70s and 80s.

I Mish Mash at The Riverside Club. Midnight—3am. £9. 24 Feb. Mish Mash has turned into an international phenomenon. Well sort of. the sister club in London‘s fashionable East End has been going down a treat. not surprising when you consider Oscar‘s house-dub- Latin. live percussive craziness and ragga toastage.

I Miss Moneypenny's at G l. l()pm—3.30am. £12 (£10). Weekly. The Brumtnie superclub touches down in Glasgow. With a reputation for glamorous antics that stretches from Britain to Ibiza and then some. expect beautiful punters. exotic dancers and seriously funky dancefloor action thanks to the Moneypenny‘s residents.

I Phat Dat Club at The Glass House. 8pm—lam. £7. 24 Feb. Monthly. House band Superstar play live with DJ support

and special mystery guests at this always interesting cltib night. g I Rumba Te Tumba at Havana Bar. i Qplll-“f‘ulll. Free. Weekly. A wild mix of Latin and Spaniin selections from the Salsa Sabrosa crew. l I Slave Sexual at Slav e. l()pm 3am. £7 (£5). Weekly. Robin and Loy ejoy with a harder hard house set than their weekly outings. Dress tip lovely and arrive early to avoid disappointment.

I Solution at Q. 5pm 3am (DJs from

I lptn). Free before I lpm; £5 after. t Weekly. Archaos‘ Ryan Kerr takes us er froin Stevie Middleton. on a vocal house i tip. I Subculture at Substitute Venue.

l lpmi 3am. £ |(). Weekly. Harri and Domenic cram an unfeasible number of perfect selections into the time available. The crowd go wild. You know how it goes.

I Tangent at The Riverside Club. l().3()pm—3am. £8. 17 Feb. Monthly. Sadly 7.7. Top won't be playing despite the fact that the band's hairy Dusty Hill has been (rightly) Used in the promotion campaign. Still. some of their rocking guitar hits might get a look in as the Tangent fellas are famed for their eclectic assemblage.

I Triumph at The Tunnel.

l().3()pm- 3.30am. £0 (£7). Weekly. Colin Tevendale and Steven McCreery supply the dressed-up glamour kids with progressive house and trance in the tnain room while Kevin MacFarlane and Stephen Lee mix up garage. disco and vocal house in rootn two. If you‘re not wearing awfully nice clothes. however. don‘t expect to get in.

I 2 Tons Of Fun at Club Budda.

l lpm—3am. £6. Weekly. (ieoff Montford and Chris Harris get funky with a bang-

up-to-date selection of disco house.

I The Unit For details visit www.the-

I Vegas at The Renfrew Ferry. Next date 3 Mar.

I Velvet Rooms at The Velvet Rooms.

1 lpm—3am. £4 before midnight; £8 after. Weekly. Stevie Smith breaks out the clth classics. garage and house in the main room while Raymond Woods cools things down with hip hop and R&B in room two.

I Wired at Asylum. Caledonian University Union. l()pm—3am. £tbc. Weekly. Glasgow's longest running alternative indie night with drinks promos aplenty.

Chart & Party

I Bankers at Bonkers. I lpm—3am. £4 before midnight; £5 after. Weekly. Ilits from the 80s. chart house and cheesy trance.

I Classic FM at Fury Murry‘s.

l lpm—3am. £6 (£4). Weekly. Dance classics and party tttnes. with alternative and rock tunes upstairs in Twister.

I The Garage at The (iarage. l()pm—3am. £5 (£3) before 1 1pm; £6 (£4) after. Weekly. Super-commercial party sounds on the main dancefloor and indie classics in The Attic.

I Graduate Club at g2. l lpm—3am. £4 (£3). Weekly. Designed to suit those who have always enjoyed a Garage-style night out. bttt feel a little long in the tooth when surrounded by fresh-faced. lager- stained youngsters. Steve Davis provides the arty anthems.

I T e Shack at Shack (formerly The

Temple). l().3()pm—3am. £7 (£5). Cheerful chart tunes.

I Seduction at Destiny. l()pm—3am. £6 before I lpm; £7 after. Weekly. Tonight the club would like you to ‘dress to impress‘ while enjoying the Usual commercial house ‘n‘ trance pap.

I Strawberry Fields at Strawberry Fields. l().3()pm—3am. £5. Weekly. Classic party nonsense from the 60s to last week.


Pro-club I Bitch School at Nice ‘n' Sleazy. 3pm—7pm. Free. Weekly. The chaps

behind Deathlehem (they have a way