Rear view

Phil Kay * i

Phil decides it’s better to be seen and

not sawn as he delves into I Saw You.

I from there. Do try. I saw you steal my bike. Lovely maroon stay-press catsuit. Bring it back to me baby.

I saw you through your window for hours. Me: sweaty and forlorn and at the point of climax where desire can rip your heart out and force it down your throat. You: sleeping like an angeL

I saw you but did you even notice me? I was in a car and I passed you on the M8 in a maroon Fiesta L reg. Late 97. You were looking straight ahead, smiling. Please, PLEASE: you have ten days or I take the slip road off to eternal oblivion, and on your head be it.

I saw you, you know who you are. Reply to this or I eat my way through a catering pack of Butterscotch Angel Delight per day and you can imagine how that would feel.

I saw you in my room late last night. You: burglar, creeping around thinking I was asleep and being oh so gentle with my stuff, handling it like you really were a soft and loving guy. Come, and steal my heart.

I saw you in half my beautiful assistant. Please Carol let’s give it one more try. Geneva on the 8th?

I saw you and you were not heard, Victorian child, well done.

I saw you and really liked you at the first instant there was all that there could ever be, all the volcanic rush of excitement and yet to admit it to you then would have somehow been to tread over the natural essence of the situation so now I am using an intermediary text to try and find you again; sending it out into the universe and I give no details because there must be millions of you. There are millions of me.

I saw you looking in my window. You: hiding in the bushes like huge shivering fruit and showing considerable dedication. It will not go unrewarded. I am a river.

I saw you, of course I saw you I was staring into your eyes for stretches of time that lasted like meditations; what I mean is I really saw you, caught a glimpse right into you.

John Fardell

(Menu oftlze last fifteen year; from E$Tfofi®if Country Tavern

Speaal beef—fad Beef. for {quc extra bee/:1 {cute-n

I saw you ‘heterosexual’ guy who likes to rim me. I miss you.

I thaw you out and heat you up.

John Thaw is you, inspect me Morsey, let’s get forensic. I

I saw you reading The Lisf’s I Saw You column and I was eyeing you up at the moment when you were reading the one I

saw you in my dreams, I wonder if you can get back to me

in the flesh.

I never saw you, I only heard you on the phone taking all the details for the ‘I Saw You’ column, and you handle all these countless messages like an impartial poste de coeur, and what about YOU? Christ I want to rub your feet.

I saw you scratching, you want to get some cream for that arm. Get in touch with yourself.

Reply to this or I eat my way through a catering pack of Butterscotch Angel Delight per day.

I saw you and you filled me full of dread like a cold shower so I know I’ll have nothing to do with you; it is just one of those intuito-warnings things.

I saw you on the Edinburgh train, you bashed my knee with the buffet trolley and spat in my face. Let’s get together and you can finish me off.

I saw you, desperately hoping that you were enough, enough to be loved as you are, and you are, yes, plenty . . . don’t bother to answer this, I am not good enough, not worthy of you, but god bless and have a great time. Such is your loveliness that I am glad to even speak to you and cannot lament the loss of a love that could not be mine.

I saw you at the altar, we were married then, bam, you fucking disappear, what’s up Katherine MacGougaI (nee Burrs), 24 Bishop Terrace, Flat 37/buzzer ‘Craig’ (press it hard some kids put gum in the casing) from Allan (MacGougal).

I see you as I write this on the train to Dunfermline, in the shameful, beautiful one eye V between the seats.

Qt’fi't’u' uf‘ W's/'5

: . Environmental .010" “1:92 flux.” 5-, .let/ ..

fol/awed by Market Cranial!

1’ £241?

You tonnes )“X don't uvflerJO’M‘ (N wags 0f we coufit’yfi'de -'

5P“ch Northwvtbfmn '5. ., pork—fed Iork , for that f .1 excra perky to“:

,, unf'c'ffdndtt‘lu a..:onzmn.'ed by mer vegetable: and nuts , wcm chips on ,mouider...

I. r'

7:.) L om “v.21: demanded (may max: 1

Cu; Juff’f‘lrlr’.l(.’.‘ “‘5' “fee/in, us,

Jul! 5?.”

' Mmlsmv q; Mascummfil

ngw “4 Foot)

Don‘t wofl’y, we've got everything

Md" copich now. mgr .. @

Countrgsade's Goose Ii. well and tvulg cooked” stuffed and felt tom 3 m Own Juice.

(4 .' Me for u: .’.. We'llJusc press

straight on to the am (can? of GM. Cm; trials.

136 THE LIST 12—26 Apr 2001

sent in about you and you thought that they were from two ! different people and you preferred the hidden nature than me 9