THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

I The murder of actor Bonny Lee Bakley. Wife of Robert Blake lE/ectra Glide /n B/ue. Lost Highway). is hotting up to be the next O.J. Simpson trial by media extravaganza. Bakley was found with a fatal head wound in her car in downtown Los Angeles on Friday A May. Though she was supprmedly the target of a stalker. siisi’iir;ioii rests on Blake. who had a tumultuous relationship With his Wife and who allegedly owned the same type of handgun a Walther PPK used in the slaying. Most sensational of all. however. is American muckracking tabIOid the National Engurrer's allegation that Blake met fellow actor Marlon Brando days before the murder. Bakley had preViously tried to entrap Brando's son. Christian. into marriage. The investigation continues . . .

Under suspicion

I Fancy going down on a sinking ship. Titanic style? Strathclyde and Leeds Universities and the Maritime and Costguard Agency will be only too pleased to fOunder you. Actually. they're testing evacuation innovations and need extras for the job. To sign up for nautical madness contact Screensearch on 0870 7280609.

I /nsider he; rs that badass drum 6; bass don Goldie is continuing his passion for playing baddies isee Bond's last outing. The ‘."/()r/d Is Not Enoughi by taking a role as an East End bad boy in EastEnders. Goldie's first appr—3arancr-é is scheduled for the end of this month. Can we expect a reVitalised TV theme tune?

I It's offiCIal. Basic Instinct II has been axed. MGM has put an end to the long-gestating sequel to the hit 1992 thriller. Returning star Sharon Stone has promptly taken the film's producers to court. suing them for breach of contract which allegedly guaranteed her $7.14 million ‘pay or play" lie whether or not the film got made). The case continues . . .

I The Eminem radio ban is hotting up in America. The US censorship body FCC has fined a Colorado radio station 87000 for playing an edited version of 'The Real Slim Shady'. And according to FCC guidelines. once material is declared obscene. any later broadcast constitutes ‘egregious misconduct' and warrants a heavier fine. The censorship was hotly debated at a recent hip hop Summit attended by Eminem l‘fok you. ya motha' Insider presumes). The debate connnues...

I Unbelievable!

Not satisfied With enormous marketing

r~ budgets the

Hollywood film

Playing the badass Edinburgh address.

0 ‘Take my advice, or I‘ll spank you without pants.‘

studio Columbia Tristar invented a fake film critic to sing its filins' praises, According to David Manning of The Ridgefie/d Press. Connecticut. the new Rob Schneider comedy The Animal is “another winner!' while Heath Ledger, star of A Knight's Ta/e. is ‘this year's hottest new star!‘ These quotes have appeared in print and on publiCIty material. A spokeswoman for Columbia admitted it was. “an incredibly foolish action.' The studio is currently taking ‘heads will roll’ action. Still. it's nice to see that in this age of the supposedly unsinkable blockbuster. Hollywood acknowledges the influence of film criticism.

I Finally. Insider fOund these actual English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong circulating on the internet: 'I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.‘ ‘Gun wounds. again?‘ ‘Same old rules: no eyes. no groin.' ‘A normal person w0uldn't steal pituitaries.‘ 'QLiiet or I'll blow your throat up.‘ ‘Beat him out of recognisable shapel' 'l have been scared shitless too much lately.‘ 'Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected' ‘How can you use my intestines as a gift? 'This Will be of fine serVice for you. yOu bag of the scum.‘ “You WI” not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert floor for your aunts to eat.“ ‘Yah-hah. eVil spider woman! I have captured yOu by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to yOur gynaecologist for a thorough extermination.' Greetings. large black person. Let us not forget to form team up together and go into the c0untry to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.‘ Readers With access to any of the films in which the above dialogue appears should send tapes to lnS/def at Our


My mother identified herself as Scottish through and

through. Which didn’t mean she read me stories on Bonnie Prince Charlie all the time.’ [)a‘. i»: s ~ r i ~

‘lt’s a war film about the siege of Malta. There’s no room for women; not even for the missus.’

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‘This could be a way to lighten the mood.’

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‘It’s like an eleven-year—old American’s version of Europe.’

One US CHI/("3; ver‘di. 3' on I ara (iii Tomb Harrier

‘He’s such a patronising bastard, he really is.’

HO/l/l’ Mel ers/r far/s to riot/.e .i rogui- .riiirjr'orihorie rii air/ii I‘M/MN) offering a private opiriior: or) Norther." /'i,’/(i/)(/ :;e(,‘r'et.'ir'i' John Heir].

‘We needed to have our puberty alone. Now we are back and re-married.’

Nina Per'sson 'exp/i'iiris' lhe (,‘qiri/igani.’ temporary splitting.

‘You could talk for two hours about The Brothers Karamazov but all that gets printed is the three comments you make about sex.’

Heather Graham comp/airis about the agenda being set by male //ll(,’f‘/l(,‘W(,’l