Photos: Jonathan Littlejohn

ROCKIN Tl—ll' l‘lUUE‘vl It’s sad but true that the modern- day bingo caller eschews traditional rhymes for boring old ‘six and four, 645’. But for the purposes of this handy bingo guide, The List is bringing them back. Words: Kelly’s Eye Apter

Dirty Whore, No 24 The number of hours you need to be a club member before playing. Joining is free and. having checked you‘re not wanted in six counties for excessive false claims. they‘ll send you a natty card which you can tuck proudly next to your VISA.

On it’s own, No 7 The time you should aim to arrive for an evening session. It's eyes down at 7.30pm and you'll need at least hall’ an hour to work out what the hell's going on. Although. those wishing to hone up in advance should visit www.hingo- for info on local clubs and top tips for new recruits.

Doctors Orders, No 9 The amount of pounds sterling a full set of ‘hooks’ costs. Each one contains three to seven ‘games‘ and. having purchased said hooks and entered the cavernous. packed hall. you'll soon realise that everyone in the entire room knows exactly which hooks to use and when. lixcept you. Happily. Mr Caller keeps you right.

Chopping Sticks, No 6 Most books have six

tables per page. which you have to keep track of

during a game. The aim is to get one line. two lines then a full house. with each one signalling a hearty call ot~ ‘house!’ from the winner. Unless the claim is false. the games over and you turn the page. Simple though this may sound. it will. without question. have your heart pounding faster than a whippet as you struggle hopelessly to keep up. All around you is a sea of calm as

16 THE LIST 5—19 Jul 2001

It will have your heart pounding faster than a whippet. Everyone is in control. Except you.

people el‘l‘ortlessly tick ol'l~ their numlicrs. Everyone is in control. li\cept you.

Cock ‘n’ Hen, No 10 'l‘imes this hy (it) and you get (illll. which is the number ol' cluhs across Britain that link up tor the ‘Xational (iame‘. .\ £l()().()()()_iackpot is tip tor grahs each night. hut with that many players. don‘t hold your hreath. More l'casihle is a win on the regional link—up. although a move to Hamilton is adyisetl: they won all the games the night I play ed.

Top of the Shop, No 90 lhe numlicr ot cigarettes you should endeayotn‘ to smoke during the evening in order to help maintain the healthy

log which w ill hay c you sucking on car lumes as l'c‘\pllc‘ Illc' \L‘Utlltl ytttl leayc.

Ticketty 800, No 22 Roughly how much you'll need to 'stay in the gamc' during the so- called ‘hrcaks'. l'ot‘gct chatting to ,VUlll‘ mates/y isiting the har. hetwecn hooks your table lights up. you stick a pound in the slot and a new caller steps up to the mic lot ‘(iashline‘ (same game. hut with counters not dohhers. the hingo players pent. ll~ you thought hingo was about having tun. think again. It's ahout \\'l.\'.\'l;\'(i. \Vhich I didn‘t. But I‘ll he hack (did I also mention it's completely addictive?)