Rear view

Phil Kay

Phil has some cross words about how no two

things are alike.

ne across: ladders from between the wars. eight letters. something. something. e. something. summingsummingsumming. One down: caterpillar no longer upset. three five. A red-face aboard the ship. two down. Cheeky soldier in light pants harbouring grudge for novice archer

starts with l. Honible rodent is not really in this dish rat no rat pigeon pie. no. ratatouille?

Can you imagine scripting the dialogue for an entire crossword-solving scene? When you go fonetik. being a stenographer of life? Jesus Aich. I can think ofa few things it is hard to do in writing -— like the sound of a shallow brook running over stones and small boulders in sun-spilled water other than to say what it sounds like.

There is hard writing and there is hard writing. Saying exactly what you feel without recourse to another example is as hard as lifting a big rock up a fairly steep incline, like being Sisyphus’ cobbler. like stealing lava in your pockets, like trying to impress the nephews at Xmas with iron filings, paper and magnets among the Nintendii. Hard.

‘Hey what‘s the new album like. Todd?’

‘Well it’s like a cross between Aerosmith and RuPaul.‘ ‘Who’s RuPaul‘?’

‘A very tall drag act, black. beautiful. mainstream acceptance, sudden disappearance.’

‘Like Danny La Rue?”

‘Much more American. like accepted for his stroke her

without recourse to

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Saying exactly what you feel

another example ’~ 3 is as hard as

stealing lava in your pockets.

difficult time {CF JLM“

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outrageousness. rather there. And is much old

than La Rue who almost pretends there is no man in er. l)i\'a liying.‘

'1 always thought Lam (irayson was great . . .'

’Shut up. . .'

with Julian Clary."

l TitCtJ “8460‘

. and shut that door . . . So kind of like a . . .

.. aver 1J1?

Naomi ('amphcll crossed

‘Yeah. how did you know."

‘l‘m guessingf

. seriously . . . so the album . . .' 'l.ike . then. llamhoyant camped-up ['8 rock that has found a way to go all the w ay liy emhracing and holding the well-shay cd chin way up high.’

‘C‘t'tisst‘tl with . . .‘ ‘NU that includes the ct'tiss.‘

(I was coming in the close last night on the same note. different key and I met two drunk guys with three long sincere hand shakes each to giye out. They asked me for a joke and I told them this. 'l'wo guys talking. One is playing foothall with a new club. ‘l lows the coach'." asks one. The other guy says. ‘( )h. the coach is awful. l‘m wotTicd. Last week he asked for a hundred and ten percent effort. eyeiything w e‘xe got.‘ ‘And what's the trouble." asked his friend. ‘\\'el|. I'm afraid that this week he'll ask for a hundred and twenty percent . . . and l don‘t think I can manage that.‘

I walked away pissing myself like a man who had said something he liked for the Very reason that he had just thought of it. It incorporated an awareness that it was not what these guys wanted: and then finally sat with its own awareness that it really was what these clowns wanted. hecattse what else can you want from people but what they want to giye'.’)

Like that. That is what I felt like.

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atmosphere at scotits'n small town life. at the Annual Greg Pebblcdash Convention , this. for bequ held in DolCdqut, west Lothian.

128 THE LIST 19 Jul—2 Aug 2001


when the Cauldencmnkte Common-tn eentfe is running at Find Your Own Inner Selkie Weekend Nowonop , {Lacuna} ancie‘nt Celt» arts of storf’cBhM'f) Thi- r'ni (stew-mg to whalesnng C05

Great fun for a.\ ages. .

on the

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cultural events , you

World class to Glasgow...

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