Rear view

Phil Kay

Eight columns for the price of one.

ere is a selection of ideas that seemed great and felt like they would go somevvhere -- and they did - yet they vvould never be long enough to he an entire article.

Nip and truck Tmckfest was not your typical lidinburgh liestival shovv. Indeed it vvas not even part of the liestival in any vvay. It ran for only tvvo days and vvas advertised only on lampposts for male drivers to see. Most l’estival shovvs had posters vvith an image designed to stir the mind up and a small selection of immodest quotation.

Tmckfest did not go in this direction. lts needs vverc very similar and completely different. It too vvanted people to go in and the organisers chose the vvay to attract them. The one true difference may be that the promoters of theatrical shovvs knovv that the point at vvhich folk choose a shovv is of relevance. You can enjoy the shovv before it starts by liking the poster.

The trucks were unmagnilicent. Obviously they vvere large trucks. but I got there too late and savv them all as they vvere leaving. The full glory of a truck doing what it is built to do »~ sit in traffic vvas a spiritually uplifting bonus. Solid productions; great sound and terrific large trucks make this shovv a well— vvorth—a—look type one. does vvhat it says on the poster. it fests. ('Three Stars‘ ( ‘. . . out of live‘ )).

Key to success

Other Things In lidinburgh That Don‘t (let Revievvs. The Keycutter on l‘rederick Street gives an excellent performance. He moves behind a counter and vvorks with skill and assurance that is not as common as it once was. He is. hovvever. able to have added his ovvn. very personal skills. to complement his ovvn training. He cuts keys vvell. they fit the lock: he will freely colour code them and has a vvide range of key-related products . . . fob. chain. ring.

Indeed. this variety is stretched on the very fundamental level too: this key cutter is also a shoe repairer and vvait for it! r~ a dry-cleaner too. liantastic value with the triumvirate of skilled vvorkers providing accurate if unemotional service. Sometimes you just want to get a heel replaced and a nevv Yale: vvell. this is the place for you. Superh value shovv runs ()am tipm daily (not Xmas day).

Cop a load of this

The Police. (‘ostumes that stick in the mind forever and a ferociously violent brand of racist violent men are not vvhat ‘The Police‘ is about. liounded in the late late century they are headed novv by a (‘hief Super liltra lntendent.

Six and the city

I overheard a man saying. 'I vvish l vvas someone else either". And I could not vvork out hovv it was vvrong. Then I realised I could. It was just the idea of putting it into vvords that vvould get caught on other things on the way: like the guy I heard at the Barras saying. ‘I

once spelt my ovvn name vvith a six‘. At first it seems vvrong becattse

‘either’ at the end of the sentence is used as an indicator of continuation of

tin—choice. There tnust have been a first to then have an ‘either‘ to relate to. And of course it milst he possible for either to mean its ovvn opposite too; that you can vvant to do something as vvell as not. Either either not neither.

Bubble bursting

When I vvas very young I used to think that the bubbles you blevv and then fell to the ground vvent through the floor as they had the air. passing into the neighbour’s house belovv. bringing them excitetnent in a lovely way. In fact I didn‘t. I thought of it as an adult and thought it vvould he lovely for someone to have had that idea. 01‘ rather. to attribute it to a kid in. say. a short film about the thoughts of young people and narrated by them and so failingly. inventively. happily unlinear and hovv it vvould he a magic idea.


MildSeven are an enormous big brand of fags that sell vvell in the far east of the liarth and vvhen I see it vvritten on racing cars‘ spoilers I can freely associate vvith it although I knovv that they are not a big brand over here. So it is the closest thing I have ever had to not understanding something and understanding it. the smallest gap. Like hearing a joke in a foreign language and then building up to a laugh: oh yes. it is funny as vvell. even vvithout the actual details of the path. I live not vvhere MildSeven are big. but I can imagine vvhat it vvould he like to think of them as highly familiar. Then I realised that even this closest of possible meetings. of Alaska meets Russia. vvas still a vvhole impossibility avvay.

Gone in 60 seconds

Starting there vvith my finger on the shift button and trying not to avoid longer vvords and trying to repair bad spellingingisations. I am seeing hovv many vvords I can type in one minute and vvhether I can think of ((30 seconds here) 4| vvords. ()0 words is a lot. I mean ()0 vvords that mean something. All these folk who can type all that fast-rate stuff. I mean can they actually think of something to say. can they think of ()0 decent llovving vvords a minute. can they‘.’ (60 seconds here) 48 words. l'ltimately a minute is a short time. it is just

minutes. there is nothing bigger really is there'.’ I mean. it is all here in microcosm isn‘t it'.’ All there is is here novv for you and me t(i() seconds) 50 vvords.

A safe jet

At (ilasgoyv Airport in the main open hit on the ground floor they keep all the vvheelchairs under the escalator in a sort of natural othervvise—purposeless fucked lieng Shui spot. They also keep here 7 or rather have placed here as an exhibit » a hugely povverful Rolls and Royce jet engine in a glass case that may even spin around displaying its motion in my imagination. livery time I see this. I think it is unusual. There is the fantastic contrast of the povver and the vvalkless. I can hardly imagine that no one thought about the huge juxtaposition. And then again. maybe they did and vvent ahead anyvvay.

Out Thursday 6 September

64 THE LIST I’~1;’\t.<j ‘5 Sup! I)’)()l

that the vvorld and our time here on it is made tip of