Insider notes that in its Sopranos feature this issue. The List is giving 2-1 odds on Ralph Cifretto being whacked in the forthcoming series. However, Insider will lay money on Nasty Nick from Big Brother taking a snooze with the fishes first. Why? Because Nick Bateman has started dating Tony Soprano's wife Carmela, or rather Edle Falco who plays Mrs S in the show. The unlikely pair met when Falco appeared on the London stage in a one-off celebrity special performance of The Vagina Monologues. What you gonna do?

iii If you think Nick Bateman and Edie Falco are an unlikely combination, what about Lara von Her and Richard Wagner? Having shaken up world cinema with his back-to- basics filmmaking manifesto. Dogme 95, and shaken up not a few cinema-goers with his brand of ultra-tragedy in Breaking The Waves and Dancer In The Dark, von Trier is to overhaul Wagner's Ping cycle. The Danish maverick will stage all four operas at the Bayreuth Festival in 2006 (the Edinburgh International Festival manages to stage only one per year). So. bearing in mind von Trier's Dogme film The Idiots included sex scenes featuring full penetration, can culture lovers in Baveria expect explicit sex in the. erm, Ring?

Ill-"i Francis Ford Coppola is pulling out. prematurely. playing it safe. as it were. Having hammered away at it for fifteen years.

6 THE LIST 1—15 Nov 2001

He". gonna turn scheissen grave" s

Coppola is set to rethink his futuristic epic Megalopo/is. The film, which Coppola announced at the Cannes Film Festival this May would be his next project. is now in what the big, fat men in suits who smoke big, fat cigars call turnaround. The reason? Mega/opo/is is about the rebuilding of New York City after a disastrous incident. (Is it only Insider who thinks Hollywood should stop pussy-footing around any film that has anything to do with New York? We all know there will eventually be an awful TV movie called something like Terror in The Twin Towers: The Story Of 77 September.)

Someone give brave Baz Luhrmann a big pat on the back. The director of Moulin Rouge is going ahead with his plan to buy an apartment in New York in spite of

1 1 September and in spite of the Anthrax scares. ‘I needed to come back here because I don't want someone telling me not to. Allowing terrorists to diminish my experience of visiting New York is being

Who’s getting up to what

oppressed. the beginning of the end.‘ Oh, well done. Baz. That's shown bin Laden, or whomever started World War III. Prat.

Getting down from the soapbox: if you were standing in the Drill Hall in London's East End at 3pm on the day this issue of The List hit the news stands and you were a man. you could drop your trousers and expose your manhood in return for fame. fortune and not a little world travel. That's right, the creators of Fringe hit Puppetry Of The Penis are looking for more of what gentleman always relish and ladies occasionally admire. Johnsons. John Thomases and todgers. to appear in a new production touring America and Canada.

Orbital are to rise to a different occasion on the crazy spoof game show Banzai. In the news series airing on E4 from 13 November, Paul and Phil Hartnoll will tackle the challenge of breaking a glass using a note emitted from their keyboard.

George W. Bush has demanded a screening of the film Khandahar. It's hard to imagine him caring about the film’s autobiographical storyline in which a Canadian woman steals into Aghanistan in search of her suicidal, female Afghan friend maybe Dubya thought he might spot bin Laden's hideout in the background to the drama. Except. Khandahar wasn't filmed in Afghanistan. but over the border in Iran.

Tony“. gonna go iokln' nuts.


‘As soon as I was born, I fell into singing, show business. And

once in it, I felt like a fish in water.’ More amazing revelations from Celine Dion '3 autobiography.

‘How many holes does it take to fill the Albert Hall? We don’t know, but this pastichey emotional void seemed to manage it pretty well.’

NME remains unconvinced of Robbie Williams‘ transformation into a Sinatra- esque Crooner.

‘She’s not blonde enough.’

A callous Hugh Hefner on why he wouldn't consider Jordan as his eighth current girlfriend/mistress.

‘I think that Adam F is one of the most blazing upcoming producers out there on the hip hop side. I think he has the potential to become a Dr Dre.’

LL Cool J describing the ascendancy of British DJ Adam Fenton.

‘If people were passing a joint around, I’d never take it. Yuk! Who wants to have a go at the soggy old end of a fag?’

Lorraine Kelly maintains the mumsy moral high ground.

‘I was under six stone and apart from the fragility of my body I was putting myself in danger on a daily basis, driving a car, smoking, and abusing myself with so much alcohol.’

Anne Robinson recalls the days when she herself was the weakest link.

‘Nine out of ten films in which I might be asked to do a scene in which my penis would be sucked

I would probably “no”.!

Iain Glen comes clean on screen sex.

Annie reveals her weak pomta